Depression...

[ManDownUnder]

Hey AJ - help me help Mack will ya?

I could do with the hand and it might put things in perspective for you. I'm not asking for money - it's time, and care for another incredibly decent human being.

I'm willing to bet you feel good at the end of it all too hun.

PM sent.

[Kittyhawk]

there is no use in asking... it's a hopeless cause... it's not going to get any better.. I'm sorry... to all of you... I can't help me... no one can help me...

Like I mentioned earlier AJ - What steps have you taken in order to improve your lifestyle?

It's all very well discussing it on this thread, but I have taken the shit, the hard times, going to hell and back, meds, therapy, parents, (and got rid of the ex,) support from others and tried to make myself a better person.

I am not working, so finance is really tight like pvc pants at the mo, but hey I couldnt give a fark....I threw the rich life, and controlling parents away. You dont need money to be happy as I learnt, sitting outside in the sun loosing yourself in a book dosent cost anything.

Visiting your neighbours and having priceless laughs dosent cost anything. Washing someones bike, is doing good and makes them smile.

I have one question for you....and its a harsh one. If you arent going to help yourself, why should others pick up your pieces?

My intentions for myself, is that Im going to get to the bottom of my problem and beat it. Laugh at it, conquer it, turn around and support my friends when they need them. Be the shoulder to lean on, cry on, laugh on.

[DMNTD:Me]

....and this pic(below) goes with it...

[RiderInBlack]

Go the Dalia Lama. He's the man

[Curious_AJ]

"If you arent going to help yourself, why should others pick up your pieces?"

exactly.. I don't wanty mayone to pick up my pieces, I just wanted to rant... and vifer, thanks for the whack in the head, good points, but all it seems to do is bleed.. doesnt knock anything into place.. and i wish it did, but reading it with a blank mind does nothing.

i get the HTFU from everyone, it only makes me feel worse because I know I'm letting them down.

it's hard to explain to you guys, but if you think i don't want to help myself, you're probably right at this point. as i said, i've given up... its too hard for my stupid japie brain to handle... it's nto a cry for help, or pity, or anything.. i just thought that posting in here may help me sort my shit out because i typed it down... but i was wrong.. i'm only more confused.

[jazbug5]

Why not try reading this? --> Depression Learning Path

It may be more helpful than sending your 'rants' (your words) out into the ether. Seriously, please have a look. I'm not having a go, any more than the others are: the message is not so much HTFU. Most of us have real experience of this illness, and have reasons for saying things which may be hard to hear.

Like it or not, to cope you have to learn the techniques to cope. The techniques exist because someone with the same issues did some hard work and then took the time to share what they had discovered. Personally I see it as akin to having a very high maintenance, sensitive, but high performance motorcycle. I dunno, like a Ducati, perhaps. But no manual.
You have to figure it out yourself, but as with unexplained mechanical problems, there is a simple solution which you have often overlooked, and it takes a calm methodical approach to find it. That's the hard bit, often.*

On the up side- when you get the bloody thing going, you'll outpace all the 'steady plodders' - and what a ride you'll have!

* So sometimes the first step might be to simply weather that storm. I tend to use music, myself.

[Curious_AJ]

i personally don't understand that site, It doesn't seem to say what it is, and to make sense to me...

[jazbug5]

Oh? I find that surprising, but try scrolling to the bottom. There's a table of contents there.
Basically, it's a bit like a set of lessons designed to be worked through in order. There is also a forum in there somewhere, I believe.

[Boob Johnson]

That's the bugger with depression, it's a vicious cycle, it feeds it's self until you get so low that the only possible movement is move up. That's how it worked for me. I got to a point where I got sooooo pissed off with it & thought BUGGER THIS!!! Ive had a ENOUGH!!! This HAS to stop!!! So yeah I can understand where your coming from wanting to have a rant, sometimes you do need to vent Its healthy.


Certainly for me that was the first point of forward movement. So for my 2 cents worth when you get to that stage you will have the motivation to not only seek answers/skills to combat it but actually implement them.


Rock on AJ, just remember your not alone (especially in this wonderful forum...........so many good people here). It's something that effects a large number of people world wide & there IS light at the end of the tunnel. When your ready you will seek that light & someday look back on this with a smile







A lil something from me ------------------>

[Kittyhawk]

i get the HTFU from everyone, it only makes me feel worse because I know I'm letting them down.

I had a great job, was in a band, teaching 12 students drum corp, had a relationship, teaching newbies how to ride safely, teaching private music lessons etc.....

But I snapped.

Yes I let everyone down. I stopped attending all these things, which is what I called my life.

So what if you let people down? I've only just picked up the pieces of my life, by returning to band 9 months later...and no sooner than walking in the door people were demanding me to help them.

People understand when one someone crashes. And its the real friends, who will allow you to pick your life up where you left off again. I was welcomed back into the band, and it did feel like I slipped back into my old life.

It was one of the hardest steps made returning back into performance music. Now Im helping out another brass band do a gig next weekend at the town hall, and its almost booked out. Prob 1000ish people will be there. Once again another small step forwards for me musicially.

You need to start making steps. Have you thought about what your first step will be?

[ManDownUnder]

I had a great job, was in a band, teaching 12 students drum corp, had a relationship, teaching newbies how to ride safely, teaching private music lessons etc.....

But I snapped.

Yes I let everyone down. I stopped attending all these things, which is what I called my life.

IN-TER-ESTING POST!

Kitty - I don't know how much I saw or was involved with but from my point of view - I always said, and fully maintain... You have NEVER ONCE, EVER let me down. The challenges, battles, scars, repeated blows, and pain you have stood in the face of meant you needed support from time to time.

There are always two sides to the story - and I respect your side - you know me well enough. I don't doubt that's how you feel and I am simply stating my side. You haven't let me down hun.
You've shown me what determination and courage is.

Tell me - do you recognise that place AJ is at the moment? I remember when you were there. Now I see you climbing the other side of that valley. You have a way to go (as do I)... but you see what I meant when I told you "Your time will come to help others." That's starting.

And so it goes with AJ. Her time will come, and the feeling and ability to help others is part of the coping. To guide them through the tunels you've been through. To share your part of that map.

It's all good hun... it's all good. You never let me down - and now I see you helping others up.

You know how I feel about that.

[Ocean1]

"Your time will come to help others." That's starting.

And so it goes with AJ. Her time will come, and the feeling and ability to help others is part of the coping. To guide them through the tunels you've been through. To share your part of that map.

It's all good hun... it's all good. You never let me down - and now I see you helping others up.

Tenuous theory at best, but do you not see a correlation there dude?

[ManDownUnder]

Tenuous theory at best, but do you not see a correlation there dude?

Tenuous - maybe... purely anecdotal I'll freely admit ... and correlation? HELL YES!

[Ocean1]

Tenuous - maybe... purely anecdotal I'll freely admit ... and correlation? HELL YES!

So, chicken or egg?

Helping cures? Or a (nominal) cure allows a capacity to help which... ?

[ManDownUnder]

So, chicken or egg?

Helping cures? Or a (nominal) cure allows a capacity to help which... ?

You need help before you are able to give it. I got help from a good friend, and now it's payback. I recognise some of the noises Kitty and AJ are making from various places I've been.

I can't say I was exactly there - I wasn't... but I passed close enough to know the general landscape.