Depression...

[Joni]

Viff - If you go to PD, there is a thread called the "Drivel Posts" - all posts that are moved without the thread are moved there.

[ManDownUnder]

I think this is the first time I have done this on a forum (and I am on many). It was just a measure of how angry I was, and perhaps it would've been more constructive to have said that instead, viz: "What you have said makes me feel very angry!"

Mental health seems to be up there with capital punishment and abortion as heated topics.

There are a variety of well reasoned, emotion based opinions and a simple mistake, making a bad choice of wording, can change a generic comment into something either is, or apears to be, accusatory.

It's very easy to do

Avoid the name calling, and stick to thoughts or facts. Pisstakes are REALLY out of place here too. We are talking about people's emotional wellbeing here - not so far from a life and death struggle for some - as a number have pointed out.

This is serious shit, but in a strange way I'm loving it. I have bog all experience of this stuff alongside you guys and gals... fucken hell - teach me

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

yes... meh... i just go with the flow... not much else to do at the moment.. ill let it sort itself out... but yes, i refuse to go to my doctor let alone getting medication heh... call it an irrational fear.. but yes.. i refuse unless im actually in dire need to go...

i dont shun people who do use medication though, its personal pref... by all means if someone thinks they need it then they should do it... but im not going to take anti-depressants especially because i knwo of things that they can do to someone ...

Yes I was like you once - until I watched my friend commit suicide so to speak 3 years ago 3 days ago. She came off her medication. Getting her on it in the first place was hard - but she certainly noticed how much happier she was on it. Then she moved cities, cdn't afford a Dr or meds - the rest is history.

I had to go on meds last year. I do have a chemical imbalance. Lack of serotonin - alot of my serotonin was killed off in my drinking years. Alcohol is good like that - don't touch the stuff now. At times we just don't know how bad we are! I was lucky a girlfriend took me in hand and I trust her so much I did as she asked.

Refusing to go to your Dr? - then find someone in the medical, or mental health field that you do feel comfortable with. Otherwise really you are choosing to stay in your depressed state, you actually don't want to do anything about it. Feel the fear and do it anyway. There is relief if you want it. I'm not dissing you but I know how I let pride, ego and stubborness get in my way. I thought I knew best - I knew jackshit. I had also listened to people who told me "don't go on meds" so I would go off them - CRASH - and each time it got worse - don't ever think the pain can't get worse - it can and DOES. I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy.
Then I would try and use my own willpower and mind - that didn't work - WHY cos depression does have a physical element to it. My mind cannot balance the chemicals in my brain.

[vifferman]

My mind cannot balance the chemicals in my brain.

You should have put that line in bold type.

I think this is what people who haven't been there/done that just don't understand. It's not always/entirely a case of "mind over matter", or positive thinking, or situational/behavioural causes. Depression can be (and often is) neurochemical in origin. Can you grow a missing limb back by positive thinking? Can you fix your liver by thinking happy thoughts? Does the power of the mind cure renal failure?

So what makes 'some people' (no name-calling here ) think that you can fix a malfunctioning brain (the most sophisitcated and fragile organ in the body) by hardening up / thinking the right way / "sorting your shit out"?

[MikeyG]

OK as per previous posts I have deleted my posts from this thread. This was because the shit slinging had started and I decided I didn't want my personal stuff on a public forum for all to see. That said I will still be reading and posting, I just won't be posting too much about deep personal experiences.

Below are a few extracts from the quotes that seemed to start the shit slinging. After thinking about these posts I want to rebutt some but I think there is a valid point that should be shared.

I will never agree that depression is a sickness.....I beleive it is self controlled.

Depression is an illness. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. That said there is a lot of debate over if the chemical imbalance comes from being depressed or causes depression. Either way once the imbalance is there you cannot just get rid of it through self control. If the imbalance comes from being depressed then self control could stop it forming, but only if you know your triggers and can work around them.

genuine "depression" sufferers don't tell the whole bloody world about their probs do they!

Genuine depression sufferers talk about their problems in therapy, including group therapy, and with their support groups. What we had here was a online support group that seemed to be working well.

That said I think I for one shared more than I would have if I had remembered I was posting on a public forum because I know there are a lot of people out there that just don't understand.

GET OVER THE WEAKNESS AND SORT YOUR SHIT OUT!

Harsh.....YES! true reality.....if ya stop looking for sympathy....you'l actually find you DONT BLOODY NEED ANY!!!!!!

I only wanted to say, that IMO, just about anyone that comes out with a statement like, "my depression is really getting me down at the moment", is playing on it, and should be left alone forever labelled as an attention seeker.
FFS people, stop hiding behind excuses, and bloody well step up! Life is for the living, and moping around thinking there is something wrong with you will not fuckin help a thing.

After giving these posts some thought I agree with some of it. I think with medication and therapy a depression sufferer can chose to just cruise along, getting through the day but making no effort to get better. A depression sufferer must make a choice to work hard to get better, because it is hard work. This would be a choice to sort your shit out. Having been there I know that once depressed one is in a vicious cycle and this is a very hard decision to truely make.

Sympathy for me was part of the cruising mentioned above and partially attention seeking. I have a friend I went to often for sympathy until she got fed up and told me she would still be there for me but would not be providing sympathy because it wasn't helping me move foward. Since then when I have had a problem and called her she has talked through it with me helping me to find why I am feeling that way and helping plan what I am going to do about it. Although this can be dissapointing when I just want some sympathy in the long run I think it is a better approach and I have found that it is this support that I needto get better, not sympathy. someone who says "my depression is really getting me down at the moment" could be seeking support or sympathy and so not all who say it should be labelled attention seekers.

Rant over. I hope you can understand it because I have had trouble putting some of it into words.

DISCLAIMER: All the above is my opinion only and should not be taken as fact. I welcome constructive criticism if you disagree with my post.

[MikeyG]

This is serious shit, but in a strange way I'm loving it. I have bog all experience of this stuff alongside you guys and gals... fucken hell - teach me

You must spread reputation around before .......

It's been said before but I am going to say it again.

With sentiments like that you MDU are a legend

[ManDownUnder]

With sentiments like that you MDU are a legend

Thanks but hand on heart - I'm just one of the people on the other side of the fence. I'm an outspoken one for sure, but just as a number of people have been surprised at the number of people genuinely suffering from depression - there are a similar number of people that are genuinely wanting to help.

The problem from my side is that "we" don't know about the problem, and we don't know who has it etc - because people with depression are unwilling to talk about it (the unwillingness being an unfortunate symptom of depression itself). So in a way, it's a problem that compounds itself by denying the sufferer access to support.

Bloody frustrating really.

[Kittyhawk]

Medication - if you go onto it stay onto it. If you are on it and think you are fine then stop taking it you do crash....and crash hard. If you think you can do it with out anything and there is a chemical imbalance then things wont work out. (been here tried this)

Therapy - Dont need it? or it didnt work? can you do it on your own? keep the options open, theres more than one counsellor, doctor, psycotherapist out there. Try others. Someone will click with you and it will start to work.
I thought I could do it on my own, Id' come right but crash again. Turns out I had more than just depression that I was fighting. But I had to try open up to a professional and Im now getting the results I want....

Lifestyle - exercise start once a week and gradually build it up. Take one type of junkfood out of your diet, and slowly work from there over the weeks.

Goals - set them work on them achieve them.

Only you can make yourself better.

As for our best friend alcamahol?? Steer clear of it. Anyone who uses this as an escape, or uses it to be happy or chill out into another zone, there is a high risk of becoming an alcoholic long term.

How do I know all this??? I've been there - still am. Im getting professional help. I really cant be stuffed living like this forever.... the lows come and go and are extreme.

Personally Im glad I seeked help. Best thing I ever did.

[ManDownUnder]

Personally Im glad I seeked help. Best thing I ever did.

Starting this thread wouldn't be that far behind...

[vifferman]

Rant over. I hope you can understand it because I have had trouble putting some of it into words.

I wouldn't have called that a rant - it was very well worded, and made a lot of sense. You also said some things I should've said.

[MikeyG]

Thanks but hand on heart - I'm just one of the people on the other side of the fence. I'm an outspoken one for sure, but just as a number of people have been surprised at the number of people genuinely suffering from depression - there are a similar number of people that are genuinely wanting to help.

You are the first person that I have come across who has been so outspoken in trying to understand and help so you are right up there in my book.

[mstriumph]

...............
Life aint always what you make it.....its "life that makes you!!!". I will never agree that depression is a sickness.....I beleive it is self controlled. .......:

isn't this contradictory?
i mean, either you make your life or it makes you
- if you believe that it's 'life that makes you' then you can't also believe that things are self-controlled
[to beleive they are self-controlled you would have been saying that life IS what you make it?] ..........

or mebbe you believe it's possible to have 'a bob each way' so to speak ...
which would tend not to gel with what you say about your being a 'black and white' person?

[Squeak the Rat]

Therapy - Dont need it? or it didnt work? can you do it on your own? keep the options open, theres more than one counsellor, doctor, psycotherapist out there. Try others. Someone will click with you and it will start to work.

A theory that is gaining weight is that psycotherapy can be counterproductive as it focuses on the bad stuff thats gone on in your life. If this works for you then that is excellent, keep at it. But if you've been put off because of this or other reasons then don't discount therapy altogether - as KH says, try someone else (like a clinical psychologist for example). Even a change of individual can make a huge difference.

If you feel nervous, or ashamed that you need to visit such a professional, well I can only say that I believe that anyone who's had the strength & guts to discuss this subject in here can easily overcome those feelings and make that step.

[MikeyG]

There are some good cognitive behavioural thery (CBT) courses on the net. While it is better to do CBT with a psychologist doing the online stuff first would let you know what you are in for. The first few sessions are normally talking and sending you home to do homework anyway so if you have done that part of it on the net you'll be saving yourself the cost of the first few sessions

[MyGSXF:Me]

I've popped in here from time to time & had a look.. & found that there have some great posts & helpful advice/comments.. & some dickheads too!

My life has been full of trials & tribulations, as those who know me are aware of. The greatest thing that I have found of benefit to me.. is LEARNING!

My journey over the past 4 1/2 years has at times, been almost debilitating, but in my darkness I found the strength somewhere down inside to seek help & support. I have done several great courses, read books & done 150 odd hours of personal counselling with an amazing counsellor, who taught me so much about myself & about life/people/behaviour etc. I have found that with learning, comes understanding of WHY things/people are like they are. With understanding comes choices. Choices to either.. stay stuck in the same old same old.. or the choice to change what isn't working.

I have a saying that I made up.. "learning is insight.. insight is knowledge.. knowledge is power.. & power, is choices"

When you get 'insight' into what is going on.. powerful things happen. Lightbulbs go on, understanding happens.. & just in those steps.. you can experience a huge change.. in yourself.. & your self esteem & belief in yourself can be hugely boosted, your inner core gains strength.. bit by bit.. you grow & become stronger.

People can have a HUGE effect on us.. they can tear us down so badly.. & they can build us up greatly. Learning can give us understanding of WHY we went for that person/partner in the first place.. & when you KNOW WHY you went 'there'.. you then have the power to choose differently next time!!

UNDERSTANDING of 'who you are' & 'where you come from' (original family).. & WHY things are like they are.. (old childhood woundings), can change your life.. it is hard work & ongoing.. but once you start your journey, things 'happen' & each next step in your growth is presented to you.. grab it with both hands & don't let go.. it WILL get better.. your life WILL get better.. you WILL change & grow, & become a better & stronger person.

It takes a shit load of courage & balls.. but by christ.. it's worth it!!!!!!!! I am sooooo thankfull for my journey..

A journey of 1000 miles, begins with a single step

my 5 cents worth..