Depression...

[XP@]

I've tried to communicate this to my kids, as it's stood me in good stead (whatever a 'stead' is). Trouble is, they think I'm OldAndStupidAndDon'tKnowAnything (they tell me this often enough).

All kids think this way, you probably did too... keep going it will be going in, it is just that these things take time ...

[Busy]

We have to fight the brain everyday.

Scared = fight or flight
It's a natural reaction the brain makes. When we are scared we sweat so as to cool the body off for when we run away from the enemy, the adrenlin pumps through the body as we fight the boogie man off.
This is just a couple of examples but the body has heaps of 'safety devices' on hand incase we need it.

Joni and others, it is NOT a disease, nor a disability, it's an incovience.
I buggered my knee up some years ago, ACC wanted to write me off as 7% disabled, I told them to stick the 7% because I was not disabled, just incovienced.
Thinking of it as a disease or a disability is negative and a dead end which basically tells the brain your doomed so why bother trying.
It's like riding a motorbike, if you look where you want to go you will go there, look or think of hitting that pot hole and you will.

Sometimes it is better not to think than to think - it's easier and more often than not more productive to glide than think.

[Joni]

Disclaimer: I am no doc, nor in the field

Joni and others, it is NOT a disease, nor a disability, it's an incovience.

I will leave it at that...

[vifferman]

Joni and others, it is NOT a disease, nor a disability, it's an incovience.

It's a piss off, that's what it is.
Speaking of which, it's time for me to piss off home. I'd better take some droooogs before I depart, as my brain has that horrible "I'm about to run out of ergs" feeling. I don't really want to crash the VifFerraRi on the way home...

[Busy]

Doh, missed that bit out, sorry Joni.

Medically it is a disease but just because one suffers does not mean it needs to be identified as one. It's a stigma, a label.
Just because there is a mental imbalance in someone doesnt mean they have to put up with being called mental or whatever, when really the person is mental, to a degree.

[slippery]

my understanding and experience is depression can be caused by events and isnt always just a case of toughen up. many people develop depression after some pretty heavy stuff. this can alter ones chemical balance and there is no toughen up to that. its like saying to someone who has any illness, just harden up. sometimes its impossible to do that. it can take a long time to reverse that as it can any illness. not an expert or advice, just a humble opinion.

my 2c.

[KATWYN]

I wonder what it actually MEANS to "HARDEN UP"??

The word gets thrown around but is there a definition to it?

[slippery]

perhaps to act staunch? is that the kiwi way still?

personally i dont like the sound of it.

[Busy]

from dictionary.reference.com

hard·en
–verb (used with object)
1. to make hard or harder: to harden steel.
2. to make pitiless or unfeeling: to harden one's heart.
3. to make rigid or unyielding; stiffen: The rigors of poverty hardened his personality.
4. to strengthen or confirm, esp. with reference to character, intentions, feelings, etc.; reinforce.
5. to make hardy, robust, or capable of endurance; toughen.
6. Military. to reinforce the structure of (a military or strategic installation) to protect it from nuclear bombardment.
–verb (used without object)
7. to become hard or harder.
8. to become pitiless or unfeeling.
9. to become rigid or unyielding; stiffen: His personality hardened over the years.
10. to become confirmed or strengthened: His resistance hardened.
11. to become inured or toughened: The troops hardened under constant fire.
12. Commerce. (of a market, prices, etc.)
a. to cease to fluctuate; firm: When the speculators withdrew from the market, the prices hardened.
b. to rise higher.


hard·en (här'dn)
v. hard·ened, hard·en·ing, hard·ens

v. tr.

1. To make hard or harder.
2. To enable to withstand physical or mental hardship.
3. To make unfeeling, unsympathetic, or callous: "To love love and not its meaning hardens the heart in monstrous ways" (Archibald MacLeish).
4. To make sharp, as in outline.
5. To protect (nuclear weapons) by surrounding with earth or concrete.

[RiderInBlack]

To overcome grief sometimes ya need to "Soften Down" not "Harden Up".

[DMNTD:Me]

To overcome grief sometimes ya need to "Soften Down" not "Harden Up".

Indeed Doug....I prefer the phrase FRONT UP....ie: attack!
Harden up indicates to me that you should harden up and not worry about it. Unsolved mysteries are dangerous.
Is you've got an "issue",read it,learn it...but then MOVE ON and don't dwell on it or it will take over if allowed to.
If a similar "issues" shows up in the future you're then better prepared to a) be able to read it; and b) be able to deal with it better.

[vifferman]

To protect (nuclear weapons) by surrounding with earth or concrete.

Yeah, that's it.
Then you can become this one:
Become unfeeling, unsympathetic, or callous: "To love love and not its meaning hardens the heart in monstrous ways" (Archibald MacLeish).

[ManDownUnder]

Doh, missed that bit out, sorry Joni.

Medically it is a disease but just because one suffers does not mean it needs to be identified as one. It's a stigma, a label.
Just because there is a mental imbalance in someone doesnt mean they have to put up with being called mental or whatever, when really the person is mental, to a degree.

To me all of that spells "Mental ilness" which carries a stigma. My point is this - it shouldn't. Physical illness does't - does it? Having the flu doesn't initiate choruses of "loser - why don't you just get well??" whereas mental illness seems to. Maybe it's because everyone can relate to the various physical ailments that commonly afflict us, or can derive a sense of what it must be like to have an arm or limb broken, sprained, grazed etc.

Something coming through loud and clear to me - in this thread - is a lack of comprehension and distinction between Clinical depression, and emotional depression.

This site helped me understand that (massive) distinction. The outward expression of depression is similar but the mechanics of it are completely and utterly different. It IS important to understandif you want to make qualified statements about it.


I've been doing a bit of reading on it, and the more I look, the more I realise I don't know... it's a big issue.

From that site
===
Depression is a serious medical condition that affects the mind and body. It is an illness, in the same way that diabetes, heart disease and cancer are illnesses. Depression is an illness that one in five people will suffer during their lifetime, the leading cause of alcoholism, drug abuse, and other addictions

Depression is not the same as a 'moody time'. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot "pull themselves together" and get better on their own. Without proper treatment, depressive symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years, and lead to other conditions.
===

[ManDownUnder]

I wonder what it actually MEANS to "HARDEN UP"??

The word gets thrown around but is there a definition to it?

To me - it means close down the emotions for a while - deal with the facts, get clinical and address whatever issue(s) in an emotionally distant state.

It's something that (generalising to hell here) guys do, and are somewhat expected to do during a stressful situation. An example I've used before... let's say a girl dies, and the parents are called into the morgue to ID the body.

If one parent is going to collapse emotionally which one is it going to be? If the other is going to not collapse emotionaly, but "harden up" and support them... which gender would that be?

It's not right or wrong - it's just the way we are, but I say that to back up my definition of hardening up. I'm sure there are situations in the military or other extreme risk/emotion activities where it's needed too. Sometimes done consciously, but mostly subconsciously to prevent someone being overwhelmed by the emotion of a situation... enabling them to function and survive.

EDIT - sorry... where I was going with that is this... "hardening up" is a defense mechanism - really useful to survive those times when it's needed. But if it's kicked in at the wrong times, it becomes a very powerful tool the brain can use to simply get out of dealing with anything emotional. And that's bad.

That emotional stuff stays there (trust me on this one...) and some time later it can resurface, and when it does - stand back. All hell can break loose - and often without apparent cause. I understand this is a common trigger for depression. Events from the past that have been "dealt with" resurface, grab you by the scruff of the neck and try to drown you.

Now - at that point the choice is yours, do you deal with the depression... or the cause... or both? I don't know enough about THAT question, and expect it needs to be addressed on a case by case basis.

[KATWYN]

That emotional stuff stays there (trust me on this one...) and some time later it can resurface, and when it does - stand back. All hell can break loose .

Really interesting feedback MDU, about survival mechanisms - so thats probably where that unfeeling "harden up "approach has probably come from??
and yet its probably more of a contradiction when you think about it. Maybe
hardening up helps someone EXIST but not actually LIVE. (if that makes sense)

I wonder if there is actually anyone that can say they have benefited (in the long run) by "hardening up".......