Depression...

[vifferman]

Viffer, maybe it is fixable? The answer is clouded by feeling so bad about it ....?

The friend thing, you mean? Apparently not.
I've tried to sort it, but been fobbed off with respect to the issue/circumstances, but told to "get professional help immediately".
Professional what?
I'm presuming that because I'm a one-dimensional character, that means "someone who makes money dealing with weirdos like you", but what if I've got it wrong?
What if I'm supposed to go and see a psychic? A professional card player?
A professional guppy sexer?

[KATWYN]

The friend thing, you mean? Apparently not.
I've tried to sort it, but been fobbed off with respect to the issue/circumstances, but told to "get professional help immediately".
Professional what?
I'm presuming that because I'm a one-dimensional character, that means "someone who makes money dealing with weirdos like you", but what if I've got it wrong?
What if I'm supposed to go and see a psychic? A professional card player?
A professional guppy sexer?

lol good point Viffer, maybe the friend might have some issues. Are you taking responsibility for their problems ? you did say you like to help people and fix things......just a thought

[vifferman]

lol good point Viffer, maybe the friend might have some issues. Are you taking responsibility for their problems ? you did say you like to help people and fix things......just a thought

Yeah, the friend does have issues, and I was being supportive. No, her problems are not my responsibility - I just helped where I could.
I think she just freaked out when she got a glimpse of just how fucked up I could be.

[007XX]

Lol. Love the fact you still have a sense of humour.Honnestly though, what's normal these days?

[Ocean1]

Lol. Love the fact you still have a sense of humour.Honnestly though, what's normal these days?

Please allow me to introduce myself...

[vifferman]

Lol. Love the fact you still have a sense of humour.Honnestly though, what's normal these days?

Shit - I'm not supposed to be funny! You just reminded me the drugs are wearing off...

It's strange, innit? The times when I'm most creative and say the funniest things are when I feel the absolute worst. (That's why ProfessorDoctorDrugPrescriber thought I was bipolar. WTF?!? I'm not magnetic, nor do I have white fur and a taste for seals...)

[007XX]

Eh Ocean1..How did I know you would answer to that one? haha

[007XX]

Viffer, I honnestly think you don't give yourself enough credit.

[deanohit]

I've suffered from depression for many years.I found it was a combination of factors but by changing some things I found that I feel alot better now.I have found my bike is a key instrument in gettin better.It's addictive.If something sets me off feelin depressed now,I ring my dad,tell him about whats wrong,then go for a quick ride.This combination often makes a huge difference to how I feel.

[KATWYN]

Yeah, the friend does have issues, and I was being supportive. No, her problems are not my responsibility - I just helped where I could.
I think she just freaked out when she got a glimpse of just how fucked up I could be.

Yet you don't freak out when faced with her issues........

[vifferman]

Yet you don't freak out when faced with her issues........perhaps the friendship is only one sided anyway?

I dunno, and that's what I wanted to find out: what freaked her out. I've known her for years, but only recently found out she had problems, whereas she's known about my mentalness for ages. Maybe she just thought I was sad, rather than a sad old git?

I've only ever cut one friend off, and that was reluctantly, and at my wife's behest (a small piece of ornately carved furniture brought out only on special occasions). I'd gone off the rails, and sojourned (a kind of hat) at his house for a few days. While I was there, he took me to a party, and despite knowing I was supposed to be on meds, encouraged me to get drunk (in between me babysitting his kids), take some hits from a bong (first time - I'm not into that) and then thought he'd better borrow some antidepressants to give me because I looked a bit the worse for wear. I was very ill, had nightmares for days, and my wife thought it was time I woke up to the fact he wasn't such a good friend after all, and associating with him was potentially bad for my well-being.

Kind of obvious in retrospect.

He was my best friend at high school (like the brother I never had), and the Best Man at my wedding. I 'rescued' him from a messy situation, gave him a home and a job, and yet he got married twice and never told me, and I hardly ever heard from him. I guess I wasn't cool enough, or something. At the time of the drug episode, he was living with a woman he'd got pregnant when married to someone else (his second wife). Neither of them could see that I was in a vulnerable situation and they hadn't looked after me as well as friends could be expected to.

I don't hold any ill feelings towards him (after several years, I no longer feel ill, and the vomit came off my shoes with some elbow grease I bought from a man with huge, hairy elbows), but since I last saw him, he's made no attempt to contact me, even though I used to work two blocks from his home. He's still a friend as far as I'm concerned; he made an error of judgment, as anyone can, and that's that. But I love my wife more than him, so I haven't contacted him either.

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

I have been physically sick lately with a stint in hospital. My first week back at work last week and it damned near killed me!! Financial woes, not enough sleep, massive weight gain with meds and steroids - recipe for sliding down the slippery slope. Having just started at the job - no sick leave for 6 months - boss came to work very sick and spread it round - I live on my own and have to support myself. Monday I started getting concerned about not being paid. I don't normally worry - trust that things will work out. However Tues morning I knew I was emotional. I had previously spoken to HR Manager - got no response either way. Went to head honcho.

That day I learnt the difference between negative thinking and gut instinct/intuition. My intuition was saying I have a bad feeling about this. The accusers would say I was negative thinking - bullshit. I know the difference.

"The rules are the rules". I was told. As far as I was concerned it wasn't a case of "swallowing pride". I said I am single and have to support myself - I would be in dire financial difficulty were I not to be paid (actually wanted to say shit but diplomacy won out). The fact that they are suppose to provide me with a healthy and safe working environment did not wash!!

I was told he would discuss it with so and so and get back to me later in the week!!! (Arsehole I thought). After a pedantic play of words it was decided that what I was seeking was to anticipate my sick leave. Well shit Einstein I thought - what a clever dick you are. As I advised him - if I left before the 6 months naturally I would pay it back.

Now this is the part that got me pissed off - altho he didn't know it. I happen to smoke. It is something I am working on but if you have any kind of intelligence - one will not be successful until one really wants to stop. I keep asking for the willingness to stop. Now I have managed to do this once before so know the drill. He started to lecture me. I so wanted to say "when I want your fkn opinion I will tell you it". "You sanctimonious old bastard - hypocritical one as he smokes as well - what gives you the right to judge me". I just said to him Thank you for sharing that.

The next issue I have is when you mention you are in or have financial difficulties - why do people automatically assume it is because you can't handle your money / you are incompetent? The fkn reason I'm in debt is because of a lying, thieving ex husband. Don't ever thing 50/50 in divorce cases - I came out in debt. Now I could have and in hindsight, should have, gone bankrupt - but I'm too fkn honest for that. So for the next 3-4 years I will be struggling. I don't drink, do drugs, and once a fortnite I go out for a $10-$15 meal. Smoking is the only vice I have. Hell if I wasn't so fat - prostitution would pay off my debt quicker - but can't quite bring myself to that lol. The weight thing is such a big issue for me as I have never been fat before and I vowed and declared I would not go thru what my mother and sisters have. My food plan which normally works wonders - is just not a happening thing. AND my bloody leathers are tight. Luxury problem in the big scheme of things really. I keep taking positive action, and am walking alot more - have to build up my energy after being so ill!

So I find out tomorrow whether I get paid or not - I have a good gut instinct now so I am trusting that.

During last week when I was feeling like shit - I went to the VMCC AGM cos I had volunteered to be a helper on the Actrix Series. They were discussing the position of Secretary for the Club - and I remember in my flu haze thinking - I can do Minutes of meetings, and paperwork. Next thing I know I was voted Secretary!! I woke up at 2.19am thinking did I dream that???

Oh well I needed a life! So rode to Taupo on Saturday - jeez it was cold. Worked all day Sunday - and thank god it finished early cos I was stuffed and had to ride home. I stopped alot cos I was tired and cold and wondered if I'd ever get home!! I had a wonderful weekend tho. Even sewed a lovely winter coat. Sorry for waffling. Anyway I am cutting down on the dreadful meds - ever so slowly. Will be monitoring it very carefully tho.

[KATWYN]

I read it all BMW

[buellbabe]

BMW... I can sympathise with the financial issues ( cos I got done over by my EX ) and the weight gain thing ( caused by meds ). My friend was on antidepressants ( to cure her of a P-addiction ) and went from a miniature size 6 to a total blimp. She looks like she is wearing a fat suit!
The antidepressants were supposed to make her feel better , instead she is totally bummed out cos she is now a heffalump!

Go figure!

[KATWYN]

The antidepressants were supposed to make her feel better , instead she is totally bummed out cos she is now a heffalump!

I've often wondered about that whole anti depressant and weight gain
contradiction! People go on them and gain huge amounts of weight.

The anti depressants may have fixed one problem but in the meantime they have created another !!