Depression...

[MyGSXF:Me]

I so need time out

Good on you for recognizing it & making plans towards achieving it Shirl!!

Taking time out for ourselves is the most important thing we can do for ourselves.. in my opinion! We do some much for other people, but we have to take care of ourselves too! I crashed a while ago.. exactly as you said.. shit was happening from every which way & for sooo long, & I just did not have a chance to try and get up - there was no energy left to fight. I thought the same thoughts.. christ a break would be good - just so I can build myself up and recover from the other shit.. so I can deal with the next load of shit!!

You've had a hell of a few months looking after your friend Shirl.. & he was blessed to have you there! You were a true friend right to the very end.. Ahu was a lucky man!

So now take some quiet time out for yourself, to rest, meditate & contemplate! Spend time near water.. lakes, river or ocean to recharge your batteries!

Ride your bike to refill your soul & above all, be gentle with yourself.. please don't push too hard physically.. emotional repair is exhausting on the body!

You have made some awesome choices.. (ie: not to have a drink) which shows your amazing strength.. hang onto that, you are stronger than you think you are!

Make use of the people here who support you.. they are gems! You are not alone Shirl! If you end up in the South.. give me a bell, there's always a bed here!

Take Care hun

Jen

[yungatart]

Shirl, you are an amazinglady, so strong and so caring. Good luck on your journey to find you again.
Always a bed here for you, but you know that anyway.
Much love and aroha

[Finn]

i'm depressed ........

Snap out of it.

[WolfCollared]

Winter - always brings out the sad

[vifferman]

Winter - always brings out the sad

That's S.A.D.

[WolfCollared]

That's S.A.D.

Stupid Auckland Drivers???

[vifferman]

Stupid Auckland Drivers???

Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Caused by insufficient Ultra Violence (i.e., "Snap out of that mood, or I'll give you a sound thrashing!")

[Hitcher]

Ultra Violence

Weren't they an early 80s crossover punk/glam rock band?

[buellbabe]

hahahahahaha

That was Ultravox (yeah yeah I know you knew that!)

Anyway I just thought I would check in and say that after reaching an all-time low (even lower than when my man died) last year I am now back in the game and life is good, infact its better than just good, its pretty bloody great.

Sure its not perfect but making it thru the crapola of 2008 made me a stronger person and for the first time in years I really feel like I have got my poos together. Its a good feeling.

So I hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel for others cos believe me life really is worth LIVING!

[vifferman]

I am now back in the game and life is good

That's great, Babe!
Especially that you're back in the game, and not back on the game.
Me? I'm still suboptimal (i.e., fukt) but I've learned to deal with it. Whenever my brain's really bad, I just take a very small amount of summat to mess with the serotonin, have a bit of UP and down, and I'm semi-suboptimal again.
The worst thing is not being able to think stuff through properly, and not having much motivation. I'm OK once I've started something, it's just getting started that's the problem.

[buellbabe]

That getting started thing can be so hard. I can relate to that. Its taken me a long time to realise that I can't be happy if I have 'unfinished business' in my life or if I keep putting off doing things I don't really want to do but know I need to do...
As a Pisces I have long lived my life by the motto "why do it today if you can put it off till tomorrow"...LOL

Anyways that was just causing stress and guilt so I now play this game with myself...no! not that kinda game!
Basically I promise myself rewards. Simple really...I know there is something I need to do but its a bit of a grind and I really can't get motivated to do it...hmmm I think to myself...I'd rather just go for a ride...so now when I'm in that situation I give myself a stern talking to and tell myself to EARN it.
Do the sucky job and then reward myself with a ride with friends or a few glasses of wine or a meal out or whatever... but NOT till I've done the task I have been putting off.

[RiderInBlack]

SAD is serous problem. My ex had it big time. The decrease in light causes a decrease in serotonin (too much makes ya Manic, too little depresses ya). Staying in side during Winter does not help. Find reasons to be outside during Winter and ya will have less SAD's. I have find fun things to do outside in Winter for me, so I no longer dread Winter. Therefore I don't sit in side as much. Therefore I don't have as much as a lowering in serotonin. Therefore SAD's does not effect me as bad during Winter. In saying this, I can still be depressed, but it has less to do with the time of the year.

[Finn]

Weren't they an early 80s crossover punk/glam rock band?

Oh Vienna!

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

Thanks Buellbabe for posting how much better it is for you. Even tho I'm not at that state it is good things get better for some people. I have been down the South Island and it had many challenges - however I guess my biggest downer was that I am not as well physically as I thought or want to be - the mind was willing the body didn't want to know lol. I came back for a scan that was tomorrow - to find they had postponed it, which fucks up my future plans - so they have gone down the gurgler for a while, trouble is it will upset other peoples plans as well. I just seem to be on a permanent low. Constantly banging myself against the brick wall - trying new and different ways etc but the result is the same shit. Anyway I go to the Doc tomorrow - so the poor bugger is going to get an earful. I'm past talking about this shit - sick to death of it - just as well I don't have a home at present - I would hibernate and hide under the blankets lol. Just totally fed up. Yes I certainly need to go somewhere where there is lots of sun and warmth - the South Island sure as hell doesn't have that.

[buellbabe]

Well I guess I hoped that my journey might help others see that the future can be brighter but I fully realise that everyones situation is different. BMW, I'm sorry to hear that you are being mucked around...and yep, I know that head against the brick wall feeling

The S.A.D. thing...jeez at the moment I find it hard to stay awake past 8.30 at night...my body clock is definately still in the adjustment stage...my brain is saying "its dark, time to curl up and go sleepybyes" LOL.

Last night a friend said that she might as well put her bike in storage cos its winter. My reaction was "why? its not like we live in the deep south...this is Auckland!!!! We can ride all year round. Just bite the bullet and invest in some decent winter riding gear...".

Being able to ride daily and also get outside with my dogs is a blessing.