Depression...

[007XX]

BMW...I hear you loud and clear. This sounds like me 10 years ago, with a young baby to boot. Now, obviously I am not trying to turn this into a competition, nor is it about me. I am blown away by how many have had the guts to admit to their troubles. I am completely new to the whole forum thing, so bear with me if I don't comply to some sacred rule of the aficicionados. Anyway, I've been thinking about Vifferman's dilemma and reading about BMW's situation, it only reinforces my thoughts on the subject.
10 years ago, and for 8 years thereafter, life was pretty much my worst ennemy. How did I come out of it? I got angry. Not angry as in "start to break stuff" angry, but more like " I've had enough of being down" angry. I found out what was making me feel like crap, and started to get rid of it (read here: ex husband/cretin). That took me about 6 months as he didn't want me to have my son. No generalisation, but some men are just born bastards.
Then, I realised that simple corny fact: you only live once. So, I became an adrenaline junky. Tried all sort of things I'd never done and scared the living bejesus out of me: snowboarding, dirtbike riding, kickboxing. Anything to stop my mind from diving back into that dark cave.
At the start, it is a bloody big effort, but then, you get addicted to the rush of adrenaline and endorphins, and that is so uch healthier for you than any drug prescribed by some mad scientist, testing guinea pig lover zealot.
Now, I'm not saying don't get medical support at the same time, but make changes, get back in control and get yourself some healthy scares every once in a while.
It doesn't hurt to try, does it?

[buellbabe]

Yep!... change comes from within...

[vifferman]

I've often wondered about that whole anti depressant and weight gain
contradiction! People go on them and gain huge amounts of weight.

The anti depressants may have fixed one problem but in the meantime they have created another !!

Part of it may be metabolic in origin, but generally what happens is that the drugs mess with part of your brain, and you eat more. The only drug that made me gain weight was Effexor (venlafaxine), and that was because I wanted to eat (and drink) all the time, while at the same time it sapped my motivation so I became a blob. Unfortunately, after a year of being on it, the eating habit has become a bit ingrained, but it's not compulsive and at least I exercise now. Still got a few hectares of rippling fat to shed though...
My son was on respiridone for a while, and while he was skinny before he went on it, and is skinny again now, he gained HEAPS of weight. Dunno (can't remember) why, but I was looking at photos of him from during that period and he looked bloated. And stoned.

[jester67]

Not sure if this has been covered but I have been "touched" by depression. My wife had a pretty major one back in 1997 and ended up off work for 18 months. She had an acute depression back then and spent time in psych wards etc - pretty full on time. She came right eventually and we thought it had gone away. The last 2 years have been pretty stressful for us and the old marriage has been teetering so after a bit of councelling and soul searching the lass has gone back on Aropax and another one in the evening to kick start things again. One week down the track and she feels like a fog is lifting...

The question has been raised before now "have I been depressed?" the answer? "probably" but chronic rather that acute.

I think it is the chronic that catches people out, it sneaks up on you slowly and then one day, out of interest, you do a questionnaire on depression and discover that you just ticked 8 of the 10 boxes...

[buellbabe]

GOD! What a great point you make about it creeping up on you.
When my partner died I didn't realise for some time what was wrong with me. I just chalked it up to grief.
Depression can be so hard to diagnose and thats why so many people out there are leading less than fulfilling lives...

[vifferman]

TGIF...
This has been an absolute arsehole of a week, mentalness-wise. Yesterday I had to go home at 2PM because I found everything really irritating at work, and didn't want to get into trouble for killing a workmate solely because he was eating almonds.
Last night I couldn't sleep and was VERY unhappy. Today I didn't get out of bed, then I did, then I decided I couldn't be bothered, then got up again and ended up going to work! And amazingly, I've had a pretty good day! I've had no meds of any kind (apart from caffeine), and despite my head feeling terrible, I'm pretty functional. I've even chatted and cracked jokes with workmates, and got some work done. And I'm looking forward to the weekend for a change!

But I still need to find a therapist/psychiatrist/pschologist. Why is it so hard? I don't want to go to another GP, nor do I want to go to my GP for a referral. I just want someone I can make an appointment with.

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

007XX - sure know the adrenalin junkie thing. Motocross, trail-riding, car rallying, 4-wheel driving, tandem paragliding, tandem parachuting, learnt to fly an aeroplane - I will not do bungy jumping. Still plenty to do. It's important to have things to look forward to / plan for etc. The worse place to be in is where you have no hope whatsoever - and things were as bad as they seemed!! What I love about this thread is "I'm not alone" people have described what I've experienced and always kept to myself!! What a relief!

[vifferman]

What I love about this thread is "I'm not alone" people have described what I've experienced and always kept to myself!! What a relief!

You should be alarmed, not relieved.
The insanity is obviously spreading.

[007XX]

What I love about this thread is "I'm not alone" people have described what I've experienced and always kept to myself!! What a relief![/QUOTE]

Most definitely! I'm normally a very private person and don't like to think or talk of the past, but then again, if my experience can help someone, then it's all worth it.

[buellbabe]

Vifferman... you don't need a referral to see a professional counsellor at Lifeline...they are so much more than a call centre.
I went 3 times a week for about 8 months to a counsellor at my local Lifeline, got me out of a very dark place. Cost? free if you genuinely ARE on the bones of yr arse or else its what you can afford.

And 07XX...with ya there... I am contributing to this thread cos I have been to hell and back and hope my experience can help someone else.

[Ocean1]

The insanity is obviously spreading.

It's the Martians, orbital cosmic rayguns y'know, have you tried the tinfoil hat thing?

Got anything planned for the weekend dude?

[007XX]

[QUOTE=Ocean1;1069143]It's the Martians, orbital cosmic rayguns y'know, have you tried the tinfoil hat thing?

Are we refering to the Mel Gibson version or the Charlie Sheen one?

But yes, good question Vifferman. What's your plans for this weekend?

[Krusti]

From the Docu that I watched last month I gleamed the following....

1) If you go to a Pyshco therapist and are not feeling better by 6 mths find another one. They are not working for you. Keep looking.

2) You are not likely to find a med that works for you straight away. Keep trying till you find one that does.

3) Don't stop taking meds as soon as you feel well. It takes time to build new neuron connections (think that's what they are called). Was likened to charging a battery, needs time to build up charge once charged.

4) One of the most noticeable signs of depression is waking early in the morning when normally you have not.

5) Taking ant depressents when you are not depressed will not make you 'happy' They only work if there is a problem.

This is not my advise but that which was shown in documentary.

My experiance is that there is a difference between SAD and DEPRESSED. We must be careful not to confuse the two. The price of happiness is that it is counter balanced by sadness. This is life and my personal experiance. I have had to learn the difference for myself.

Having said that, I know that depression is real and is a very scary place to get out of.

Personally when I have felt a little down B complex vitamins have helped.

As far as anti depressents go. If you have been diagnosed with depression don't stop till you get the help that makes you feel well and the first one probably won't work.

As far as my dealings with depression go, well another time eh?

krusti out.........

[Ocean1]

My experiance is that there is a difference between SAD and DEPRESSED. We must be careful not to confuse the two.

Good review dude.

Initial confusion re SAD... it's also an acronym for Seasonally Affected Disorder, which is most definitely associated with clinical depression.

Not tooo much of a problem in NZ but it's something to be aware of as we head into winter. It's a minor contributing factor for me but not normally hard to deal with. PM me if you want more...

[Krusti]

But wait there's more..............

To those of you who read this thread and think, 'what a bunch of weak spined losers' be very carefull. I place depression in the same category as motorcycle crashs, marriage breakups and other misfortunes.

It is very easy to sit back and look down on others misfortune but when you least expect it, expect it. The chances that you will be affected is very high. If not to yourself probably some one close to you.

I am very intolerant of other peoples intolerance. The one lesson I have learnt in life is that life will not go as you plan and it is not what happens but what you do about it that matters.

To those of you who get to the stage of, 'bugger this' get hold of me, hop on your bike and come visit. I suspect that by the time you get here you will probably only need a coffee and nothing else but a chat and understanding ear is still available.

krusti out this time........