www.motogpnews.com - hilarious

[Riff Raff]

Stumbled on this site yesterday and haven't laughed so much in ages (and WT damn near pissed himself).

www.motogpnews.com

Here's a preview if you need an incentive to check it out:

(31/01/2007)

Italian bike benders Ducati have proven that competent engineering and post-1992 computers mean nothing in MotoGP by amazingly securing four of the top five positions on the second day's test at Phillip Island.

"We showed them good" beamed a Ducati toilet inspector "Those Japs come over here with their laptop and metric spanners and then spout off about how they invented spaghetti. This is one in their noodle I can tell you!"

Making the result seem even more amazing than a 'Xaus seen with cracking bird' headline was the fact the fifth placed Duke was none other than Hofmann - a rider who until now seemed unlikely to finish fifth or better in a speedway race.

Bursting back into life for the second day running was Zombie Barros who brushed aside the rumours that yesterday's fastest time was down to a timing mishap involving 14 cans of Fosters and an unaligned boomerang. Barros, now estimated to be in his 400th season of re-living, improved on yesterday's time and was a third of a second, and a metre and a half, clear of Loris Capirossi in second.
Completing the Ducati podium was MotoGP's new clown of the gravel Casey Stoner.

The only small greasy spot on Ducati's tablecloth of success was the small greasy spot that is Dani 'lives in a boot' Pedrosa. Pedrosa, a rider lacking in height, smiles and personality, finished the day in fourth and was HRC's brightest star on yet another murky day.

Now if Suzuki's dream start ended yesterday then the start of their nightmares may well have begun today. Local haircut Vermin Vermeulen ended the day ninth of thirteen with his team-mate Hoppers, who was the star of Sepang, bringing up the arse end of the field even behind Shinya Tamada. Both Suzuki riders complained that their bike was a terrible colour.

[Maido]

Well done sniffing that out Riff Raff, that is solid gold!!!

[Fatjim]

Well worth joining up. Give the lad 5 of your miserable (well their's actually) pounds.

My favorite quote is

"the kind of guy who shows his family album to orphans"

[Toast]

haha, quite a good site.

A bit of French bashing from a different article:

http://www.motogpnews.com/home.php?pageid=774

[vifferman]

I can't believe youz guys weren't aware of this site.
You've missed out on some excellent items over the years...

[Devil]

Oh god, that's hilarious. Lots of reading to do!

[Ivan]

(19/10/2006)



To help MGPN readers come to terms with the full magnitude of the Hayden/Pedrosa spill we stolen Langdon Beano from GlobeBikes.net to give his unbiased view.
No Accident

By Langdon Beano

I still have yet to come to terms with what happened. When I saw it I just couldn't understand why anyone would do this to an American. I mean why? French yes. Middle-Eastern, hell yes! But an American?

I had to hit the open road on the GlobeBikes V-Rod. The sun was shining and God was giving us Americans another glorious day but my mind was elsewhere. But before I could even get to my first coffee break I was back home watching the crash over and over again on my DVD recorder. It was the Pearl Harbour of Estoril.

Now I'm no rider, but I certainly know how to steal other people's work and claim it's my own, so I'll cut and paste the feelings of all when I say that Pedrosa was reckless, stupid and even more stupid. But his dangerously simple actions took an M16 to Hayden's championship lead - a lead that Hayden deservedly built race on race whilst the other lesser riders squabbled and accidentally knocked each other off.

Having watched the tumble a few more times I came to the conclusion that Pedrosa's action was not just a simple mistake. When the Spaniard began to hit the braking zone he knew he would never make the corner, indeed judging from his body language he knew on the grid before the race that he'd never make 'that' corner. 'That' corner would have been any corner that had Hayden close in front of him. Any other rider who respected what us Americans are doing to eliminate terrorists around our world would have simply stood the bike up and headed for the gravel, and maybe suffered say an insignificant broken leg or something. But not Pedrosa. He AIMED his bike at Hayden to fell his team-mate.

Whenever I see riders fall my initial concern is for any American involved in the tumble. So you can imagine how I, like all of us, felt seeing this crash before I knew Nicky was okay.
But what's really telling was after the incident Pedrosa simply walked away. If he was any sort of man he'd admit that he'd ruined one man's and one nation's dream and gone over to apologise. Furthermore he should have helped Hayden fix his bike by replacing the broken parts with parts from his own machine. But did he? No.

This led me then to think why? Why would anyone do this on purpose to an American? The answer is Honda. They simply don't want to see an American win. Since day one Nicky's never had a fair crack of the whip with Honda yet has racked up a decent tally of performances non-the-less. Maybe the Japs are still mad about the war? I don't know and I'm not here to speculate all I know is that HRC would rather LOSE the championship to Yamaha than suffer the shame of having an American win. Hence the clutch.

I therefore believe that Dani was TOLD to knock Nicky off. And if Dani is a robot, which I believe he is, then he was downloaded with the latest 'Crashout XP' software to complete this task.

So what are the differences between Nicky Hayden and Dani Pedrosa? Basically Nicky would never do such a cowardly move because Nicky would always be chasing the title. Period.

Ends.