A mightily important poll

[KATWYN]

Hand (left and right)-

BTW where do you buy toilet paper?

[Hitcher]

Hand (left and right)-

BTW where do you buy toilet paper?

Left and right, or left or right? (so many choices!)

And I would have thought that like beer, you can't buy toilet paper, you can only rent it...

[KATWYN]

Left and right, or left or right? (so many choices!)

Haha Hitcher.

Hey that brings me to a topic about hand shakes, if I
knew how to do a poll I would do one on hand shakes
* goes and starts new thread *

[Ghost Lemur]

Folder all the way. And stay seated til bum is suffiecently clean that poo wont spread from check to check.

[scumdog]

Grip seat on both side VERY firmly, strain and rev up until there's a roaring noise in your ears, the veins are like purple electrical cord on your neck and you see sparks in your (frrmly shut) eyes, just when you feel you're about to pass out dtop the clutch and give a mighty rebel yell (scream if your from the North) and let rip.
Result? The whole shebang will evacuate from your bowels at warp factor 3, (and unless you've prepared a layer of "anti-splash" you'll get wet nether regions) it will swoop rownd the bend and out of sight (don't want to have to look at that shit eh!) and you will need the minumum of bush-lawyer leaves which should keep the greenies happy.
Northern yuppies that use that white stuff that comes in rolls - "toilet tissue" I believe? will notice there is tons left at the end of the week to use for better jobs like wiping dipsticks and neutralising shaving cuts (like Norman Gunston).

[wkid_one]

The is singularly the most disgusting thread we have had - BRAVO!

[V Twin Raver]

Definitely a scrunch and stand man.... You just cant get in there with a good fistfull of paper while sitting...

You people have got me in stitches reading some of this...........however.......in the method described above, what happens in the instance of a 'clingon'. You stand and your butt cheeks close up on it, or worse, it breaks loose upon dismount and lands on the floor???? I can see there being too much potential for disaster with this method.

Sorry for the resultant visualisations of my inquiry. :spudwhat:

[wkid_one]

You people have got me in stitches reading some of this...........however.......in the method described above, what happens in the instance of a 'clingon'. You stand and your butt cheeks close up on it, or worse, it breaks loose upon dismount and lands on the floor???? I can see there being too much potential for disaster with this method.

Sorry for the resultant visualisations of my inquiry. :spudwhat:

I didn't think it through that much? The extrapolate the idea - what if you Dehli Belly - you would risk it running in to your loafers! - or worse you could get some back of the sack action occuring?

Women apparently have to be very careful with the back to front wiping action (for the very obvious frontal access point proximity - yet I believe in the study - most men attacked the problem from the front - only reverting to the rear to make sure things were truly clean.

[Skyryder]

You are kidding that you stand to wipe yeah?

Maybe Toilet Paper should come with directions (like Tampons) - would it read like this:

1. Stand and face the toilet
2. Remove 4-5 sections of bog roll
3. Place one leg on cistern
4. Scrunch or Fold paper to suit
5. Wipe Arse
6. Dispose of Paper in toilet
7. Repeat steps 2 through 6 until sphincter is suitable clean

I just peed me self. No more Wikid please.

Skyryder

[jrandom]

The is singularly the most disgusting thread we have had - BRAVO!

(takes a bow)

[Skyryder]

What the hell are you using bush-lawyer leaves for?? Thats just plain sadistic!!! Can't you southerners grow rangiora?

Nope. Try Datura leaves. Gives your arse a halucogenic high.

Skyryder

[scumdog]

Nope. Try Datura leaves. Gives your arse a halucogenic high.

Skyryder

Just what this world needs - another arsehole strung out on drugs

[Firefight]

Just what this world needs - another arsehole strung out on drugs

please no more

this is too much


you guys are crack ups, opps , did I say that.

F/F

[scumdog]

Is sanitation technology a wee bit behind the times down south is it ?

You mean there's OTHER ways?

Don't worry about the wee bit behind - get the folding wrong and it's a bleeding behind you'll have!

[Hitcher]

You mean there's OTHER ways?

Don't worry about the wee bit behind - get the folding wrong and it's a bleeding behind you'll have!

You only get paper cuts if you use those glossy magazines... Something else to make your piles bleed...