Some cretinous mother fkr tried to steal my bike

[Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)]

But the mongrel didn't get away with it!! Thank God I had the steering lock on it - so the god-damned intellectually handicapped omeba just dropped the bike - probably to heavy for the little fkr anyway.

It was not a good nite!! The X-games are on here in Wellington and I'm directly opposite them - all these boy racers around until 3.30am in the morning - where were the bloody cops then!!

I dropped off to sleep around 5am, hell it was hot last nite, anyway I had set the alarm for 6.30am - to go to a market - just before it went off I heard all these footsteps next door - iron staircase, opened the bathroom window wide and leant out - all these cops were there (thank god I had a nitie on, even tho it didn't cover much - I looked down and my bike was on the ground - and yelled out ever so politely "Hey that's my fukin bike down there". Looked out the other window facing the road and one cop was chasing the little bastard - didn't catch him!!

Now I'd had no sleep - my life is that bike - managed to grab some shorts, put im on, ran back for a jacket - cdn't find me flamin keys - so left apartment unlocked - fair flew down the stairs - now here's me, in me black lace nitie and short shorts and I ran into a neighbour, he said he saw the guy and when he couldn't knick my bike he went upstairs and tried to steal a push bike - and he said hey that's not yours "Oh its me mate's - I'm borrowing" it. Bike was chained up - not too bright this native!! Then he did the runner. So I run out onto Oriental Parade and catch up with the cops who were on the 1st floor next door - Arms flailing, Oi that's my bike the fkn little bastard try to steal" "Yeah Love we'll be with ya shortly - we think he's in this building". By this time I'm beginning to feel the damp air and suddenly rememberd what I was wearing! Duh quickly put on jacket.

4 times the cop asked me "is this your bike" - do you own this bike? So it's your bike? And it is your bike? FFS

Anyway he helped me pick the bike up and said Hell this thing is heavy!! I was quite lucky not too much damage done!! Fking broken clutch lever that is brand new!! I had asked for an accessory one the bike shop said they weren't as well made - like bloody hell - this expensive one broke $134!!! The pannier rack saved the bike from more scratches, but there are a few new ones.

So tonite I will put the cover back on and spray cayenne pepper on it, so if any other retard tries the same trick - look out.

I said to the cops if you catch the guy - let me have him for 1 minute and I'll see justice is done - cos it sure won't be thru the so called judicial system.

Later in the morning I ran into Hitcher and his wife - who said charmingly "Didn't recognise you with ya clothes on" so had a bleat to him!!

But thank God I still have my bike - murder would have been committed if the cretin had successfuly stolen it!!

[fozz rock]

cut his balls off i say! with a spoon

[kadams]

to hear BMW I'm glad to hear the little bastard didnt manage to take the bike you have my condolences though. Did you manage to get a decent look at him so you'd recognise him if you saw 'im again? If so keep an eye out and you may find karma looks after you by running the little shit over
Take it easy and keep smiling, hopefully you can replace the clutch lever and find him to take it out on his hide

[Nasty]

Thank god he didn't get it ... and you did a good job chasing around .. even with a lace nightie on ... I am not sure I would cope with that ... I guess that is the problem with living in the city ... good luck with the pepper spray .. but don't forget about it in the morning

[McJim]

cut his balls off i say! with a spoon

Spoon? too quick - use a half brick...it'll hurt more.

[The Pastor]

At least you got to keep your bike....

[Hitcher]

Amoeba. Apparently they softly croon "Ich du liebe" to themselves.

Meanwhile out in Australia the kangaroos lay off butterfat and all french fries.

[Macktheknife]

Really pleased to hear you still have it BMW, and the bike! lol
Piano wire around the balls, hoist until feet just able to take weight on tiptoes, then encourage them to drink a lot of beer/spirits, beers better cause they will really need to piss.
Or you could just take a ball pein hammer to the feet, then the knees etc.

[Karma]

I had a nitie on, even tho it didn't cover much

...snip...

now here's me, in me black lace nitie and short shorts

Now I woulda paid to see a tall mad woman running around early in the morning with only her underwear on. Gimme some notice next time yeh.

[Meekey_Mouse]

Glad to hear you still have your bike

Kids today Gosh, I already sound like and oldy lol

[NhuanH]

Jandal upside the head for this liability to society!

[blackkatana]

Locked up, tied down, nothing is safe nowdays. Keep an eye and an ear on your gear. Buggers will have a go at anything!!!!

[u4ea]

geeeeez the little mungrel alright!!probably wouldnt know how to handle a bike that that anyway !!!!!

good outcome for ya tho......except for lack of sleep and clutch lever

[kro]

Sorry, I didn't get past the hot pants and black nightie part.

[Meanie]

Lets hope his crutch gets infested with a nestfull of fire ants
F****n little pricks why dont they go get a bloody job and buy there stuff like the rest of us have to. the worst part is we are more than likely paying his wage while he sleeps all day after his nights pilfering