What am I? Fly paper for freaks!

**Laava** · 19th February 2007, 21:02

Yep, funny Sniper! Fat people in the little car for me too!

**KLOWN** · 19th February 2007, 21:22

Originally Posted by Steam

I want to hear the one about the fat people in the little car!

second that motion

**Deviant Esq** · 19th February 2007, 22:58

We all say LOL but god damn how frustrating it can be. Nice to be in a position where you know it's you in the right, you're at the top, and you can say "fuck off" if it gets to that point. Such a long post from Sniper is so strange I had to read the whole thing just out of shock...

Fat people in small car... such a recipe for hilarity... let's hear that one next.

**heyjoe** · 19th February 2007, 23:46

A most entertaining set of stories Sniper.
Having worked in sales I have met some crazy people posing as customers so I know what its like.
You deserve an award or some cold ones for putting up with some of that shit.

**Sniper** · 20th February 2007, 08:10

This morning started off well. (I'll post up the others later in another long post.)

We had a booking due to go out last night at 1700. Not too bad except we close at 1700 and Im not the sort that enjoys sitting on my arse waiting for people when I could be out doing something else. Besides, my contract states I finish at 1700 (har bloody har). But it was a good booking, over a grand so I was willing to wait around for a wee bit after 1700 because the traffic had started earlier than usual anyway. So around 1720 I got a bit antsy and I closed the roller doors, went upstairs and told our reservations staff that if he rings, he is out of luck and to come back tomorrow. Then I left.

Anyway, I mentally prepare myself for the onslaught tomorrow morning on the drive home which is easy enough. I imagine myself telling the people we close at 1700 and I waited for 20mins and when they didnt show I left and them saying ok, sorry and going on their way. Oh how dreams plan out so well....

As I am pulling into the driveway at home I get a transferred call to my personal cellphone (I deliberatly left my work cell at work) whos number isnt known to the reservations staff for damn good reason. Guess who it is? Yes you are right, Mr and Mrs Tardy (Wow, scary Blues clues moment there) who are there now at 1746 (according the the clock on my now violated private cellphone) and they want their car because they have booked their accomodation 2 hours away and are not happy about no one being availible to give them a car. Which is cool, I could understand and almost had a wee bit of sympathy creep in a hidden side door of my concious mind before I squashed it like the sneaky emotion it is and nailed that blasted door shut. And then I explained we had opening hours and closing hours. And they are now 45 minutes late and its their own fault. We do not sit around waiting for people to do as they please. Then they told me that they were told not to come any earlier than 1700 when they booked the car. (Funny think I, I was the one that took the booking and told them we closed at 1700 and to be there before then. I remember, because they did say what happens if they were a bit late) So I told them they were lying to me and they knew it and their only option for a car was to come back tomorrow morning which they finally agreed to.

Roll on this morning when they walked in on the dot of 0800 (I had been here since 0700 as usual) and they start with the ," Bad service", "Rude people" ect ect which I let them have as that damn sympathy bug had managed to invade again or it could have been the lack of sleep from the previous night. And then I explained I was the one who took the booking, I told them we close at 1700 and if they had a problem with it... tough. Which they grudgenly accepted after I also informed them that we do not have to give him the car and we could sure use a spare car if he continued to argue with me.

Then there was a problem with the car. Apparently they booked a convertible, which was news to me as we dont hire them. Well according to him we advertise it on our website which is also news to me because when I last updated the site with vehicle types and rates I didnt add anything about convertibles. Well, they werent going anywhere without a convertible which was tough luck for them because not the sympathy bug had not only been squashed, I had nuked the little fucker and replaced him with some rather nasty something else. After explaining to them they must be seriously mistaken and to not interrupt me and also this was the only car they may drive away in and if its not to their liking, there is a large roller door they make make their way out of. They wanted to go have a coffee and decide what to do.

I had a free car for about 15 minutes before there was a hire put on it by reservations. I hope they enjoyed their coffee as they didnt seem happy when they walked back in and was told they no longer have a car.

**scumdog** · 20th February 2007, 08:18

I often wonder how people like that make their way through the rest of their lives!

**Karma** · 20th February 2007, 08:18

Spare car for 15minutes? I'm in the wrong business...

**Bloody Mad Woman (BMW)** · 20th February 2007, 08:33

That was hilarious, thanks for sharing - You deserve a medal - how do you keep a straight face, you would have to have the patience of a saint.
Definitely post some more please.

**Juud** · 20th February 2007, 08:54

Brilliant stories! more more!

**Cibby** · 20th February 2007, 08:58

hahahahha awesome next installment. next please

**N4CR** · 20th February 2007, 09:19

spanish police please!! that was an awesome story though keep em coming!

**Hans** · 20th February 2007, 09:23

I spent a while in "customer service" at one point and I found it extremely soothing if I could actually grossly insult the customer without them realising they had just been insulted. Works wonders for the old nerves it does...

**sunhuntin** · 20th February 2007, 09:34

lfao....toooo funny! love it!

ive got a mildly amusing fat man-small car story, though the fat man doesnt actually get involved.

one of our main customers is an account holder, and he is also a very wealthy man...owns a large trucking company. hes a very solid, round man, who holds the weight well due to his height. he normally drives a large 4x4. [like a rav4, but twice the size] hes a lovely guy, always friendly and ready to crack a joke.
on this occasion, he came in to fill up a relatives car...a small thing... like a suzuki or similar. 2 doors, and tiny.
as he was leaving, i went on to fill up another customers car. horrid bitch that she was started making comments in my ear. now...those that have seen me know im not the smallest person either. i very nearly clobbered this bitch, and didnt say a word the whole time she was there.
she looked a very well-off type. nice-ish car. but being rich doesnt always mean manners are included. he is easily twice as rich as she is, and 3 times as friendly and polite.
after she left, i thought "shoulda said hes my father...woulda shut her up!"

thankfully, she hasnt been back. i never told him about it either, but by god was i wild. none of her business what a person drives.