Secrets of a happy marriage

[Skyryder]

Ok guys one of us is going to "link the chain" so in the interests of maritial bliss what are your secrets to successful partnership. Here's two not neccesarily in this order

1 Finish the argument before going to bed." Much more fun making up.

2 Listen.

Skyryder

[James Deuce]

Ok guys one of us is going to "link the chain" so in the interests of maritial bliss what are your secrets to successful partnership. Here's two not neccesarily in this order

1 Finish the argument before going to bed." Much more fun making up.

2 Listen.

Skyryder

1. If there is a woman involved and you are male, there is only the illusion of an argument. You lost before it started fella. If you feel an argument coming on, suppress all emotion just like your dad taught you and nod meekly, ask how you can help, dodge the hurled iron, and slink off to the kitchen and do the dishes.

2. Rather than listen, master the illusion of listening. Make soothing agreeable noises, whilst reading the TAB form guide, Performance bikes, or a boating/fishing magazine. Make sure the reading material is within visual range but not occluding the face. Smile and nod a lot. Be aware of changes in the tone of voice so that you don't slip an inappropriate murmuring noise in.

3. Admit everything when challenged.

4. Mope for years on end until you are allowed to buy a bike again, and then stay out of her hair by going on rides and doing yard chores in a 1:1 ratio.

5. Never, ever, tell her she's wrong.

6. Her butt never looks big in anything. Never answer immediately when asked that question. Allow a largely undetectable micro pause so it doesn't seem like you are answering too quickly, but never ever pause more than 500ms. If you do you aren't going anywhere.

7. Always be polite to the Mother-in-law, even when she just drank your favourite bottle of single malt in a single swig, that you had been quietly supping on for years, and were expecting to for years to come.

8. Never Hi-5 your friends in front of her when you "Got Some".

[Blakamin]

9. tell her "of course the bike would look better in the lounge" when she complains she cant get the car in the garage

[KATWYN]

Allow a largely undetectable micro pause so it doesn't seem like you are answering too quickly, but never ever pause more than 500ms. ".

Hallalujah, you got that spot on. A pause IS NOT GOOD in this circumstance.

[FROSTY:Me]

I wouldn't have a clue -or I wouldn't be seperated.

[Ms Piggy]

Pass - happily divorced here

[FROSTY:Me]

actually Ill correct that.
My dad -married 42 years now told me this
Son you are starting out on the biggest and hardest job you will ever start.
Sometimes thats what it is son hard work
Sounds harsh but I think hes right -sometimes it is hard work --But well worth it

[toads]

remember why you fell in love with the person you married, keep remembering it , because if you forget, your sunk. You won't always feel in love and sometimes you will even hate their guts, so you need to keep looking for those qualities that attracted you to them in the first place. Somewhere under the cobwebs and dust that same old person is lurking, kids have a way of obscuring it at times. especially teenagers! cheers L

[greenhorn]

Agree whole heartedly with Toads.

Another trap for young players:

Your in a restaurant, or your having supper at home or something like that. You ask her if she wants some ice cream/desert cake or whatever. She says "no thanks". You say "are you sure?" She says "yes". You say "Are you sure your sure, because i'm going to get some for me and its easy as for me to just get you some too if you want" She says "Thanks sweetie but i dont want anything". You say "are you sure?". She says "no" in a slightly irritated tone that indicates that if you ask her one more time your heading for troubled territory.
You get up and get your self some, let say, cake. CUT AN EXTRA LARGE PIECE!
When you get back, sit down, ready to enjoy your cake, she WILL say...
"mmmm that looks nice, i'll just have some of yours".


DO NOT SAY "I asked you before if you wanted some and you said no..."
This is the wrong thing to say. It means you dont love her and your marriage will nearly be over with out some quick thinking on your part.

Just say "sure darling, here you go" because you remembered to take an extra large piece in the first place.

Can anyone explain this phenomenon? Why women only want something when they see you enjoying it?

[Hitcher]

1. If there is a woman involved and you are male, there is only the illusion of an argument. You lost before it started fella. If you feel an argument coming on, suppress all emotion just like your dad taught you and nod meekly, ask how you can help, dodge the hurled iron, and slink off to the kitchen and do the dishes.

2. Rather than listen, master the illusion of listening. Make soothing agreeable noises, whilst reading the TAB form guide, Performance bikes, or a boating/fishing magazine. Make sure the reading material is within visual range but not occluding the face. Smile and nod a lot. Be aware of changes in the tone of voice so that you don't slip an inappropriate murmuring noise in.

3. Admit everything when challenged.

4. Mope for years on end until you are allowed to buy a bike again, and then stay out of her hair by going on rides and doing yard chores in a 1:1 ratio.

5. Never, ever, tell her she's wrong.

6. Her butt never looks big in anything. Never answer immediately when asked that question. Allow a largely undetectable micro pause so it doesn't seem like you are answering too quickly, but never ever pause more than 500ms. If you do you aren't going anywhere.

7. Always be polite to the Mother-in-law, even when she just drank your favourite bottle of single malt in a single swig, that you had been quietly supping on for years, and were expecting to for years to come.

8. Never Hi-5 your friends in front of her when you "Got Some".

You da man!

[F5 Dave]

. . . Can anyone explain this phenomenon? Why women only want something when they see you enjoying it?

Why do cats only sit on the newspaper when you are reading it?

[vifferman]

Why do cats only sit on the newspaper when you are reading it?

That doesn't help, because it's not the same thing at all. A cat does this because no matter how cute and furry and friendly they try to appear to be (to get you off your guard), cats are all arseholes.

It's not that "women only want something when they see you enjoying it"; if that were the case, they'd automatically want to be in on all your motorcycling, beer-drinking, and other male domain activities, wouldn't they?
This probably falls into the area of a woman's right to change her mind.

Oh yeah - the secrets are The Three C's:
Communication
Compromise
She's always right (or at least, you must Convey that impression even if you know she's wrong).

Oh yeah - and the fourth C :
If you're in a long-term relationship with a woman, then you're always in trouble (this is actually a sub-clause of the third C).

(I've been mostly happily married for 22 years, and with my woman for 26.5, and I'm starting to get the hang of it now...)

[Mongoose]

Rule #(what ever we are upto) Be yourself from the start so no false expectations are created.

[pete376403]

Expect a bit of noise from time to time. This is true for all males, regardless of species

[Devil]

My point of view.
At the start of the relationship you need to set some expectations.
Things like:
1) I will never be whipped.
2) Guilt Trips are NOT acceptable
3) Arguing about the toilet seat is stupid.
4) I will not pander to peoples insecurities.
5) I will not take emotional bullshit.

If you let them (works either way here, male or female) think that some of the things above are ok, then you're heading for a tank slapper

Then of course, during the relationship you need to be able to:
Communicate
Compromise
Share
Respect