The Skunk

[dasser]

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car.
There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"
He says, "O.K., Get in the car with it."
"Where shall I put it to get it warm?" she asked.
He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there."
She replied, "But what about the smell?"
He says, "Just hold its nose."

The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.

[Skunk]

Have you got their address? That was one of my litter that went missing...

[bistard]

Have you got their address? That was one of my litter that went missing...

Round them all up Skunk & dont let them out again!!

[Skunk]

Nah, it's one less mouth to feed.

[MSTRS:Me]

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all
matted down. We felt sorry for her, put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her, so we named her "Pussycat."
The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could come and get her.
My husband (the complainer) said, "OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks."
He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him. My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye.
The vet calls my husband 'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the vet 'El-Charge-O'.
They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another, with my husband getting in the last word on this particular
occasion.
The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is located in the same building, next door to the vet. The MD's waiting
room and office was full of people waiting to see the doctor.
A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my husband arrive. He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said,
"Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more and it's finally clean and shaved, so she now smells like a rose. Oh, and, by the way, I think
she's pregnant. God only knows who the father is!"
Then he closed the door.