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Thread: Sex Facts

  1. #1
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    Sex Facts

    Rough Sex Facts...I didn't want to risk not posting it!!

    Giving .........head....... massages the jaw....while burning 32 calories.

    Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth

    The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.

    Having nice sex burns 358 calories.

    Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.

    Take off her clothes
    with her consent.........................12 cal
    without......................187 cal

    Take off her Bra
    With two hands..........................8 cal
    With one hand.........................12 cal
    With mouth.............................85 cal

    Put on Protection
    hard .......................... 6 cal
    soft..........................315 cal

    Foreplay
    Looking for target...................8 cal
    Finding G spot ......................92 cal
    I don't F***ing care.....................0 cal

    Entry
    Holding her..................12 cal
    On the floor.................8 cal

    With Different Position
    Missionary..........................358 cal
    Doggy...........................316 cal
    69 lying...............................286 cal
    69 standing.............................512 cal
    Italian hanger.........................912 cal

    ######
    Real................................112 cal
    Faking................................315 cal

    After "O"
    Lying in Bed............................18 cal
    Hop off the bed............................36 cal
    Wondering why she left pissed off...........816 cal

    Get dressed
    Quiet and calm...........................32 cal
    Rushing.........................98 cal
    Heard her boyfriend opening the door.............1218 cal
    Heard her dad at the door.............1942 cal
    Her mom walking in..............................Priceless!!!LOL
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  2. #2
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    lol.. orsum..
    I'm aiming to be stick thin before the end of summer..

  3. #3
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    yOU ALREADY ARE BUGGY - GET YOUR HAND OFF IT!
    They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old.
    Age shall not weary them nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the evening,
    we will remember them

  4. #4
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by bugjuice View Post
    lol.. orsum..
    I'm aiming to be stick thin before the end of summer..
    yeah - AIDs will do that...

  6. #6
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    Reminds me. I need to buy more pineapple juice.
    The real mystery is how come that fat bastard Hurley has never lost any weight.

  7. #7
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    I know I am expressing my ignorance here but, what exactly is an Italian Hanger?????

    "If you can't laugh at yourself, you're just not paying attention!"
    "There is no limit to dumb."

    "Resolve to live with all your might while you do live, and as you shall wish you had done ten thousand years hence."

  8. #8
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    Blah

    Quote Originally Posted by Macktheknife View Post
    I know I am expressing my ignorance here but, what exactly is an Italian Hanger?????
    Need i say anymore?

    "Sex Instructor - First lesson FREE"
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    "Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary - that's what gets you."
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco Dan View Post
    Need i say anymore?

    "Sex Instructor - First lesson FREE"
    err yes... I'm guessing it's one of the pics... y'know - the ones without labels...?
    $2,000 cash if you find a buyer for my house, kumeuhouseforsale@straightshooters.co.nz for details

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by ManDownUnder View Post
    err yes... I'm guessing it's one of the pics... y'know - the ones without labels...?
    you wanna know my bank pin number too? lol

    ...yeah maybe nothing comes for free

    PM me for first lesson folks

    bwahahahaha!
    "Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary - that's what gets you."
    Jeremy Clarkson.

    Kawasaki 200mph Club

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco Dan View Post
    you wanna know my bank pin number too? lol

    ...yeah maybe nothing comes for free

    PM me for first lesson folks

    bwahahahaha!
    You might want to specify if you are teaching men or women. If its men - dude, that's just gross. If it's women - then what exactly do you know about "being the woman"? Second thoughts, please dont share that with the class.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disco Dan View Post
    nothing comes for free
    LOL - but some of us are cheaper than others... n'est pas?
    $2,000 cash if you find a buyer for my house, kumeuhouseforsale@straightshooters.co.nz for details

  13. #13
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    ripped off from another site:

    There is an e-mail going around the internet that says that of all the sex positions the Italian Chandelier (AKA Italian Hanger) burns the most calories. Here is a 'supposed' list of the positions and how many calories they burn:

    Positions
    Missionary 12 Calories
    69 lying down 78 Calories
    69 standing up 112 Calories
    Wheelbarrow 216 Calories
    Doggy Style 326 Calories
    Italian Chandelier 912 Calories


    This must be a list for women only because missionary only burns 12 calories. Anyway, in this position the female definitely is a busy person. She lies on her partner (facing upward) and arches her back to allow penetration. Then she has to do a crab-like back-bendy motion to get the motion going.

    I don't know if you will really burn 912 calories but young Italian women always look great on TV despite the fact that they eat a lot of sausage (salcissa).

  14. #14
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    altho' the urban dictionary has a different definition:
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...italian+hanger

  15. #15
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    and people say you should work out

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