Help: Contract for parents and teenagers

**CookMySock** · 12th April 2008, 09:10

I need some help with this.

I got a 14 yearold young fella, turning 15 next month. Like you I expect, I am keen to have him ride a bike on the road. Also like you, I expect, I cannot face the likelyhood of him getting killed or seriously injured. He IS a responsible chap, but the rules on this must be made clear, and consequences agreed upon.

Yesterday, I see some 15 y/o boy killed on the road, and this isn't going to happen on my watch.

So some agreement has to be reached regarding behaviour on the bike, where and how it will be used, and the law etc.

Has anyone actually drawn up a written contract between them and their kid ? If so, can I see a copy ?

If not, can this thread be a starting point for such a document ? It shouldn't insult his intelligence or threaten him - more it should be an agreement between all parties, outlining the real reasons for the need for such a thing.

If you disagree with me fundamentally on this, please PM me or post elsewhere, rather than ranting and splintering this thread. ta.

Many thanks,
Steve

**ArcherWC** · 12th April 2008, 09:18

Hmmm I am in exactly the same boat, this will be interesting to see

**Katman** · 12th April 2008, 09:20

Make him sit down and read all my posts.

(Well - maybe not all of them).

**Big Dave** · 12th April 2008, 09:23

IMO It won't work.

You have to give him the best advice, make aware of the implications and danger, let him decide for himself if he wants to ride or not - not just because 'you'd like to see it' - and then let him live his own life.

If he's not ready for it then don't come up with the $.

**ArcherWC** · 12th April 2008, 09:24

Originally Posted by Katman

Make him sit down and read all my posts.

(Well - maybe not all of them).

I would rather he had a balanced aproach to riding thank you.
I will be putting him on the track for sure.

**JimO** · 12th April 2008, 09:33

i am in your boat in fact im rowing out to sea in it my almost 16 year old twins both are riding on their learners both are good level headed and responsible boys and arnt stupid they know the risks and have had all the lectures but it didnt stop one of them being bowled by a old geezer going through a comp stop, if they respect you they will respect your wishes regarding their riding

**DMNTD:Me** · 12th April 2008, 09:43

Originally Posted by ArcherWC

Hmmm I am in exactly the same boat, this will be interesting to see

I believe that the boat is becoming quite full then. My soon to be 15y/o Daughter (un)fortunately wants to ride bikes like her dad. Gives me the shits tbh...double standards??
However she has also seen me a bit broken after a couple of accidents last year so knows how dangerous it can be so a reality check has already been instilled in her.
Re a contract though....well I have told her that if she was ever spotted riding or driving in a stupid way that all privileges would be removed immediately and not just driving/riding ones too.
Support has to be the best approach and sometimes it can be better coming from a non parent.

**yungatart** · 12th April 2008, 09:44

hXc started riding on the road a couple of days after his 15th birthday. We told him what we expected of him as far as his behaviour was concerned and the consequences for dickhead behavoiur were the loss of his bike for a time, dependent on the offence.
Mstrs did lots of rides with him and he was encouraged to ride with the HB KB group where he was mentored and kept an eye on. Those guys are good role models.
We had no formal written contract with him and we have had few, if any, problems.
My advice, FWIW, is to talk to your young fella lots, make clear your expectations, have logical consequences for breaking the rules (and follow through with them if you have to), ride with him as much as you can and be a good role model. it is lots of fun riding with your kids and can be great for your relationship.
Good luck to both of you.

**PrincessBandit** · 12th April 2008, 09:44

We haven't drawn up a contract with Ripper Roo92 regarding the motorbike (have done about chores and suchlike before, but that's a tad off-topic here!). I ride with him a lot, mainly him behind me to watch and learn; but lately I've started letting him lead so that I can observe his initiative. I make periodic stops to discuss things I've noticed with him so that it's relatively fresh in his mind. He has made a couple of dodgy moves which we've had big talks about, without me erupting (like I wanted to!!). He responds well to personal interaction, but tends to "forget" what's in a contract

if previous ones are anything to go by.

**yungatart** · 12th April 2008, 09:46

BTW, DMNTD and DB, we have a perfect learner bike here in the form of hXc's trusty Spada. It is for sale to a good home....PM me for details...

**Coyote** · 12th April 2008, 10:00

Get him on the race track so any desire to go fast will be released there.

Worked for me. And now I'm not able to race, I've sped up on the road...

**Bikernereid** · 12th April 2008, 10:06

I think it is an excellent idea. I have done a similar thing in another situation and both parties drafted thier own contract before presenting it to the other party. A discussion followed whereby each person explained the rationale for each item and the other party could then reply.

If you allow your son the opportunity to participate on an equal footing I think that you will show him that you respect him and that you believe he is sensible enough to realise what the consequences of his actions may be. By doing this hopefully he will take the task seriously and will respect what you have to suggest as well and may be more willing to reach an agreement with you as to when he rides his bike etc.

Hope all goes well, wish this had happened with ym mother instead of her banning me out right and me resenting and hating her for it for years.

**blacksheep** · 12th April 2008, 10:08

Originally Posted by PrincessBandit

We haven't drawn up a contract with Ripper Roo92 regarding the motorbike (have done about chores and suchlike before, but that's a tad off-topic here!). I ride with him a lot, mainly him behind me to watch and learn; but lately I've started letting him lead so that I can observe his initiative. I make periodic stops to discuss things I've noticed with him so that it's relatively fresh in his mind. He has made a couple of dodgy moves which we've had big talks about, without me erupting (like I wanted to!!). He responds well to personal interaction, but tends to "forget" what's in a contract

if previous ones are anything to go by.

i've found that doing exactly what you have done with my two boys has taught them a lot more than just letting them go out by themselves and learning the hard way,at the end of the day however its up to them,you can't keep your eye on them forever and there has to be a level of trust by both parties to gain mutual respect

**scracha** · 12th April 2008, 10:26

Originally Posted by DMNTD

I believe that the boat is becoming quite full then. My soon to be 15y/o Daughter (un)fortunately wants to ride bikes like her dad. Gives me the shits tbh...double standards??
However she has also seen me a bit broken after a couple of accidents last year so knows how dangerous it can be so a reality check has already been instilled in her.
Re a contract though....well I have told her that if she was ever spotted riding or driving in a stupid way that all privileges would be removed immediately and not just driving/riding ones too.
Support has to be the best approach and sometimes it can be better coming from a non parent.

Tell her to wait till she's 16 Chris. There'll be kiwibikers queuing up to give her riding lessons.. GD&RFC