An excuse for all the speeders

[spudchucka]

I found this on another forum and thought it was good enough to post here. It won't work for bikers though.

A speeding driver is pulled over by the police ...

PC : "May I see your driver's license, Sir ?"

Driver : "I haven't got one. I've been banned for drink driving."

PC : "Do you have the vehicle registration documents on you ?"

Driver : "It's not my car. I stole it."

PC : "You've stolen the car ?"

Driver : "Yes. But I think the documents are in the glove box. I think I saw them there when I was putting my gun away."

PC : "There's a gun in the glove box ?"

Driver : "Yes. That's where I put it after I shot the woman who owns**the car."

Cop : "You shot the owner ?"

Driver : "Yes. I've got her body stuffed in the boot."

PC : "You've got a body in the boot ?"

Driver : "Yes. Sorry."

The PC is a bit worried about the situation, calls his station, and an Armed Response Unit along with a Sergeant is immediately dispatched.

Surrounded by armed police, the Sergeant nervously approaches the car and talks to the driver ...

Sergeant : "Can I see your license, Sir ?"

Driver : "Sure. Here it is."

The driver hands over his licence which is clean of points.

Sergeant : "Who does this car belong to Sir ?"

Driver : "It's mine, officer. Here's the registration document."

The driver hands over his registration documents which show he is the owner of the car.

Sergeant : "Could you slowly open your glove box. I believe you have a gun in there ?"

Driver : "A gun ? No, there's no gun in there."

The driver opens the glove box, which is completely empty.

Sergeant : "Would you mind getting out of the car, and opening
the boot please ?"

Driver : "No problem."

The driver gets out, opens the boot which, like the glove box is completely empty.

Sergeant : "I'm sorry Sir; I don't understand. The officer who stopped you said you didn't have a licence, had stolen the car, were carrying a gun, and had shot a woman, whose body you'd dumped in the boot ?"

Driver : "I suppose the lying bastard told you I was speeding as well ?"

[Mongoose]

Would it work with a top box spud?

[Skyryder]

Oh I don't know. Perhaps with a kiwi varient something along these lines

A speeding biker is pulled over by the police

PC “Show us ya licence sony.”

Biker. “Aw shit ummm err umm I don’t have one.”

PC “Is the bike yours?”

Biker. “Not yet. It’s the downer for a drug deal. Like man if the smack’s not sweet. Ya get ma drift.”

PC “Are you carrying drugs?”

Biker. “Yes sir. Got me a piece too under ma leathars too.”



The PC is abit bit worried about all this and calls for the armed response unit and his Seargent.

The seargent nevouly approaches the biker.

Sarg. “Can I see your licences?”

Biker “Sure here it is.”

The biker hands over his licence and the photo ID matches the biker

Sarg. “Is this you bike.”

Biker “Sure is no mother fucker going ride my ride.”

Sarg checks reg Number and bike owner matches name on licences

Sarge. “Raise your hands while I carry out a boody search for a concealed weapon.”

Biker agrees and no weapon is found.

The drug dogs are out of the van having a sniff about but do not locate any drugs’

Sarge I’m sorry I don’t understand. The officer who stopped you for speeding said you were running drugs, the bike is downpayment for the deal, and that you were carrying a concealed weapon.

Biker I suppose the lying bastard said I was speeding too?”


Then again might be easier just to admit and paythe fine

Skyryder

[Coldkiwi]

hehe, I like your style spud!

[750Y]

or how about...
PC: good eveining sir, Do You have any explanation as to why You were travelling at 147kph?
R1 Rider: "cos my bike was stuck in 1st gear"

[Cajun]

or how about...
PC: good eveining sir, Do You have any explanation as to why You were travelling at 147kph?
R1 Rider: "cos my bike was stuck in 1st gear"

hahahahah zx10r does 160kph in first dc:<