Being a Kiwi is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a
Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish
kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
Only in N.Z. ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.
Only in N.Z. ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way
to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people
buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in N.Z. ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries
and a DIET coke.
Only in N.Z. ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
to the counters.
Only in N.Z. ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the
drive and & lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in N.Z. ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we
didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in N.Z. ... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Kiwis die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
tongue.
38 Kiwis are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.
31 Kiwis have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree
while the fairy lights were plugged in.
8 Kiwis had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Kiwis were admitted to emergency in the last two
Years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
and finally.....
In 2000 eight Kiwis cracked their skull whilst throwing up in the
toilet
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