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Thread: Two-stroke torture

  1. #1
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    17th June 2005 - 11:12
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    Two-stroke torture

    wrrr wrrr wrrr rrrrrrrr rmmmmrmmmrmmmmrmmmrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRR wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrr klunk wrrrr wrrrr wrrr

    Why oh why do people inflict such torture on their chainsaws?

    I spent half an hour with the file this morning sharpening my chainsaw prior to my wifes first chainsaw lesson (she really hated that picnic table, and asked me to chop it up, but I said it would be better therapy if she did it herself.)

    while I was filing away, all over the neighbourhood I could hear the sounds of the chainsaw death march, it sounds soooo painful, how can they stand it.
    I bet those same chainsaws are hard to start "pieces of shit, I'll never buy another one of these" type ones when all they need is a sharpen and some decent bar lube, along with a clip around the ear for the operator, and some instructions

    keep your chain sharp (a file and guide is only like 12 bux)
    never touch the ground
    if you haven't got any bar oil don't even bother starting it
    treat it to a new spark plug every so often
    if its struggling then theres something wrong
    WEAR SOME FUCKING EARMUFFS

    heres what a chainsaw should sound like in your neighbours back yard

    rrrrRRRRRRRRRRRmmm rrrrr RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRmmmmmm

    notice the nice clean revving, no bogging down?

    or you could get one of these



    end rant
    Yes I know my enemies
    They're the teachers who taught me to fight me....

  2. #2
    Join Date
    3rd October 2004 - 17:35
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    6,390
    lol 2 man chainsaw lol.
    Then I could get a Kb Tshirt, move to Timaru and become a full time crossdressing faggot

  3. #3
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    18th October 2005 - 17:11
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    That chainsaw is epic, I love it.
    Homer you shot the zombie Flanders !
    He was a Zombie?

  4. #4
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    23rd November 2003 - 21:16
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    The <400lb preditor, that was made in 2001 by "rotax robert". Takes a couple of days to make the chain for that saw, all hand ground link by link then assembled. It covers 18,000 feet per minute or 200mph when cutting. Hes a good guy, real funny but a mad man when it comes to making saws and running monster saws.

    You forgot the other important saw rules

    Only use them if they have a working brake, catcher, rear hand shield, anti vibe and a saw mitt. (saw mitts save lives, lots of them every year)

    Always wear steel caps and chaps or chainsaw pants and a hardhat with muffs.

    Get a proper lesson in using them, your mate learned from his mate who learned from his dad, who taught his mate who taught his brother who showed his brother in law and they ALL KNOW FUCK ALL.

    Dont get me wrong, Ive got 20 or so chainsaws but every one of them eats wood all day and is begging to know what I taste like.
    I WILL GIVE ANYONE FREE LESSONS HOW TO USE A SAW IF THEY WANT TO LEARN PROPERLY. Wont be the several days you need to learn the basics but will improve your survivability. Check these lighter off throttle cuts out before letting your missus have a go.
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  5. #5
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    23rd November 2003 - 21:16
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    the reason saws wont start generally is because of old fuel in them or that old fuel was left in them that screws the carbs. empty them out after use. Put fresh fuel in and youl be fine. Dont use waste oil for the chain lube, use bar lube, heavier grade engine oil or you can use vegtable oil if you want but after 40 or so hours use they need a clean out.

    Some of my saws I have been using for 6 years and I have never had to replace a sparkplug.

  6. #6
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    24th June 2003 - 17:19
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    Ive got a Stihl something rather...large bastard. However when I cut a log and button off it takes like 20secs untill it idles and the chain stops running...any advice?
    1990 GSXR 750 - want one, can be crap, can be awesome....pm me.

  7. #7
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    24th September 2006 - 02:00
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    Quote Originally Posted by kneescraper View Post
    Ive got a Stihl something rather...large bastard. However when I cut a log and button off it takes like 20secs untill it idles and the chain stops running...any advice?
    Well, treat it like a motorcycle. Sounds like carburettion to me. Check the mixture is set right; I read somebody mentioning something about this on their bike, it turned out to be the float height. Don't know if that's applicable.

  8. #8
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    24th June 2003 - 17:19
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    Ok man, taa. I just got it serviced and it came back like that so I might take it back...
    1990 GSXR 750 - want one, can be crap, can be awesome....pm me.

  9. #9
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    23rd November 2003 - 21:16
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    Which stihl do you have? Some have "typical" problems.
    Firstly try to lower the idle slightly once its warmed up, there are 3 carb screws on the RHS of the saw, one marked H, one L and the third controls the idle. Sometimes saws run differently once they warm up, so keep that in mind.
    One thing that can also contribute to chain running is the chain being to loose. Although if your clutch springs are getting tired it can cause the chain to engage when it would otherwise not be.
    If the saw is really erratic on idle (ie idles fine then picks up a thousand rpm by itself), then its probably an air leak, often something like a hole in the pulse line so small you cant even see it.

    Good luck!

  10. #10
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    24th June 2003 - 17:19
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    Not sure of the model, I will look tomorrow..its a oldie, huge bar on it. I used it the other day to fell a tree and it would run very well but once I button off the revs would stay up for a while then drop down and idle normal. I will have a play.
    1990 GSXR 750 - want one, can be crap, can be awesome....pm me.

  11. #11
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    22nd July 2006 - 11:59
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    Oooh chainsaws... everytime I read chainsaw or hear about them, I think "Ash!" from the evil dead series... chainsaw for an arm, sugar from a babe and it's giving the learn to some baddies!

    Shop smart... shop S-mart!

    Actually this is quite an interesting thread ... I may be one day inclined to add a chainsaw attachment to my RZ250...
    "I like to ride anyplace, anywhere, any time, any way!"

  12. #12
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    25th January 2007 - 10:06
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    gimme some sugar baby!!!!
    F M S

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