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Thread: Behind-the-scenes PMCC

  1. #1
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    Behind-the-scenes PMCC

    After the success of my Gladstone Cliffhanger expose (i.e. a couple of people read it), I thought I'd do another one. This time Australian motojournalists flocked elsewhere in droves - a shame really as with so much time between bikes actually getting on the track there were plenty of opportunities to get the inside scoop on the riders.

    As chief pit bitch for White Trash and with our strategic pit placement (next to the toilets and the coffee cart), I was in the perfect position to gather all the gossip for you dear readers who have far too much time on your hands.

    Much was made of the fact that there were so many girls racing at this round, including Nicksta and Draco who were making their racing debut. Flame Bayliss broke a fingernail and was overheard asking her favourite paramedic to amputate the nail so she could do the second race. Wow. And then she kicked arse in Clubmans with this terrible disability. What a gal!

    Keystone flew round the track in F2 and F3, but was thwarted in her last race when turn 1 decided it wanted to get a much closer look at her. Poor Goblin had the same problem at the chicane during practice. Heal well Kel.

    Young Affdude was another making his race debut. The poor lad was so overcome with nerves that he couldn't even dress himself properly. Luckily for him an incredibly gorgeous woman (when seen in the right light and with some fortification on board) was able to assist the blushing lad into his leathers.

    Shock hairdo of the day award went to the kicker of zebras. His claims of a shower shaving incident were questionable as the new do has all the hallmarks of a bikini trimmer weilding Cowpoos, but given that eyebrows were still intact, we'll concede that KZ might be telling the truth. GIXser's hair remained steadfastly hidden beneath his cap all day because the poor lad was too embarressed to let people see him without highlighted tips. Oh the humanity! His bike looked really good 'though, which is why it stayed on display in the pits all day I guess.

    Following on from Jay Lawrence's success using Cheezels as an alternative fuel source, Trashybabe decided to do some experimenting with Burger Rings. His attempt was stymied by the theft of the strategically placed burger rings just prior to racing. Cowpoos was widely rumoured to be the culprit after his plans to emulate Mr Lawrence fell through when he accidently ate the whole bag of Cheezels he'd bought to adorn his bike with. Sadly for Nicksta the animated discussion about cheezels versus burger rings was overheard (although not in it's entirety we suspect) by a member of her pit crew. Believing the application of one of these snacks would be a complete fuel source, they failed to realise that the addition of a petroleum product was still required during these experimental stages.

    The Dover was seen having clandestine meetings with several riders during the day. One anonymous informant stated favours were exchanged for a peek in a little book clutched tightly in the hands of Mr Dover. Rumour had it that they were looking at Dover's own publicity shots for his upcoming gay porno, but the truth was out after excuses 34, 73 and 127 were used by Cowpoos, Fizzerman and White Trash.

    In a shock upset, Death_Inc managed to oust WT from 7th during the last F1 race. While Death did a happy-happy-joy-joy dance, Trashy managed to make up an excuse all by himself. I can't divulge what it was as it was quickly incorporated into The Book of Excuses (number 169). Call 0900BENDOVER for an on-the-spot excuse. Calls cost $19.99 per minute. Kids ask your parents first.

    And so ended the day. I know you boys out there will find this hard to believe, but there was absolutely no bikini-clad jelly wrestling going on between races.

  2. #2
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    jesus i missed all that???......all i get to report is a nice burn on me arm
    Hater of haters since 2012

  3. #3
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    And so ended the day. I know you boys out there will find this hard to believe, but there was absolutely no bikini-clad jelly wrestling going on between races.
    Bugger! that would have really finished off the day nicely.
    Great write up again RR, keep it up.

    "If you can't laugh at yourself, you're just not paying attention!"
    "There is no limit to dumb."

    "Resolve to live with all your might while you do live, and as you shall wish you had done ten thousand years hence."

  4. #4
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    Hahahahaha, for the inside line look no further than Riff Raff. Motogp or WSBK suddenly sounds boring in comparison.

  5. #5
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    *clicks who kickingzebra is*
    *clicks who riff raff is*

    nice write up

    www.PhotoRecall.co.nz

  6. #6
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    Go on luv gizza hug....

    Good write up.... So much behind the scenes action....
    Lump lingered last in line for brains,
    And the ones she got were sort of rotten and insane...

  7. #7
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    I shared my fruit with Jill, and shouted 'poo's a drink.....


    Nice write up babe
    Om nom nom.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlygirl View Post
    I shared my fruit with Jill,
    Jeez, and there I was thinking you were just giving me a plum!
    Exploring pastures anew...

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keystone19 View Post
    Jeez, and there I was thinking you were just giving me a plum!
    Got nuffing to say, but
    Om nom nom.

  10. #10
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    hahahaha Fantastic
    It's better to Burn out than to Fade away - Cause thats value for money!!

  11. #11
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    next time im just gonna join the girls, seemed they had more fun, and we can share ideas on handcream, facial scrubs, toners, and the ongoing debate wether to wax or so shave, "wots a girl to do" hohum..

  12. #12
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    13th February 2004 - 06:46
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    So there's the real scoop folks.

    Ya can read race reports about who finished where and what a big slide THAT was 'till you're blue in the face, but the REAL action is behind the scenes.
    Vote David Bain for MNZ president

  13. #13
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    Awesome write up Riff Raff!

  14. #14
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    13th February 2004 - 06:46
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    Quote Originally Posted by GIXser View Post
    next time im just gonna join the girls, seemed they had more fun, and we can share ideas on handcream, facial scrubs, toners, and the ongoing debate wether to wax or so shave, "wots a girl to do" hohum..
    Well you strike me as a bit of a "material girl" actually mate.
    Vote David Bain for MNZ president

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by White trash View Post
    Well you strike me as a bit of a "material girl" actually mate.
    nah, he just "wants to have fun"

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