The Trade Me questions thread

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Hi there. In the near future I would like to buy the rights to the questions and answers to this auction to use as the basis for a book. Can you please put the copywrite to all of your answers up for auction? Thanks. posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 7:19 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Do you have any monkeys for trade?

I am the winner of this auction. The machine is indeed faulty and can only go back in time. If you don't refund my money immediately I will be forced to not make my winning bid and therefore not be in need of the refund in the first place. Either way you won't receive bad feedback and you'll still get a healthy price from the next best winning bid. Actually forget about the refund. I'm off to buy a lotto ticket for last week opps... I mean this week. Thanks posted by: motomi (131 ) 7:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
You lost me at "I am the winner"

Hi, Are there Size or Weight Restrictions? posted by: griffin18 (31 ) 7:22 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Please scroll up as height has been discused earlier. 250 Pounds Max weight.

Your a funny Person! posted by: griffin18 (31 ) 7:24 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Isnt that what guys say to ugly girls?

Is this the same time machine as seen on "Dilbert" recently? Link: http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilber...-20050919.html posted by: toyokogyo (6 ) 7:25 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Why would someone name their child dilbert?

One last question, except for the others I haven't asked yet: ONE POINT 21 GIGAWATTS!!! How can we generate that kind of power???? Will I need to harness the power of Rita? posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 7:30 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Rita is a one hit wonder.

I often have to restart my Millennium Falcon with a hard bash on the bulkhead with my fist - constant modifictions have made for an extremely realcitrant hyperdrive - does the time machine suffer from this, cause I'm a bad arse one armed bandit and can't do 2 things at once... posted by: looped (107 ) 7:50 pm, Fri 30 Sep
"bad arse one armed bandit" Sounds like my last girlfriend.

RE: Monkeys. I do have infinite monkeys that have been playing with pencils and typewriters for a while trying to come up with the entire works of "Shake Spear", so I guess I could spare a few of them. These ones don't perform space explorations, however, sorry. posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 8:06 pm, Fri 30 Sep
If they dont perform space explorations im not interested. Do you have any photos?

For safety reasons, could you please advise if you have taken into account daylight saving. I do not want to risk returning at the wrong time and disappear in ever decreasing circles up my own rear end? If not sold, could I please book a return flight with you? posted by: pat.kake (2472 ) 8:15 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I believe i answer this Q: later in the postings.

Would you consider swapping a Mk3 Cortina Aerial for your Time Machine. posted by: yankeekiwi1 (287 ) 8:19 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Perhaps? I did use to like green cortinas. Does the aerial pick up More FM?

You asked: "Do you have photos?" Yes. Yes I do. The trouble is, the monkeys are currently all on Monkey Island 2. I could take a vote as to which ones are keen to Escape from Monkey Island 2. They might be willing to succumb to your unusual ...requests. But this is all aside from the point, namely, will you auction the rights to the answers to this auction? I would not like to breach copyright. The monkeys don't like that. posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 8:19 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The monkeys don't like to breach copy right. Very ethical monkeys you have. i would be happy to swap the copyrights for a monkey (one of the ethical ones), or if you win the auction the copy right goes with the time machine. Or you could donate some money to a worthy charity (The society for prevention of ethical monkeys) and its yours

Hi My dearest Mike. i have to tell you that you have captured my mind and soul. If only I were a clever woman, I could describe to you my gorgeous Inventor, how you unite in yourself the beauties of phisics .I would tell you that you are the greatest genius of all ages, and I should only be speaking the simple truth. But to put all this into suitable words, my superb one, I should require a voice far more harmonious than that which is bestowed upon my species - for I am the humble owl that posted by: westminsterchch (187 ) 8:21 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Ahem, just for the record I am single, approximately thirty years of age. In the past (and the future) I have found that physics and romance to not mix, but am always keen.

The 1000th anniversary G-Shock finally phases out world time in favour of time travel. One day you'll look back on this contraption and laugh. You should hire a designer if you want to scale production. posted by: dealn1 (3601 ) 8:23 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yeah but does that new G-Shock work underwater?

what processer do you use to opperate it? e.g. pentium 3... can it connect up to the net? posted by: pandoras-reaper (0 ) 8:24 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Its a 486 with no modem.

Hi, Out of curiosity how many watchers do you have? Hey great to see something a little different up for auction!! Good luck with your auction!!!! posted by: angeez1 (1812 ) 8:35 pm, Fri 30 Sep
There are 527 watchers, when what I really want is 527 bidders. I dont need luck I need bidders, people just seem to be treating me and my auction as a joke.

Hey dude, this auction is plastered all over the radion station, and more fm are the ones whom want you to get in touch with them for some freebies, there talking about you dude.. remember my user name and let me know what they give you... :-) posted by: redsonja (652 ) 8:40 pm, Fri 30 Sep
More FM better not be using my auction to get themselves free publicity. Despite the allure of freebies my ethics and non commercial stance, mean I cant break radio silence

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I have a copy of the REAL 'hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. (as in the one published on Ursa Minor.) Would you consider swapping the time machine for an entry from the guide (eg, directions to the restaurant at the end of the universe, information on Vogons, etc). posted by: grassyhill (25 ) 8:43 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Nah i got a copy on DVD.

I noticed you have an Eft-pos facility on this time machine......Does this cater for Daylight Saving?? posted by: mahills (80 ) 8:45 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The Day light saving is always a tricky thing, does the clock go backwards or forwards?

Hi Mike, could you please contact aj at morefm dot co dot nz, he wants to speak to you about the Time machine. Thanks. posted by: smithc (420 ) 8:46 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Is this some kind of fancy morse code?

Hi there, I think you are HOT!!.... are you married yet?... I'm considering to bid the auction so that I can get to know you better and travelled back the time, the time before I had a sex change operation....... I'm a big fans of you man.... lots of love, Rambo. posted by: dst (113 ) 8:48 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Im not married my missus dumped me, said I spent to much time in the shed working on the time machine. She will be back though, once she see the serious $$$$ I get for it on trademe.

This may well be the answer to all of my problems.....You see I have a hobby of growing KAURI Trees, which I find rather time consuming! posted by: mahills (80 ) 8:52 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Would you like to trade? Forestry is the way of the future, trust me.

Sorry to harp on and off about this, but due to the gravity of the situation the monkeys would like to know if you would be willing to swap the time machine for an Atari. And a harp. Let me know, and I'll pass your message on. posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 8:56 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I already have an Atari ST, that is a state of the art piece of equipment, i would consider swapping for some games like Ikari Warriors and Moonbase... man those games are wick!!

so, does this machine works well with the remote control of http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/a...sp?id=36973310 posted by: robbie_in_nz (29 ) 8:56 pm, Fri 30 Sep
This has been asked several times please try to keep up... In answer to your Q: Yes most likely.

******************************************* Hey Dude.... Your in the Waikato Time's!!! Wicked huh... I work here and saw your auction... great stuff mate!!! - Gave us all a good laugh here ******************************************* posted by: fancytricks (61 ) 8:59 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Saturdays? What page? is there a picture? Are there Monkeys? and more to the point have you bidded yet?

What sort of range would you expect to get out of this thing? There's a place which is not only 'a long time ago' but also 'far far away' that I need to get to. I can pay two thousand now, plus fifteen when I get there. posted by: felyne (102 ) 9:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
You could defnetly travel back to 1976 when Star Wars first opened. SOLD

since this auction is doing so much success... I am single,sexy, smart, 6'1, golden color... and available for tonight... call me... posted by: robbie_in_nz (29 ) 9:02 pm, Fri 30 Sep
For all the ladies in the house.

if i was blind what would i dream of?? could i possibly go back in time and change my blindness?? what about if i was down syndromed becoz my mum dropd me on my head could i go bak in change that?? OMG COULD I CHANGE MYSELF COULD I BE OSAMA IN BR A GOOD CATHLIC BOY?? OR BE PARIS HILTON OR THE PRESEDINT? or could i eat a sandwhich go bak 3 minutes b4 and eat it agen? thanks im very interestd in ur contraption posted by: shuntz (110 ) 9:14 pm, Fri 30 Sep
If you were down syndromed i doubt you could get the time machine up and running so the answer would have to be no... unless your some kind of Rain Man?

Hey Dude this looks a lot like the time machine I built back in 1911 about 48 hours ago.Some bugger stole it one night while I was out with Napolian and the boys.How do I know this is infact not my one .Can you Guarantee this is another feeble attempt to copy my invention or it is infact another design all together. posted by: buss (87 ) 9:20 pm, Fri 30 Sep
No Comment. Was Napolian well built or chubby?

hey, i love the phone! its so funky! like totally delish! hey, wat does the phone do in the.. time travelling process or something...? do you think that i could like go back in time before you and buy it? wat do you think? posted by: mochagirl (49 ) 9:25 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The so called "phone" is used to dial up time, what else would it be used for?

I'll add another $200 to the bidding straight away if you think you can help me install this in my blue police phone box... let me know if you think you can assist. posted by: idj4u (439 ) 9:29 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Im willing to go into any Blue Box with a stranger for and extra $200.00.

Hey there. Eyes got a PhD in kwontim fizicz and wurkt at a newclear power plarnt n yous tyme travowl orl da tyme n et hazent affekted me et orl despyte wot efurry won sez abowt et damaging yah brayn! posted by: edwam1 (116 ) 9:31 pm, Fri 30 Sep
This makes no sense at all... any takers? i think hes trying it on with me.

i have a large box of stupid pills would you like these to give to all the unbelievablers lol posted by: mark107 (80 ) 9:39 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Is this Marc Ellis?

I have one initial question: Is it possible to attach a Reality Distortion Field Generator (RDFG-Unit)to this particular Time Machine? I know it attaches to the RDFG-panel on the TM6000 with 4 X 8mm Hex bolts, but this being a custom built, I wanted to be sure before bidding again... And also, not unlike yourself, I'm a bit shocked by the number of people who don't seem to be taking this auction seriously. Good "luck". posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 9:45 pm, Fri 30 Sep
CHeers for the vote of confidence, unfortunetly it dosnt have an attachment for a Reality Distortion Field Generator but there is nothing stoping you form putting one o if you win the auction. at current price its still a bargin once you factor in the cost of your Reality Distortion Field Generator add on card.

Seller Comment: Ahem, I am off to bed, but rest assured all questions will be answered in due course. Thanks 9:48 pm, Fri 30 Sep

I like you. posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 9:48 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Is this Jason Gunn by any chance? If so i like you to

FYI, Paul Henry on Radio Live spent some time discussing you, he reckons you have humour i was tempted to ring him to point out the seriousness of the product. posted by: mikek (199 ) 9:51 pm, Fri 30 Sep
i dont believe you, Paul Henrys got way better things to talk about than me. Plus i dont see any humour in such a serious matter as Time Travel and im sure he wouldnt either.

CAN I GO BACK TO THE FUTURE, THINKING I AM IN THE PAST, WHEN IM REALLY IN THE PRESENT...? CHEERS posted by: holden113 (186 ) 10:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep
For startes you would be going forward to the future not back. Time Travel 101.

In it's completed state, would the time machine able to advise the answer to "life the universe and everything" ? posted by: mrshin (363 ) 10:05 pm, Fri 30 Sep

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Ah you must be talking about "The theory of everything". Trying to mathematically combine all the those forces is something that I have decided to leave to the professionals.

Hi there. Please check here: http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/a...sp?id=37001043 for a picture of me with the monkeys, actually ON Monkey Island. This photo was taken a little while ago, before I escaped. I didn't have a time machine back then. Those were the days. Anyway, If you want to come to some arrangement... posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 10:08 pm, Fri 30 Sep
One of the better pictures of monkeys in action i have seen. Is that legal?

Would you consider trade for Three Magic Beans? posted by: cafish (101 ) 10:11 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Depends... what kind of magic tricks do the beans do?

You spelt interest wrong, you bastard. How do you sleep at night? posted by: pulse (106 ) 10:11 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Not to good actully, theres alot of tossing and turning.

Hey man it works .. You've done it.. I started reading all the above and WHAM, Im now 1 hour in the future and cant remember the time in between. Im gonna read it all backwards now and get back to when my coffee was hot. BTW If its an anti gravity machine ya want then sit in the back of a boyracers car, this would also double as a time machine if done in the presence of the law. posted by: smc (913 ) 10:14 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Very clever start but you lost me mid way.

I must tell you that your work is much admired in the future but you must take great care to ensure that the mice do not discredit you as they did before. Remember the question? posted by: mgkmonty (7 ) 10:22 pm, Fri 30 Sep
This makes answering all these Q: all the more worthwhile. Keep up the good work and say hi to your Grandmother from me.

Hi this is John again. I managed to sort out my kerr issues but I was wondering if you had any masking tape or liquid nitrogen laying about? posted by: hexapod (12 ) 10:25 pm, Fri 30 Sep
I got a bit of masking tape laying around somewhere i could probibly put it in with the Time machine if it gets high enough?

I have the same panasonic phone used in the time machine. Is there going to be interference and if so will I get phone calls from the past and future on my normal phone? This thing will pay for itself then... posted by: nzrawr (17 ) 10:25 pm, Fri 30 Sep
As long as its not Nokia you should be fine.

did you know the whare house has one of these for just $39.95,? .....or was that last week....perhapes it was a special (if only I had a time machine) guess my timing is out.... posted by: smokinguns (818 ) 10:26 pm, Fri 30 Sep
As stated earlier the Wharehouse ones are made from cheap rubbish Japanese parts, all parts on mine are Korean made.

Are you not worried about the CIA catching wind of this? 'coz shit if they found out theyd have you assinated for sure. posted by: defdude (187 ) 10:31 pm, Fri 30 Sep
The CIA already have a file on me stamped IDIOT.

My older brother says that them your “closed timelike curve” may be able to overcome the chronology protection conjecture but the question still remains as to whether it utilises perturbation or rather, does it restrict an objects relativistic mass in order to enable an object to travel near the speed of light and thus travel forward in time? I think he's just being a smart pr1ck - shall I punch him for you? posted by: katekelly (25 ) 10:50 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Yeah, give him a punch ! Is he hot ?

What will you do wth your time when the auction finishes and you dont have to answer all these questions - will you create another machine? posted by: paynepirates (57 ) 11:09 pm, Fri 30 Sep
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mickd..I see you're not from the future, because you are using current hardware. Alas... posted by: cyberray (17 ) 11:30 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Of course im not from the future, My machine is incomplete not broken.

I would be dissapointed if I could not text message from my time travel device...is it Telecom or Vodaphone compatible? posted by: ztulk (150 ) 11:38 pm, Fri 30 Sep
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Does it Bake Pies? posted by: flameboy7 (73 ) 11:55 pm, Fri 30 Sep
if I could make a pie maker, I would be set. See previous question regarding the pie cost of this machine

Does it Bake cake? posted by: flameboy7 (73 ) 11:55 pm, Fri 30 Sep
See above

Does it microwave food? posted by: flameboy7 (73 ) 11:55 pm, Fri 30 Sep
See above the above one.

Does it come with russian mail order bride? posted by: flameboy7 (73 ) 11:56 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Do you see a Russian mail order bride in the picture?

Sorry to tell you, your polaron capacitor is oviously destabilising the phlogiston matrix of the translucidated fnark-inhalor, making all left quarks spin right and tachyons behave like leptons. This will cause trouble in your calpirinated zetasiser Nano, which renders the time machine useless. In short, it looks like a dud. posted by: aoc7 (384 ) 11:58 pm, Fri 30 Sep
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Can I turn back the clock and cyber with you, with this device, in a deep and meaningful way? posted by: madmumzy (175 ) 11:59 pm, Fri 30 Sep
Sure you can sweetie, just place a nice big bid

Mmmmm! me thinks with all the TIME you have spent answering these questions you could have finished 2 of these units, Cheers posted by: zen40 (156 ) 12:20 am, Sat 1 Oct
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Are you just a bit looney or completly f***ing nuts? posted by: camjam002 (3 ) 12:20 am, Sat 1 Oct
Scroll up this has been answered several times. PEOPLE PLEASE READ ALL Q: BEFORE POSTING.

By the look of the picture I think its wired it up wrong. Everyone knows that the hard drive to give a physically possible lorentz factor has to be wired in *parallel* to the EFTPOS machine, not in series. How else is the quantum temporal tunnelling perturber going to collapse into an eigenstate of the Hamiltonian spanning the local spatual Hilbert Space??? posted by: jamez_bull (188 ) 12:21 am, Sat 1 Oct
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Hi, since we already know who won the auction, is there any point in bidding now? posted by: russki_nz (17 ) 12:22 am, Sat 1 Oct
Yes bids must continue as if you did not know who was going to win, taht way it will still make its final bid amount. Otherwise im stuck with the peice of junk.

Whats the msx. ammount of years this version of the time machine can travel back? And also, im looking for a star trek original ear piece worn by spock. posted by: camjam002 (3 ) 12:24 am, Sat 1 Oct
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Ah, I have just come up with an emergency fix for your polaron capacitor and send it back to you, I can see you incorporated it last week, so you are nearly in working condition. Pity you will have given up and sold it. Then again, you have not sorted out the problem of the variable speed of light yet, which we will have been discussing yesterday evening or was that the day before tomorrow after it will have been too late because you sold your time machine? Time travel is sooooo confusing some posted by: aoc7 (384 ) 12:27 am, Sat 1 Oct
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I've made a mew fuckups during my life, and how many trips aprox, can this machine do? More than 1000 trips?My mates older version, back in the 1980's (i think it was an old V100 upgrade delusional machine) and he seemed to get around, back 'nd fourth quite easily. So yeh, does it come with the latest users manual, personally i havn't yet gone in one, but i have heard great things. Do you recommend me selling my old 90's version the V1250, WITH AN EXTRA MOISTURE EXPOSURE PAD, FOR THOSE WET TIME posted by: camjam002 (3 ) 12:33 am, Sat 1 Oct
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I have an anti gravity machine but i am up in the air about swapping it. will put you on my watch list!! posted by: usualsuspect (159 ) 12:44 am, Sat 1 Oct
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!!!tsaf ,em eucser dna enihcam emit eht yub enoemos ,pool emit sdrawkcab a ni ma I ,pleH posted by: aoc7 (384 ) 12:59 am, Sat 1 Oct
!dnuora draobyek ruoy gninrut yrT

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1:We are keeping you busy arent me. 2: Is it possible to go back into time and find out who killed JFK? 3: With timemachines how do you know WHERE you will be when you go back/foward - will you be in the same spot the machine was when you turned it on - eg in your bathroom, so in 100yrs time if your bathroom is now a road you'll be on the road? posted by: kiweaze (551 ) 1:39 am, Sat 1 Oct
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Can I come and view ths in Hamilton some time? Maybe trial it? posted by: kiweaze (551 ) 1:39 am, Sat 1 Oct
A/S/L

initialy i found it funny but after reading ur replies to all da question i am forced to say u got some talent and i wudn't be surprised if u actualy have got this goin....... all da best sellin it mate. hope ppl go easy on da questions posted by: flyen (201 ) 2:03 am, Sat 1 Oct
Your a nice fella, have a free bid on me.

im a litte bit peeved, my bid for 50 million dollars was genuine and you removed my bid.Im sure there is someone else who can make this product cheaper, you have lost a customer.... anyway. God speed. posted by: frank_db (66 ) 4:10 am, Sat 1 Oct
50,000,000 is in no way a serious bid, for this very serious auction

So if I win this auction, does this mean I can finally Figure out the meaning of the TV show L.O.S.T and therefore become a GOD to its followers. posted by: destroyednz (80 ) 4:47 am, Sat 1 Oct
SPOILERS ... Its a monkey in a ballerina suit down the hatch. And Walt is Jacks lost son.

Also is this Remote control http://www.trademe.co.nz/structure/a...sp?id=36973310 compatible with your Fantastic Machine, as I have been burnt by this type of machine and if this will really work without being reprogrammed I would be very interested, also if there is a power failure during Travel will the Time clock flash 12:00 to inform me of this, also why did you decided not to use a Flux capacitor. posted by: destroyednz (80 ) 4:54 am, Sat 1 Oct
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Isnt it sad that all these losers that have no intention in paying create new usernames such as 'nasa' and 'kgb'. If I knew their true identities (and id I win the machine) I will go back and prevent their births. They don't deserve to exist. Cheers! posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 8:41 am, Sat 1 Oct
Thanks for your support , after all this is a serious auction for serious people. I dont want to have to relist this if a fake person wins the bid and answer all these Q: again.

Does it deform you once you have travelled in time? posted by: ttkn (12 ) 8:50 am, Sat 1 Oct
See above Man Breast post.

Hey Mike, We've been monitoring your auction from our mirror site TradeMe.Mars, and we feel obliged to tell you that those beta version hyper-dimensional resonators can become a little unstable if you set the travel destination beyond about 50 years. You could end up + or - a few hours from where you intended, and if the earth, as you call it, has moved as per normal you could end up a few kilometers under the crust, or else very high up in the atmosphere. Could this be a problem for your purc posted by: geophilus (214 ) 8:53 am, Sat 1 Oct
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Have you solved sub-atomic orbital warp? My Searle -effect based Acme Time 401 went missing along wityh my girlfriend Sam but I glimpsed a snatch of her in "Blow-Up" (1966) The time machine keeps going past in the background disgised as a floral Mini-Moke. Can you help retrieve either or both? posted by: autumn13 (61 ) 9:19 am, Sat 1 Oct
You saw her what in "Blow up". This is a family auction

Further to the above - if I go back to 1966 to fetch the fetching Sam, she will be 20 and I will be 60 plus the time I age while travelling so how much money will I need to address the imbalance? posted by: autumn13 (61 ) 9:23 am, Sat 1 Oct
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hello i to am from the waikato region and i have an anti gravity machine and i am willing to swap for your time machine. PLease reply evevn if you are not interested... posted by: raptormc (4 ) 9:39 am, Sat 1 Oct
I have already offered to swap for a A-G machine that is patented as a pushup Bra. I dont know how it looks but am very interested in this sort of thing.

How much does one of these babies cost in the future? I don't know whether to hold out till the prices come down or not? Cheers. posted by: croftfamily (89 ) 9:49 am, Sat 1 Oct
Well, I think given the publicity of my therom you should see similar machines in the not to distant future at the Warehouse for $9.99.

Hi. I have a large family. Does it come with a coupling to tow a trailer and is it easy to steer when going back? posted by: mahlea (19 ) 9:55 am, Sat 1 Oct
It would probibly fit on Grandmas lap int he back seat no need for a trailer.

I am Jason Gunn! The reason I want the time machine is so I can go back in time and try to change myself and my behaviour so that I can be an "A" list celebrity rather than a "D". I hope I win! posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 10:01 am, Sat 1 Oct
You will always be A list in my eyes Jase dont let the haters put you down.

Im a nice guy. I have encouraged a bidding frenzy. JASON GUNN IS BACK IN DAH HOUSE!!!! Look out McDonalds Young Entertainer!!!!!!!!!! IMMMMMMMMMM BACKKKKKKKK posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 10:04 am, Sat 1 Oct
Tell me, whatever happened to that scary midget chick?

have the Exclusive Brethren financed this project dispite not believing in time travel? posted by: acethecat (11 ) 10:09 am, Sat 1 Oct
No those guys freak me out... Dont they have like 4 wifes each or is that the mormons?

If the exclusive brethrin funded this it would be green and have a punga log on it and they dont have 4 wives posted by: macka13 (12 ) 10:44 am, Sat 1 Oct
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Congratulations on inspiring so many potential time travellers. My own version containing similar componentry proved too costly to run as energy was derived from continuously passing a credit card through the slot of the eftpos-type charging converter. Although able to travel forward in time I found myself financially going backwards and regretfully abandoned the project. Have you overcome this problem? posted by: mikem22 (79 ) 10:56 am, Sat 1 Oct
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Seller Comment: Ok checked the Saturday Waikato Times, i am indeed in it, shame its not the cover though. 10:56 am, Sat 1 Oct

Why are you after an anti-gravity machine? Do you really consider yourself too down to earth or is it for your partner's use so they can join you in the stratisphere? posted by: ziggyboy (28 ) 11:04 am, Sat 1 Oct
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hi is this a zone one or zone 3 or other?????? I`ve tryed travel with a zone one ,but burnt all the fur off my english sheepdog using him as a test pilot posted by: lancalot61 (118 ) 11:07 am, Sat 1 Oct
The Zone counter was Soldered and chiped for Multi Region travel.

some one put a whole bag of bean bag balls in my car as a joke and when i drove off the balls where flying everywhere, it was quite annoying! oh and does this come with a manual?? posted by: koista (69 ) 11:20 am, Sat 1 Oct
Sounds liek a great trick, The manual is incomplete and in chinese.

You must be happy posted by: rampant1 (64 ) 11:39 am, Sat 1 Oct
Bidding seems to have stalled and im not sure how many of them are serious?

I have an anti-gravity board except the air brakes are broken and it need some more qauntridiam to power it, would you consider a swap? posted by: ayzee33 (97 ) 11:49 am, Sat 1 Oct
No thanks who drives anti-grav boards running on qauntridiam these days? id be embaressed to be seen on it.

I think this joke you have is gone mad, the price now will cost you. If the buyer doesnt pay, you may not get a refund on success fee. And if what you have put is incorrect, your liable posted by: swivel (294 ) 11:53 am, Sat 1 Oct
Please note this is not a JOKE auction and the winning bider is exspected to pay within 5 days of the auctions end.

this is all becomming very stressfull to me .First I get my time machine stolen when im on a boys night out with napolian(fairly Chubby really)Then I see this one up for auction .I ring np my russian mate Gorby to see if he thinks this one could be mine and the bastard starts bidding on it.So I ring another mate of mine old george and bugger me dead Nasa starts bidding aswell.All I can say now is dont sell it to the russians pleeeeease posted by: buss (87 ) 11:59 am, Sat 1 Oct
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From asecret location in the Buller Gorge I have mined a small amount of Uranium 234, What i need is an uranium enrichment centrifuge, I have contacted the Aotolah but he swears he has none for sale, and Sadams have not come up on trade me yet, If i can locate a UEC then i believe i can solve your power supply problems. posted by: gahedino (39 ) 12:01 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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Yes todays paper.. page 1! posted by: fancytricks (61 ) 12:07 pm, Sat 1 Oct
Yeah but the Dolphin guy is in the NZ Herald.

Hey. You are on the cover of the times!!! Front page man!!!!!!!!! posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 12:13 pm, Sat 1 Oct
What can i say... im famous LOVE ME

What about a board powered by hydrocarbonite, im a dealer in anti-gravity boards and i am very interested in buying this time machine so i can go into the future and buy some Playstation 3's and some xbox 360's come to the past and sell them for heaps making megaloads of profit. posted by: ayzee33 (97 ) 12:15 pm, Sat 1 Oct
Forget the Playstation 3's and Xbox 360's think BIG. Go back in time and buy a crap load of brand new still in the package Ataris, they will be worth a heap in 10 years.

Does this theory help you finish your Time Machine ? When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a perpetual motion machine. Adding in the temporal co-efficient o posted by: guym1 (5 ) 12:20 pm, Sat 1 Oct
I based an earlier design on the whole cat hovering thing. Once again i ran into issues with the SPCA - they seem to have some agenda with time travel

At last..Ive been on the hunt for one of these for a while. Can you confirm its able to transport larger objects. How would I squeeze my wifes arse into it. Have tried rowing machines and exercycles with limited success.. posted by: 1455 (47 ) 12:21 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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Would you consider swapping time machine for a memory enhancer in good working order? Some manual input needed. Size is A4 but could be downsized or upsized at little expense. Runs off most PCs. Closeup photo of part of it available at http://tinypic.com/e6cbxe.jpg posted by: khaki (10 ) 12:25 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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presumably it comes with technical support, is there any history of alzhiemers in your family, id hate to get to the future, have a problem and find i cant get back posted by: andyxa (52 ) 12:25 pm, Sat 1 Oct
There will be no support provided once sale is final.

Can you tell me if the time machine has a catalytic convertor as the SPCA outlawed those in the mid 23'rd century and I'de hate to get done by a couple of catscan machines waiting behind the superhighway roadsign for some sucker to go warping past with an illegal moggie convertor ! The fine could be more than the price of the time machine. Meow. posted by: ixplorer1 (125 ) 12:27 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Some of the bidding on this auction confuses me. Why would NASA be interested in this auction? This isn't a space craft, it's a friggin Time Machine. I can understand Jason Guns interest with his prediciment (that goes without saying)Some other people just have no idea. Geeks !!! posted by: mrshin (363 ) 12:29 pm, Sat 1 Oct
Exactley ! I think time travel is beyond the comprehension of most, and it shows in some of the questions asked. I was thinking of just donating to Jason Gun, as he obviously needs it more than most

I have mastered the art of jumping down n up rather then jumping up n down, This has defied gravity therefore not actually needing an anti gravity machine, I am willing to teach you this skill personally for the time machine posted by: seasme_street (113 ) 12:47 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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This machine sounds just like I need. Can you guarantee that I will go from 66kg to 56kg by tomorrow night. If so I am willing to outbid everyone. posted by: clair4 (452 ) 12:50 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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1. Does it have similar capabilities to the tardis which features on Doctor Who? 2. What sort of link does it have to the time vortex and is it stable? posted by: martyn_jl (63 ) 12:55 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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I have posted a question on the model after this that you are selling in 2009 on trademe but you are no longer answering questions on your future auctions, can you please answer my questions here? posted by: jake1z2s (1 ) 12:56 pm, Sat 1 Oct
I stop answering Q: in about an hour, as i get a bad case of R.S.I.

Seller Comment:
I would seem i typed an error earlier, we are indeed on the front page of the Waikato Times. Hope this will add to more serious bidders. 1:01 pm, Sat 1 Oct

you are a fruitloop but it seems to be working i am now thinking of tapeing a pile of junk together and calling it a timemachine and geting a heap of money for a pile of shit good thinking batman posted by: chris241 (108 ) 1:08 pm, Sat 1 Oct

I think you are being a little hard on NASA as it is obvious they indeed need the time machine to go back in time to save there space shuttles from a premature ending.After all space shuttles dont grow on trees you know.As for the crew of the space shuttles well they are required back it the good old USA to help clean up from the effects of a the storms they have had.Just between you and me I heard these storms were the results of the Russians testing a new weather machine. posted by: buss (87 ) 1:22 pm, Sat 1 Oct
bloody Ruskies

hi could this unit take me back to 1964 cause i missed a beatles concert in auckland cause i was too young posted by: rob331 (289 ) 1:28 pm, Sat 1 Oct
You didnt miss much. Just a crap load of young beautiful easy woman screaming at the top of their lungs looking for sex with anyone and everyone.

Does it come with wafers ? posted by: mdubdub (24 ) 1:32 pm, Sat 1 Oct
Wafers are available but would be an extra cost. I sthis really relevant.

[Swoop]

I,ve just located 2 of my own surviving time machines. There had been a third larger time machine but it was destroyed in the interests of humanity. I'm cleaning them up and checking for warpage. They seem alright. Will probably offer one of them on trade me soon. posted by: mcaninch (8 ) 1:45 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Îíî ìîãëî îïëàòèòü ñîâåòîâàòü ëþäÿì ÷òî íà÷àò ðåãåíåðàòîð ñóììû ìîæåò èìåòü îòðèöàòåëüíûå âëèÿíèÿ åñëè íåïðàâèëüíî ïîñëå òîãî êàê îí îòêàëèáðèðîâàí ïåðåä ïåðåìåùåíèåì. Îí ñåðüåçíî ïðèâèí÷èâàë ââåðõ ïî ìîåìó àíòèãðàâèòàöèîíí ;îìó àìîðòèçàòîðó è ïîâîðà÷èâàë âñþ âåùü ðóññêèì! Áóäåò èìåþùÿÿñÿ çàïëàòà, îäíàêî, ýòî ìîæíî downloaded ñ ñåòè íî òàêæå âàæíî ÷òî âû îáìàòûâàåòå date back ñïåðâà! posted by: studio1 (394 ) 1:56 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Does it only go back/ forwards intime but your stil in the same spot? or can you make it so you end up in a nother country?? coz anything past 1800's in nz you would get eaten posted by: flameboy7 (73 ) 1:58 pm, Sat 1 Oct

I wish I had seen this before.. you may have been interested in my flying carpet.. I recently lost my M.A.L (Mat Aviation License) due to exceeding the weight to mat ratio.. shouldnt have eaten that last yak burger in Tibet. posted by: crashparrot (69 ) 2:16 pm, Sat 1 Oct

You mentioned on a thread on the message board that money raised from this auction will go to a charity. Good on you if you are genuinely donating to a charity, would that be minus the TM fees you will be charged? If this is true, what charity were you looking at? Would you me thinking the SPCA in light of your guinea pig mishaps? posted by: 24mitch24 (839 ) 2:32 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Do you think i could rule the world if i went back to the start of time with an army of robots i just finished working on? i promise i will make you and all your relatives royalty. posted by: suma123 (56 ) 2:37 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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Do you think you'll be able to clock the page view counter by the time this auction ends? posted by: squidsquad (12 ) 2:37 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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This looks suspiciously like my time machine that was stolen from its park outside my home in Dunedin next monday. I am contacting Trademe yesterday to warn them that you will be placing an auction for stolen goods. You can expect a visit from the police last Tuesday unless you return the vehicle within the next 3 minutes. You have been warned!! posted by: shane-0 (27 ) 2:53 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you could travel back to a time before you were born. The mere fact that you could exist in a time before you were born creates a paradox. If you were born in 1960, how could you exist in 1955? posted by: djbryant (612 ) 3:08 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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Ps - Mikey. It would appear you are a little premature questioning the integrity of the bidders. Please refrain from doing this again, or I may get quite cross. posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 3:28 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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Does the bankcard reader except all type of cards? posted by: megadream (35 ) 3:51 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Seller Comment:
Ahem, Due to the recent publicity a proffessor of quantum physics got in touch to have an inspection of both my therom and the machine. He has confirmed that my theory is fatally flawed, and in fact my machine is just a phone attached to an old computer and an eftpos machine. I am incredilly embarrassed and would like to apologise to everyone who took an interest. As such the Auction will be withdrawn today at 6pm. My sincere apoogies to all the genuine time travellers out there. Peace out ! 4:50 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Is this covered under the FAIR TRADING ACT, if it does not work can I return it..... posted by: crested (204 ) 4:51 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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Will you marry me? I like your style! Ooops are you male or female as if female we will have to resort to a civil union!oh and don't worry about the one that thinks he is married to me... He will do the lawns and dishes! posted by: bubby1 (627 ) 5:16 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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Hey would you trade it for a 1979 TARDIS? Its all up to date in regards to service history and another question is why didnt you switch to plutonium like the DOLORIAN? seems more efficient as Uranium is hard to find at the warehouse-always sold out.give us a buzz about the trade.TARDIS just had a paintjob and upgraded the FLUX CAPACITOR.yours looks pretty mint though....Newer model? posted by: tfl (199 ) 5:20 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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Thats pathetic. You have an opinion. And in mine, not a good one. Peace out biatch. I will continue bidding until 6pm to keep me believing in something that was so, so close to being within my grasp. RIP time machine! The Dr "Jason Gunn" ESQ posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 5:24 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Sad to hear you will be withdrawning. Was good while it lasted. posted by: kiweaze (551 ) 5:25 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Man... Why are you pulling it out? Do you have to? Because it's funny shit... if you are getting taken down by the government or some shit tell them to shove it... everybody knows its not a real time machine and if they are not happy with it being false advertising them they can fuck off posted by: steelboy (10 ) 5:28 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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Mikey. You with me son? posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 5:48 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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Can I get some Noodle Box with that? posted by: flatoutgallop (55 ) 5:59 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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will it liberate the mighty he monkey of death??? free mandela!!!! i am the angel of death......... posted by: vtecboy1 (46 ) 6:06 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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When is it going to be withdrawn? posted by: jase.nz (176 ) 6:13 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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Aha, it seems you have a fever, and the only prescription ...is more cowbell. Thank you. posted by: samgabriel (55 ) 6:30 pm, Sat 1 Oct

Will you offer free delivery, now that the reserve has well and truely been met?? posted by: kennyboy1 (172 ) 6:32 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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were any animals harmed in the making of this time machine? posted by: manikazz (212 ) 6:33 pm, Sat 1 Oct
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does it give cash out? can you afford the success fee on this puppy? posted by: hamish.h (33 ) 6:34 pm, Sat 1 Oct

hey wat happened? Why has this auction becme a joke? i dont kno why people have bidded so much? they are not going to pay and theve just wasted your time! posted by: randompunker (65 ) 6:38 pm, Sat 1 Oct

[quallman1234]

The guy that brought it turned the key on and proceeded to turn it over until the battery was flat and then started push starting it on the road. Coaster rings me while I'm in a wheelchair taxi in ChCh, remembering the bike was in New Plymouth. Was asked how I start the bike up, which I replied turn the fuel tap on and pull the choke out. I was then asked where the fuel tap and choke was. I told them and of course the bike started straight away. I allmost told the buyer (or turkey as I thought) that he was too stupid to own my DRZ400, but wanted the money. Funny in reflection of the sale, appartently the same bike is for sale again. A few of my friends got quite scared on the bike and would not ride it again. I just knew I was destroying alot of rear tyres. Apparently it was because I tending to go around some courners slightly sideways. Dunno, I was just having fun, was told by the rider on the bike behind me on the pie and pint rides...

We have that bike now.
The bloody guy was a complete newbie... He ran the knobblies down to basically nothing in the middle however the sidewall was not worn down, Must of been kinky to corner.
I was talking to him when we bought it and he's using the money to put a deposit for a Gixxer thou!.

The 400 aint slow either!!!

[sunhuntin]

ok....click the link for my VFR auction below and check it out

1st - the guy asks how much to ship - my attitude is generally "find out for yourself noddy, im not a freight forwarder!" but in this case, since I've already bought my new bike and just want the cash from the VFR, I decided to help him out so I flicked off an email to biketranz.....

2nd - on an auction that is $1700 NO RESERVE, he asks if i'll take $2000 cash....um gee let me think about that....

3rd - then....after me explaining that it's $1700 no reserve so blah blah blah, he puts on a start bid of $1750 !??!?! WTF?!?!??! no complaints from me....

co worker nearly did something similar to that. i found him a soccer shirt, $90 buy now. got him to double check thats what he wanted [printed the page] and he then told me to bid $170! LOL. took ages to explain how it works...

[inlinefour]

We have that bike now.
The bloody guy was a complete newbie... He ran the knobblies down to basically nothing in the middle however the sidewall was not worn down, Must of been kinky to corner.
I was talking to him when we bought it and he's using the money to put a deposit for a Gixxer thou!.

The 400 aint slow either!!!

Well done on scoring the bike, was probably the best single enduro that I ever owned. Guess the bloke that I sold it to does not like courners, which makes me wonder. Why the hell is he buying a gixxer? It might end up having the biggest chicken strips known to be on a sportsbike...

[HTFU]

I was sellling my Giant Road Bike. In my ad I had frame size medium, top tube length 54cm, seat tube length 50cm, would suit rider 175-180cm tall. This information was included along with the other features of the bike.

First question was what size is the bike. I did not answer this one.
Second question was what size is the bike. I did not answer this one.

Fourth question was my partner is 5'7" tall would this suit her. My answer - Can those people wanting information about the frame size please go to this link - and I included my ads http address.

[*caution*]

anyone remember this auction?

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...hlight=trademe

KBer's insued to give the guy the most ridiculous questions ever, relating to the condition of its flux compacitor, and wether or not someones son could buy one and if he could get more of his other "camp" mates so they could all have a gay old time on them etc.

Some funny responses included:

"Come for a test ride and you can see just how sexy this bike is" or sumthing

Kept me laughing my head off for about 3 days following the questions and answers until trademe stopped all the fun!!

I wonder if it ever became someones first choice tool for going to work? and did the gas economiser turn out to be all it was cracked up?

[marty]

on the $1 reserve F4 1000 Agusta for sale at the moment:



What do you mean that the caveat emptor principle applys. posted by: petera66 (54 ) 7:22 am, Tue 25 Sep
What it means is that it is up to the perspective bidder to ensure they know what they are bidding for, and to satisfy themselves of the item, and while it is up to the seller to not mis-represent the item, they won't be held responsible for any assumptions made. 7:39 am, Tue 25 Sep


don't people know how to use google?

[The Lone Rider]

I seem plagued with people asking me how much I want for XYZ, when the auctions quite clearly show that the start price is the reserve price.

And after asking me how much I want for it (and telling them to bid if they want to get it), they then don't bid.

[Maha]

I seem plagued with people asking me how much I want for XYZ, when the auctions quite clearly show that the start price is the reserve price.

And after asking me how much I want for it (and telling them to bid if they want to get it), they then don't bid.

I got this question in a recent auction about paint colour...

''What colour cream is it - shade is it a grey cream or a butter cream. is it the shade of rice or ricebubbles''

[The Lone Rider]

I got this question in a recent auction about paint colour...

''What colour cream is it - shade is it a grey cream or a butter cream. is it the shade of rice or ricebubbles''

That's not too bad.

Computer screens tend to not be accurately calibrated and then neither are cameras.

At least they gave some examples of what they mean, rather than just asking you "what color is it"