Best of the Olympics
1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her
snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from
personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and
father."
4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in
boxing, but none of them really that serious.
5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can
expect the same thing again."
6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like
it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC
president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got
eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that,
before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh
my God, what have I just said?"
"Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]
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