Righto, the crew that went out to the Toeranges (Tauranga) this saturday just past were :
gijoe1313 (general ne'er do well and with delusions of grandeur)
Donor (hapless dogsbody with perchance for sugary, ginger, carbonated products)
Insane1 (mad person who flips burgers with alarming results)
Tide (young, naive waif who obviously didn't know the company he would be riding with!)
As usual, I made a plan of travel in detail, promptly balled the paper I wrote it down on and threw it over my shoulder (road trips never survive contact with reality).
Did I mention 6.30am start? Try 7.30am waiting for Hirepool to hire trailer to fool (we are hirefools *chortle*)
Got a text from Tide in his ominous Afrikan accent - who was I to deny his rights to a pootle?
Huzzah! Finally got to BP Autobahn Papakura after we worked out that the left indicator on trailer was kaput! We reversed the film "Every which way but loose" where I was Clyde and would make a fist out the window for "left turn" hur hur
Bloody lot of bikers there - must have been a good day for a ride! Insane1 was there and Tide turned up. Fuel to go and off we went!
Tide took point with his unique L-plate with tyre burn on it, Donor and I were the main body ... oh, alright, Donor is the main body!And his sprogling fruit was strapped in the legal child restraint.
Insane1 was TEC.
Plenty of stops on the way, Tide texting us "where are you?" and I swore I could detect an Afrikaan accent there!Paeroa came and went, got to Katikati and saw plenty of moron cagers doing stupid overtakes ... only for us to pass them when they turned 50m down the road
As we drew near, txt DMNTDand he promptly laughed at us ... we got lost on Manganui rd due to me holding the map the wrong way round (I blame the asian in me!) and finally got to GP Motorcycles.
I was explaining to Donor about how DMNTD would make his appearance. At the bridge over the water, caught at the roundabout I said
"DMNTD will roar up here lanesplitting at 100kph, he'll go over the roundabout and split up the biker's lane (the yellow lines)"
10 seconds later. He did exactly that!
Look on Donor's face : priceless
And then it was my turn to look like Donor
Unit did exactly the same.
Drool fest and bike porn fiesta commenced. The lads at GP were most excellent and allowed us to put copius amounts of saliva and other body excretions on show room models. Insane1 was looking at the Honda Goldwing and we all chortled over the doodads and whatchamacallits in plethora on it!
Found a nice little off roader for Donor's Young Sausage Sprogling (we had been making jokes how we were getting him ready for a nice chinese dish!)
I almost bought another bike along with the siezed RD250R we were picking up
DMNTD and Unit were most excellent. Also turning up were two Kawasaki riders on green machines who we spotted at BP Autobahn!
Good yak, Tide tied down Dandi, Donor got the learn by Unit on how to back a trailer (she took away his man card!)
We all took off to the Toeranger's KB haunt and had lunch. Much hilarity with DMNTD and Unit holding court as we mere mortals munched on vittles and listened in awe of the legends we sat with
And then we all buggered off home. Nothing much to say 'cept we had to re-tie down Dandi three or four times and called Tide filthy names - if you want something done right... (all good Tide
Hit Waikato expressway around 4.50pm and then proceeded to start work on Dandi (another thread this will be, Yoda speak, shall I) Tide had well and truly buggered off (that ho-ho in go fasta red!)
And on the way back ... we saw the two green Kawasakis! Much joy and relief ensued, I was twisting Donor's nipple to ensure he stayed awake and keeping up the usual patter of banter that passes for rapier with between us ("Did so. Did not. Did so so. Did did not....")
(the part about the nipple isn't true... but it could easily have been!)
Highlights of trip :
Singing the Ma-nuh Ma-nuh song, the wheels on the bus go round and round, Fraggle rock, Bohemian Rhapsody...
DMNTD and INJECTED for being wonderful hosts.
Tide's L-plate of curvature weirdness.
Insane1's enthusiasm to ride right to the end with us!
Photo1 : Dandi being stropped on by a strapping Afrikaaner that stripped to strap the strops ... ok, I'll strop that ... er stop now
Photo2 : A rather tasteless shot of Tide's rear shock absorbers
Photo3 : DMTND looking on and thinking "what the bleed'n 'ell 'ave I let myself in for 'ere?"
Photo4 : Unit just before she takes away Donor's man card.
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Originally Posted by Donor
....High7...
But that's what happens when you take cages! Always ends up expanding time, whereas bikes compress it! 
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