Smash you?

[scumdog]

I've had plenty of full on tough dudes crying like babies from a well executed wrist lock. Much more effective and far less messy than trying to knock someones lights out!

And get the wrong dude who has taken some 'recreational pharmacuetical' and even that might not work - I know

[Posh Tourer :P]

And, of course, fencing (my wife was a serious fencer in her teens).

I'm a "social" fencer at Auckland Uni. It is great fun, but a bloody hard workout if you are really going at it. Get to regularly fence the best in NZ University fencing, and get pummelled, but thats ok

[ching_ching]

Hi Texmo,

Thought I'd chuck just a little more of my 2¢ in cause in a way I know where you're coming from. After all I was 17 once and I talked horseshit and knew fuck all when I was 17 as well. But I digress.

When I first saw your original post I, as well as many others thought that it was for the purpose of garnering information for seeking advice about fighting arts for your betterment, yes protection as well as fitness, discipline, etc (even if you may have been trolling). But it seems you've finally admitted that what you were after was advice on how to do someone in even in self defence. My advice is what everbody else has been saying... use awareness and avoid something if you can otherwise talk, walk away. Having a fucking go is the last resort.
But per chance you still persist than maybe you can pursue your whims by actually doing a stint in jail. I'm a prison officer (yep, the ole embryonic screw... Spudchucker catches ya, I lock you up, feed you and spend 8 hours of my day with ya) and may I give you an ordinary, everyday scenario that may help you improve your skill in the art of fighting.
(note: precise details of workplace and people have been witheld for confidentiality reasons).

So, being the new guy the boob van rocks through the gate, pulls up and drops you off with your gears. The boss sees you and tells you to wait in the induction room while we conclude our business at that time whatever that may be. After 15-30mins an officer gets a chance to see you, tells you the kaupapa of the jail (what allowed to do, what not to do), checks your gear and takes all the shit off you that you're not allowed so maybe you can have a couple of t-shirts, your daks, socks, your electronics, one sports shorts, couple of singlets... not much else. The rest of your gear will be boob. The mister than gets you to sign all the paper shit then you follow him to your cell. Once you go through the grill into the compound almost all eyes are on you seeing who you are making sure that you're not someone that they haven't "bumped" into in some other jail.
You're chucked in your cell, the Mister says "please enjoy your stay" and that's it. You've been told that this camp is a pretty good camp not many standovers, etc. Don't believe fuck all that you hear in jail. Jail is jail (in varying degress I must agree) wherever you go.
If you're lucky you may go a day or two without any hassles. But if you draw the lucky card then the sharks start circling straight away. After a while Texmo you begin to smell when troubles around. One of the "residents" will rock up to your cell and introduce himself and talk nicely for the first couple of minutes than out of the blue will "ask you for your TV or radio or whatever you have that may be of value (phone card, chocs and if you smoke... your "gold" your tobacco).
So this is one of the crucial points of your stay in jail. Yield, or tell him to fuck off. If you opt for the second option than wait for the "second wave" to hit. It may happen like this:

So you're in your whare watching your TV. One of the inmates comes up to the dogbox and asks the Mister something about something. While scanning the officers to make sure they're not pegging the compound at that mo, the inmate gives the 1st lookout down at Wing 3 the OK sign discreetly. The Wing 3 lookout gives the OK to 4 guys slowly ambling nonchalantly down towards your hut down Wing 1 say. If it's all good, 3 guys nip into your hut and fuck you over real good (with work boots and all, and if they really hate ya, poke you with something). All in the matter of just over 10 secs. The 4th guy is the lookout by your cell and when he gets the OK from lookout on Wing 3, he tells your welcoming committee its OK to hop out. So you're on the floor fucked, if you're as good as you say you are you may have got in some good (read "lucky" shots) but against 3 guys in a 3.0M X 2.5M cell I kinda doubt it especially if they blanket you. So if you're as staunch as you sound you don't tell the officer nothing. But believe me, this will continue day after day.
Some of the training you can look forward to is having a crim continously jumping up and down on your fingers till they're way past broken, getting held down while getting continuously goal kicked in the nuts, shinned with bed slats that they rip from YOUR bed (inconsiderate barstads, why don't they use their own bed slats) as well as the usual cut lips, broken teeth / ribs / cheekbones / jaws / black eyes, etc (BTW haven't had a proper blocking for ages, todays crims must be getting soft). And you've probably only being at the camp for not even 24 hours. And if you're a first time offender, you're probably doing a sook lag of about 2-3 months, ahh ample time to train.

So Tex, sound like the kind of training you'd get into? And this is the stuff without major weapons involved like carving knives smuggled out of the kitchen, carving chisels snuck into pockets, makeshift razor blade slashes burned into toothbrush handles, etc. No shortage of sparring partners in here. And most of them will be veterans of this "training establishment". Remember, in the street you may have the chance to walk away. In jail, if you're serious about your training, there is no place to run and hide.
This is no made up shit. It happens at work pretty much everyday (especially around full moon lately... buggered if I know why). You being 17 I'd venture to say that what I've said has just gone in one ear and out the other. Hope not. Just too many young fullas in jail. In this respect, listen to those who have gone before you.

ching_ching

[scumdog]

Well said that man (ching-ching), maybe if texmo doesn't heed our advice he might remember your words someday when he's bloody & broken

[jrandom]

I'm a "social" fencer at Auckland Uni. It is great fun, but a bloody hard workout if you are really going at it. Get to regularly fence the best in NZ University fencing, and get pummelled, but thats ok

Sitting in the cubicle farm at work just across from the current president (in his spare time) of Fencing New Zealand, I hear a few good stories about it.

Sounds like fun.

[Jackrat]

Interesting little yarn Ching,takes me back to a time best forgot.
An then I can't help but wonder how cute Tex is

[jazbug5]

Excellent post, and a point well made, ching. Happened to see this in today's paper; well, it would have been rude not to stick it up, no?

[jrandom]

Excellent post, and a point well made, ching. Happened to see this in today's paper; well, it would have been rude not to stick it up, no?

Yeah, well, now I'm all frustrated not knowing what happened to Marina Erakovic, aren't I?

[jazbug5]

I think she does these clever stunts with her frontal lobes..?

[ching_ching]

Interesting little yarn Ching,takes me back to a time best forgot.
An then I can't help but wonder how cute Tex is

Heehee

[ching_ching]

Excellent post, and a point well made, ching. Happened to see this in today's paper; well, it would have been rude not to stick it up, no?

Hmm... interesting. I think I'm still undergoing development. People still say I talk horseshit and know fuck all.

[texmo]

Meh...... I'm now in the process of looking for a club to train.....
Also I have had a really bad hiding 1 punch to my nose sounds really bad dosent it, wel it wasnt untill I hit the ground (the curb to be more precise) and broke my jaw in 2 places, kncoed a single tooth out was unconsious, and lost alot of blood. the guy also kicked me a few times when I was on the ground breaking my lower left rib.. thats bad by my stands any ways, but not the worst I have sceen.
Oh and S/C I have only had one figh other than that in a public place and if you read my post from before you would know I dont carry weapons in a public place.....

[texmo]

BTW I just had an awsome 3 day weekend of varminting..... Rabbits, Hares, possums and some unwanted birds such as turkeys and magpies. most fun ever.

[Mongoose]

BTW I just had an awsome 3 day weekend of varminting..... Rabbits, Hares, possums and some unwanted birds such as turkeys and magpies. most fun ever.

Ahhhh, now your talking, if you wanna kill something, shoot it, dont use your fists
Great way to spend some spare time, huh texmo?
Maybe thats two bugs you have now, riding and a killing?

[texmo]

Ahhhh, now your talking, if you wanna kill something, shoot it, dont use your fists
Great way to spend some spare time, huh texmo?
Maybe thats two bugs you have now, riding and a killing?

Nah I've had the killinbug for a while now been and 6 duck shoots 2 turkey shoots (with shooties trying to elimante a whole gang, not just killing one or two with a 22 or sumfing) 2 pig hunts and hope fully another these holidays and a deer hunt is on the todo list
But I do really enjoy stalking things is rabbits