Today's perspective

[dogsnbikes]

I can relate to that totally being a step father of A special needs child...and a boss of special needs adult every day is a challenge for them some more so than others and it doesnt take long for you to relise they are brillant in there own right........

I will never forget the day of pet day at the country school when the young lad said to me he couldn't walk harry the lamb in front of all the people...replying in the way of encouragement boy and lamb entered the ring although harry was dragged some of distance he quickly got to his feet and walked beside the boy and together they made it happen......

the smile was so large and the boy full of excitement telling me he was no longer scared although he never won a ribbon he wasn't phased and told me that by just completing the walk he had beaten his fears and won

[James Deuce]

I enjoyed that thanks, and enjoyed the sad cunts trying to "put things in perspective". Lifes funny, sad, good and bad and I wouldnt have it any other way. It has its own perspective and you either see it, or make your own.

Personally I was laughing my arse off at the though of a shitty smelling spastic have a fucking good laugh at kids letting him win

I'm the sad cunt who is the parent of a Down Syndrome kid who faces the same "future" as Jay. My wife watched that shit happen after she'd spent a couple of hours talking to "Jay's" mother about life in general, just yesterday. Most people when confrionted with the reality of disability behave like dicks.

The reality of being Intellectually handicapped, which your daughter isn't Graham, is a great deal bleaker than that load of tripe.

Yod - it's simple - you don't gawp, stare, apologise, or behave like the universe has ended. You treat all people the same and say hello irrespective of any obvious "issues".

[Grahameeboy]

I'm the sad cunt who is the parent of a Down Syndrome kid who faces the same "future" as Jay. My wife watched that shit happen after she'd spent a couple of hours talking to "Jay's" mother about life in general. Most people when confrionted with the reality of disability behave like dicks.

The reality of being Intellectually handicapped, which your daughter isn't Graham, is a great deal bleaker than that load of tripe.

Yod - it's simple - you don't gawp, stare, apologise, or behave like the universe has ended. You treat all people the same and say hello irrespective of any obvious "issues".

How do you judge degree's of bleakness Jim2.

Nats cannot walk, cannot press duplex together, cannot always undo pen tops, cannot feel when she is having a shit (relies on overflow), already has signs of scholiosis, hip flexors are tightening, may need spinal fusion when older, ends up in Starship when she gets a bad cold, may not make 20 and will never be independant...and has to spend 3 hours a day in a standing frame to avoid brittle bones.....saw her x-rays the other day....hardly any bone density.

People with the downs syndrome will have a degree of learning difficulty. However, most people with Down’s syndrome will walk and talk and many will read and write, go to ordinary schools and lead fulfilling, semi-independent lives.
Today the average life expectancy for a person with Down's syndrome is between 50 and 60. A considerable number of people with Down's syndrome live into their 60's.

I know from our chats that you have had a tough time with Alex, however, your comparison is no different to your post about peoples attitude towards disability.

You dissappoint me Jim2.....I know it is stressful, however.....no enough said...no stuff it...as you said "I'm the sad cunt"....I have taken quote so as to avoid an infraction.

[ManDownUnder]

The story sounds made up, but raises an interesting point. Kids can be cruel, but never underestimate their ability to read a situation or person.

Kids are a reflection of their upbringing and are often simply honest. They don't know how to be PC so "Why can't she walk" is a simple yet profound question. Profound because it is one the adults have learned not to ask, despite not actually knowing the real reasons themselves.

Would I have made the same decision to let the little man play? Hell yes. Without hesitation. Which is more important, the lesson he's entitled to join in and try things, and that he's a part of the community, and he should aim to be all he can...

... or winning a single baseball game that people will struggle to remember a week from now?

And no - I'm not being profound. It's a simple fact (as far as I'm concerned).

[surfer]

Nice story, it touched me.

[James Deuce]

How do you judge degree's of bleakness Jim2.

Nats cannot walk, cannot press duplex together, cannot always undo pen tops, cannot feel when she is having a shit (relies on overflow), already has signs of scholiosis, hip flexors are tightening, may need spinal fusion when older, ends up in Starship when she gets a bad cold, may not make 20 and will never be independant...and has to spend 3 hours a day in a standing frame to avoid brittle bones.....saw her x-rays the other day....hardly any bone density.

People with the downs syndrome will have a degree of learning difficulty. However, most people with Down’s syndrome will walk and talk and many will read and write, go to ordinary schools and lead fulfilling, semi-independent lives.
Today the average life expectancy for a person with Down's syndrome is between 50 and 60. A considerable number of people with Down's syndrome live into their 60's.

I know from our chats that you have had a tough time with Alex, however, your comparison is no different to your post about peoples attitude towards disability.

You dissappoint me Jim2.....I know it is stressful, however.....no enough said...no stuff it...as you said "I'm the sad cunt"....I have taken quote so as to avoid an infraction.

For goodness sake I'm not. Take it offline an engage via PM, because you are massively unaware of a huge range of issues with DS. I'm not trying to compete with you.

Your initial post was a load of Reader's Digest rubbish. That was what I was commenting on, not our respective "burdens".

[Grahameeboy]

For goodness sake I'm not. Take it offline an engage via PM, because you are massively unaware of a huge range of issues with DS. I'm not trying to compete with you.

Your initial post was a load of Reader's Digest rubbish. That was what I was commenting on, not our respective "burdens".

No Jim..........we will leave it at that. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

[BuFfY]

Wow, that first story bought tears to my eyes. I don't think I will read the rest of this thread as I have a feeling there will be some harsh words... but thanks for sharing it with us

[Lias]

My aunty was born with trisomy-21, she died in her teens.
My sister was born with trisomy-21, she died at 3 months old.
My partner miscarried my firstborn child after having an amnio test.

Even after all that I still believe that society should have compulsory testing for chromosonal abnormalities and compulsory abortion of any positives.

For someone born like that their is no such thing as a normal life, no matter how many warm fuzzies or heartwarming stories you hear. It is better for them to have never been born, and better for society as a whole.

Hows that for a bleak view?

[yungatart]

Adults "fail the test", as you put it Jim, because it is outside their experience.
I am blessed (lucky, if you like) because my eldest brother was intellectually handicapped (an un pc term today, but that's how we knew it then). I grew up around people with disabilites, physical, mental, sometimes both.I learned more from them than I ever taught them and I am grateful that they were in my life.
I now work with special needs kids with a wide range of disabilities and abilities.They still teach me more than I teach them. I'm still grateful to them everyday.
But reality, for the parents of these kids is hard, an uphill battle for funding, for equipment, for help and often, all too often, for acceptance of them and their child/children. They do not want sympathy, or pity.
I see the looks as we take the kids from our centre out walking or to a cafe for morning tea. I also see the generosity and acceptance from some people...just not as often.

[ManDownUnder]

Hows that for a bleak view?

Well formed, biased and one that seeks to remove my rights as a parent... so... it's crap really.

[Paul in NZ]

Hows that for a bleak view?

Not as bad as mine - I saw Jim2 at lunch time - it was horrible...

Life can suck some days folks - it challenges ALL of us everyday because despite appearances - nothings easy. Whats important is that we keep struggling to better our selves and the world we live in. Being hopelessly OTT won't help much but it's better than the opposite.

Keep fighting - keep improving - keep questing.

You know - you improve your body through exercise - you exercise past the point of discofort and then rest and the body rebuilds that muscle stronger, you can do the same with your spirit and intellect..... You just have to push it a bit every day! Being nice to people is a stretch sometimes... I guess...

[ManDownUnder]

They do not want sympathy, or pity.
I see the looks as we take the kids from our centre out walking or to a cafe for morning tea. I also see the generosity and acceptance from some people...just not as often.

Indeed! The measure of a society is the way it treats the young, the old and the infirm. It's not born of sympathy or pity. It's a simple recognition that people need the help of others from time to time.

Some for longer than others... c'est la vie

[James Deuce]

Well Graham has already judged and seen that it is easy, so who am I to argue.

[Grahameeboy]

No I have just said how I feel. Not a judgement. My earlier post which caused some flack (which is fine) was said because your post was percieved as comparing disabilities, hence my post saying sorry for misunderstanding. I am sure a face to face talk would have not had the same result.

I am not saying it is easy. Show me where I say that? Just that I look at the bright side as much as I can so that the painful side does not interfere with my life so much...like YoungTart said, disabled kids do not need our self pity and if there is one thing they, and for me Nats have/has done, is teach me not to feel sorry for myself so if she can be happy then there is no reason why I should not be.

For those KBers who meet me on rides, they probably just see a happy easy going chappie despite my personal circumstances. Paul in NZ said that when he met you it was not a happy sight...........we just deal with things in a different way mate and I both feel for you and worry about how you are coping.

I have had battles to get equipment, the Dhb to get them to recognise that I exists and so on and won...........very tiring at times...........but if I let that all get me down then what good is that to Nats.

Your pm was sad and I know the future, like with Nats, is not good but their future is in your hands, no one elses.

I was not going to reply like I was was not (and will not) reply to your pm because I just thought things were best left but what the eck....I feel your pain mate but you need to remain positive and sunny not just for Alex's, your family's sake but your own mate because being honest, I can see bad vibes in your posts.........you are a great bloke, not saying otherwise, you have a lot to deal with but there is not a lot you, I or anyone else can do about our kids, other than be