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Thread: More things to ponder

  1. #1
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    11th February 2007 - 21:35
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    More things to ponder

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries
    are getting dead?

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know
    there is not enough money?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion
    stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you
    throw a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the
    bubbles are always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes
    that something new to eat will have materialized?

    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
    vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put
    it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first
    try?

    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
    shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's
    all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That
    hurt, you stupid idiot?"

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
    falling off the table you always manage to knock something else
    over?

    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
    summer when we complained about the heat?

    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

  2. #2
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    25th January 2006 - 15:33
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    love the vacuum cleaner/string one - so true!

  3. #3
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    25th May 2004 - 23:04
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    I like the shopping trolley one! I usually say "well, you should watch where you're going" - or, if it was an old person who hit me, "should you be allowed out alone?"
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  4. #4
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    16th March 2007 - 16:45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Imanoobie2 View Post
    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
    That is so true! Must be something to do with all the unappreciated, helpful advice (meddling) that Mother In Law's like to dish out! Mine is an expert!
    I'm going to become one soon but shhhh its not official yet, so I cant tell anyone! I think I'll make an excellent Mother In Law or in Son-in-Law speak "Interfering busy body" if I follow in her footsteps.

  5. #5
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    7th November 2008 - 13:30
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    Why?

    Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

    Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds when they already know you're broke?

    Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe, you believe them but, if they tell you there is wet paint, you have to touch it to check?

    Why do they use sterilised needles for lethal injections?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

    Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    Why is it that, no matter what colour bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialised?

    Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the first end you try?

    How do those dead bugs get into enclosed light fixtures?

    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart, then apologises for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right"? Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?"

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

    Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

    And my FAVORITE…
    The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends.
    If they're OK, then it's you.

  6. #6
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    26th May 2005 - 20:09
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    Why dont they make glow in the dark remote controls?
    The Heart is the drum keeping time for everyone....

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