What to do if your girlfriend/wife/partner is upset

[Zuki Bandit]

Thanks Klingon, this is like the relationship bible!

[FROSTY:Me]

So whyinheckdoyabotherfriggintellinmeifyadontwantitfi xed?? ---Muttered under the breath as ya stomp out to the gargre after she says NOTHING IS WRONG for the 5th time

[Skyryder]

hmmmm got some baggage have we??????

This is exactly the kind of behaviour that clouds the issue and aggravates the situation, it's called relational blackmail and is extremely unhealthy for all concerned.
I hope your judgement is improving rapidly, long may that be the case.

No blackmail behind my suggestion. Turning of the juice is the best way I know of to get a mans attention. So the gal wants some quality time due to family stress. Don't think that is asking too much, do you. All I'm hearing hear is that it's in guys nature to be indifferent, and making excuses as to how it's not in the nature of a male to be caring for their partner, lover, or wife. I'm surprised that no has thought of bringing home the bacon excuse. It might be more relevent. The man may just be too pooped.

[peasea]

No offence BUT!!!!

If you have to work that hard at a relationship it can't be built on very solid ground IMHO.

My other half and I just get on with things, know when to shut up, know when to 'be there' and do everything together.

There is so little 'effort' involved in our relationship it's scary and (in the darkest corners of what passes for a brain in my skull) I keep thinking there's going to be a big, smelly foot come out of the sky one day and squash it all.

Too much analaysis can ruin things.
I'm enjoying life so much I think I'm going to puke.

[Macktheknife]

All I'm hearing hear is that it's in guys nature to be indifferent, and making excuses as to how it's not in the nature of a male to be caring for their partner, lover, or wife.

If that is all you are hearing then I respectfully suggest you improve your listening skills.

Most, if not all, the real men I know (and those who have posted here) have said nothing of the kind. What has been said in multiple ways is that we are extremely sensitive to our partners upset/emotional distress and frequently at a loss as to how best to help, hence Klingon's original reason for the post, to give guys a bit of a clue as to how to handle it better.
We care deeply when our partners are upset and feel distressed and 'not as useful' if we cannot solve the cause of the upset for them, as one who loves you would want to do.
Responding to that as if we do not care is not only incorrect but insulting and makes matters worse.
Your approach is best described as petulant, "give me what I want or I will remove something pleasurable from your life". If this is truly the best way you have to deal with things, then you have my sympathy, I think you will need it.

[Kendog]

Noticed my husband hasn't posted in here...
I hand him a bottle of "Hardenthefuckup" and that usually makes him feel better, if not I show him my boobies.

I am feeling upset right now.


mmmmm, boobies

[skelstar]

mmmmm, boobies

Does Trudi have a sister?

[Babelfish]

No offence BUT!!!!

If you have to work that hard at a relationship it can't be built on very solid ground IMHO.

My other half and I just get on with things, know when to shut up, know when to 'be there' and do everything together.

There is so little 'effort' involved in our relationship it's scary and (in the darkest corners of what passes for a brain in my skull) I keep thinking there's going to be a big, smelly foot come out of the sky one day and squash it all.

Too much analaysis can ruin things.
I'm enjoying life so much I think I'm going to puke.

I'm with you....even if you dont own a suit...life is simpler than a LONG list of rules. Although perhaps I help this by not being with a needy tart. In the 15 years that I have shared with my wife I have pissed her off based on those very rules, but comforted her when its counted. Thats the fun of a relationship. Reading those rules just makes me sigh and want to run a mile....or have the afforementioned sex to take my mind of it.

Damn it, I almost went all serious then

[ynot slow]

Ladies seem to have no trouble talking over a coffee or wine about their problems,i.e health, emotions,family problems,it is easy for them to talk.Maybe it's the maternal side in them.

When was the last time a group of guys on a Thursday or Friday night,sat down at the local bar and discussed prostate problems,libido,or similar related problems,if they did the bar would empty,it isn't in our psych to be open about certain things.And top of that list is when the good lady may want a hug or a shoulder to cry on,we mortals can't see it.Mind you if she has got father problems with illness you would have to be a bloody nut not to offer your services which may be needed.Something out of whack if you can't work out why she's pissed off with you,especially if she's told you what's wrong with her parents,and then you ask her what's wrong?Are you upset?Time to get the knife out of your back as you turn and go back to the KB site on events you were reading just prior to her talking.

[xgnr]

Yep sensitive we blokes....

Pillion rings in tears at 7.00pm tonight...(me pulling rear master cylinder apart...thats another story)

"I've just rung over a cat... its flapping around in the middle of the road..." Tears and sobs...

Luckily it was .5 km down the road so I tell her to stay in the car and I will be there soon (BTW this is the middle of Auckland.. Meadowbank)

Tear off down the road with Torch and towel to mop up the blood and secure the flapping cat. Wondering what I will find... omg local kids screaming 'cos pussy's guts is all over the place damn.

Car parked on the side of the road, fogged with the bawling driver clutching the steering wheel... traumatised. Soothing noises, all ok (you know how it goes guys.. or maybe not lol)

Spot a cat fleeing behind the parked car, shit, maybe just stunned I thought... walk a bit further on and there is one dead, squished, possum...

Score ME 1 , Possum 0. Cat pissed off 'cos he was chasing the possum when it ate the tyre and came back for a lick of the carcase..

Pillion hails from the West Coast... I wont tell her dad we had tears over a dead possum... Will save this one for the future

Best thing is that I am A FUKING legend... after three wines, Pillion suggested that I would just say "chuck it in the gutter and come home" HOW RUDE !

I came through when it counted....

[Devil]

Best thing is that I am A FUKING legend... after three wines, Pillion suggested that I would just say "chuck it in the gutter and come home" HOW RUDE !

I came through when it counted....

Someone's getting some tonight... or a raincheck at least!

[Skyryder]

Some guys just don't know how to handle emotion. That's no excuse for not listening.

Hope it all pans out for you Klingon.


Skyryder

[Babelfish]

BJ forgot his wedding anniversary and his wife was really ticked off at him.

She told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE."

The next morning, BJ got up really early.

When his wife woke up a couple of hours later, she looked out the window, and sure enough, there was a small gift-wrapped box sitting in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway, and took the box into the house.

She opened it, and found a brand new bathroom scale.

BJ is not yet well enough to have visitors

[The Pastor]

yada yada yada somthing about feelings blah blah blah


Ohh look some beer.


SORTED!

[kevfromcoro]

Wot? Gone again? I thought she had just come back . . .

yes..she went and then came back,,and then fucked of again..i have had a guts full...been through a bit of shit..have a look at my thread,,mens rights and the law,.fuck it iam packing as we speak going to thailand to do some bikin..and mischief.......KEV