Give me your analogies

[_Gina_]

He's got a face on him like a chewed up mintie.

I'd rather fist myself than [insert thing you would rather not do....]

[terbang]

Ref: Some motorcycle's performance.
'Couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding'.
or
'Couldn't pull a sailor of yer sister'.

And its as 'rare as rocking horse shit' is another favourite.

[Bass]

As dry as a buzzard's crutch.

Away like a gazelle on heat.

As ugly as sin

As rare as hen's teeth

As busy as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest

[vifferman]

tighter than a nuns c***

Ah... repost, Dude.

Try: "Tighter than a fish's arse - and that's watertight!"
Or: Tighter than a bull's arse in fly season."

[terbang]

'Lets make like a donkeys dick, and hit the road'

[sAsLEX]

she could suck a golf ball up a garden hose.............

Reminds me of a dit.....

Ugly guy out with his mates at a stag do in a strip joint starts getting hassled by the stripper on his mediocre looks, a bit pissed and alot angry he thinks of revenge. Later in the night the stripper is displaying her skill by picking notes off the stage, she then moves to coins. Seeing his opportunity he pulls 50p out of his pocket along with his lighter and starts to heat the coin, it gets hot, red hot so hot that his fingers are smoking but he is after revenge! Lobs the sizzling coin on to the stage where she proceeded to try suck the coin up
They where promptly kicked out but he had a big smile on his face to go with his burnt fingers and her burnt..........

[avgas]

as dense as timbre,
as subtle as a sledgehammer,
i wouldn't touch her with your dick,
Pulled like underpaid malaysian....
Sucked like a Hoover

[ManDownUnder]

Jesus dude - I live by analogies... how many do you want (Actually it's hard to recall many - their use is very situational)

Gone like a fart in a fan factory

Something unpopular goes down
1) like a turd in a punchbowl
2) like a cup of cold sick

Boring at batshit

errr... many more - I'll be back as they come up

[Big Dave]

Splendid - alliteration analogy always an added attraction. Actually attaining any astounds at acceptance and acclaim awarded accordingly. An absolutely awesome achievement. Atypical. Adequately and appropriately appraised, all above are aware and attuned. eh.

[ManDownUnder]

Splendid - alliteration analogy always an added attraction. Actually attaining any astounds at acceptance and acclaim awarded accordingly. eh.

eh.........?

[Big Dave]

My regulars.

Like a frog in a sock. (actually a mixed metaphor)

Smaller than a bee's dick

Tyres harder than a Bulls forehead

busier than a one-armed bill poster in a gale

busier than a one-armed taxi driver with crabs

crook as Rookwood - (a big Cemetery in Sydney)

Gooder than a really good thing on national good thing day.

Off like a piece of cheese in the sun

Make like a shepherd and get the flock out of here

[Pixie]

Analogy : from the Greek Anal + Logy meaning to write a lot of shit.

[Big Dave]

eh.........?

I...see...dead words

[007XX]

I've been told I was:

Built like a racing sardine
As funny as a fart in a bottle (HUH???)
hyperactive as a hummugbird on P


and I'm sure I can think up some more....

PS: Horny as a toad (not me, but what the *&^%??? kind of an analogy is that??)

[Big Dave]

As witty as a Pixie.