Give me your analogies

[Ocean1]

Not above a bit of bribery and corruption in much the same way that the sea is not above the sky.

[Big Dave]

Looks like clean up day in Bosnia.

[Mr Merde]

As welcome as a fart in a submarine.

As useful as a chocolate teapot.

As welcome as a pork pie at a barmitzpha.

[terbang]

'As dry as a wooden God'

'Tastes like the inside of a Hindu's jock strap'

[avgas]

innocent as OJ (or MJ)

[boomer]

As charming as a rabid pitbull.
Uglier than the arse end of a bus.
As exciting as an accountancy seminar.

And a couple of KB specials:
As ugly as a Gixxer.
As well-built as a Harley.
As honest as a traffic cop.
As reliable as a Ducati.
And ... as gay as Boomer.

If wit were shit... you'd be constipated

[tri boy]

Feel'n Blue, as a new Tatoo.
Who sang that again.(christ my memory is shot).

[FlangMasterJ]

As sweaty as a dog in a Chinese restaurant.

[pete376403]

vibrates like a dog shitting a length of chain - referring to some motorcycle engines.

[Dilligaf]

You're all as funny as diarrhoea in a wetsuit.

[Big Dave]

Feel'n Blue, as a new Tatoo.
Who sang that again.(christ my memory is shot).

Jaysus - even I know that!

And my tattoos were more red than blue - for a few days.

[Ewan Oozarmy]

Sweating like an Aussie in a spelling test

(was "sweating like a Northerner in a spelling test" in England but I thought I'd better adapt to surroundings )

[Sully60]

She had a face like a dropped pie.

And how did that episode of the Sopranos go when Pauly Gaultirerie made reference to the large staure of johnny Sac's wife:
I heard her arse was so big she had a ten pound mole on it.

[Big Dave]

Sweating like an Aussie in a spelling test

(was "sweating like a Northerner in a spelling test" in England but I thought I'd better adapt to surroundings )

Whilst I appreciate the effort at adaption, I can't help but note the irony in such perspicacious aspersions coming from one who's 'whose' is, whilst most admirably clever, a Bohemian's phonetic.

Spell that, sunshine.

BOGA-whater will be on the case next.

[mstriumph]

................ anyone ever made any sense of still-enduring ones "cute as a button"? and "dead as a doornail"?

if so, please explain???