Give me your analogies

[Big Dave]

................ anyone ever made any sense of still-enduring ones "cute as a button"? and "dead as a doornail"?

if so, please explain???

Guess:

Button were big things once.

Doornails used on coffins.

I did learn why 'Grog' is called grog today.

[Hitcher]

Thick as two short planks.

[Ewan Oozarmy]

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.
As useful as a chocolate teapot.

[MisterD]

Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a rockingchair factory.

Lower than a rattlesnake's belly in a cart-rut.

***edit***

What about (the great) Bill McLaren's description of Doddie Weir: "He's like a mad giraffe!"

[ynot slow]

Who can forget Marc Ellis's comment on sports cafe "sweating like a rapist" or this gem as well "Lana what's your name spelt backwards?".

As pretty as the north end of a cow on a southbound train.

Dick Johnsons' bathurst beaudy "electrical problem,piston jumped outa bed and knocked the bloody dissy off".

[davereid]

Income tax = being fined for being productive

[mart1]

I'm out of here like a bald man.

[Goblin]

I'm out of here like a bald man.

Thanks for the giggle guys. Given too much rep an all Love the Ellis and Lana ones.

I'll just make like a golfer and T off, or like a shepard and get the flock out of here.

[marty]

All over the place like a mad woman's breakfast.

or if you work for the police or mental health - it's 'all over the place like a mad woman's shit'

[marty]

hot as a hot thing

i'm out of here like a shaved pussy

he's as good as a warm beer on a cold day

[pete376403]

She had a face like a dropped pie.

And how did that episode of the Sopranos go when Pauly Gaultirerie made reference to the large staure of johnny Sac's wife:
I heard her arse was so big she had a ten pound mole on it.

Ralphies one was better - "Her arse was so big it had its own area code" (in reference to the same person)

[Hitcher]

or if you work for the police or mental health - it's 'all over the place like a mad woman's shit'

I was being genteel (for once). "Sticks like ice-cream to a rug" is another favorite that my Mum uses.

[MisterD]

Ralphies one was better - "Her arse was so big it had its own area code" (in reference to the same person)

My Father-in-law uses "as wide as two axe-handles" to describe that condition

[Finn]

"Sticks like ice-cream to a rug" is another favorite that my Mum uses.

Does she use this when changing your sheets? Naughty boy.

[avgas]

As useful as a spirograph