Shit, shit and more shit

[SARGE]

You know when you were out of work...I enjoyed your soft side.....

that wasnt a soft side man .. that was a boiling cauldron.. when i get quiet and introspective like that its usually time to find a rock to hide behind

[NotaGoth]

Kitty, I hope you have picked out some of the good advice posted here and are thinking about your next steps.

I think you should see your doctor and talk to a counsellor. It is true that talking to a non-judgemental sympathetic listener can make a real difference. You might need anti-depressants for a short time, but possibly not at all. Whatever, don't be afraid to ask for help.

Starting this thread showed courage and that you can reach out.

As for going to live with your mother, you are feeling very vulnerable at the moment and if that will make you feel secure and protected, then do it. You need to build your strength up and are under a lot of stress in your current environment. You have to change that.

In the longer term, moving somewhere else is probably a great thing to do. It will open your eyes - the world is full of good people and opportunities. At 20 you have youth and vigour on your side even if you don't realise it.

I notice you keep referring to something you can't forget or move on from. In my opinion, you shouldn't just try to forget it because all that will happen is suppression of feelings which will leap out later. Instead try counselling, talking to friends/family, work out your feelings and eventually acceptance will come. Not easy but it does happen.

I'm back and forth between houses.. Today I decided to make "our flat" just that (our flat) Went through tidying up and putting out photos and stuff.. Even had a me day today, and put colour through my hair..

Had my day ruined.. Some cunts been through our house while Dan was at work and I was there on my own.. Obviously looking for something that they didn't manage to find.. More than likely while I was in the shower none the wiser as to what was going on.. Not the greatest feeling.. Txt my partner to make sure he hadn't shifted what was shifted.. Wasn't him.. Ran into our landlord and asked if he'd been in the flat.. Wasn't him either.. And it definately wasn't me.. Partner is extremely upset...

We'll hopefully be moving house again in another 6 months.. Another place has come up so we'll be taking it when its ready.. Least I'll be back on a farm..

I've decided to change jobs (yes I know, yet again) but a few things happened my last shift at work became the final straw on that front.. I'll be job hunting again.. Why work where you aren't exactly happy..?

I agree with you completely on "just forgetting" things.. You don't just forget.. There is a day where those things that you "forgot" about come back and slap you in the face. And you realize that you didn't actually forget at all.. You just hid what you feel.. I know cause I'm to used to doing that..

I've had a bit of time to think about a few things... I've got a few ideas.. Its just using those ideas to create what I need in life.. We shall see.. There is a few loose ends that I intend on tieing up over the next few weeks..

[Laava]

My partner suffers from depression as well and was at its worst 10 yrs ago or so, when her kids were fully dependent on her{She was widowed} and she slowly lost it until she couldn't function and had a breakdown. Her Dr, a young woman, was quick to recognise the problem and cheerily told her how to go about sorting things out, medication and assistance, and she was back on her feet in a couple of weeks. Now she recognises the start of it and can action it straightaway. One of her family is now suffering the same and she is an absolute rock for that person, as no-one else could be. Something positive can come from all experiences, but we all find that out for ourselves. Don't be afraid to be medicated, in my partners case, it is only necessary to get the show back on the road. She is very open about her experience as she was absolutely at rock bottom and learnt to deal with it. Hope this helps, will be going to Mangonui fish and chip shop on Sat hopefully, might see you there!

[inlinefour]

I'm back and forth between houses.. Today I decided to make "our flat" just that (our flat) Went through tidying up and putting out photos and stuff.. Even had a me day today, and put colour through my hair..

Had my day ruined.. Some cunts been through our house while Dan was at work and I was there on my own.. Obviously looking for something that they didn't manage to find.. More than likely while I was in the shower none the wiser as to what was going on.. Not the greatest feeling.. Txt my partner to make sure he hadn't shifted what was shifted.. Wasn't him.. Ran into our landlord and asked if he'd been in the flat.. Wasn't him either.. And it definately wasn't me.. Partner is extremely upset...

We'll hopefully be moving house again in another 6 months.. Another place has come up so we'll be taking it when its ready.. Least I'll be back on a farm..

I've decided to change jobs (yes I know, yet again) but a few things happened my last shift at work became the final straw on that front.. I'll be job hunting again.. Why work where you aren't exactly happy..?

I agree with you completely on "just forgetting" things.. You don't just forget.. There is a day where those things that you "forgot" about come back and slap you in the face. And you realize that you didn't actually forget at all.. You just hid what you feel.. I know cause I'm to used to doing that..

I've had a bit of time to think about a few things... I've got a few ideas.. Its just using those ideas to create what I need in life.. We shall see.. There is a few loose ends that I intend on tieing up over the next few weeks..

Met you a few times and your a far too nice a person for me to accept that its a case of bad things happening to a bad person. Now I suppose its a case of shitty things happening and we all know that up that way there are more than the fair share of arseholes. I'm also quite sure that while things are a mess up there and there is a state of panic/disaster/disruption/destruction that there will be wankers abusing the situation by ooting/stealing and any other illegal activities that they can get themselves into. Well I'm one who is allways there for you, even if I might not be able to get up there in person. If there is anything I can do for you, please ask.

[candor]

A few comments and will PM the rest.

Manage stress like you're doing to prevent depression.

As far as "fixing" the past thing that may not be posdsible at this time. But there is a good Maori saying - ma te wa, which really says that one day the time will be right. Some more events in life may need to happen for you or others before an answer presents.

Its not really in your power to rush and cause it to resolve obviously - some things take years to get sorted as there are blockers but life is evolutionary and has a pattern in the chaos so often it will happen not even thru your own agency and take you by surprise. In the meantime try filing it (its not going anywhere) with faith it'll somehow get sorted oneday.

[NotaGoth]

Met you a few times and your a far too nice a person for me to accept that its a case of bad things happening to a bad person. Now I suppose its a case of shitty things happening and we all know that up that way there are more than the fair share of arseholes. I'm also quite sure that while things are a mess up there and there is a state of panic/disaster/disruption/destruction that there will be wankers abusing the situation by ooting/stealing and any other illegal activities that they can get themselves into. Well I'm one who is allways there for you, even if I might not be able to get up there in person. If there is anything I can do for you, please ask.

I guess when I posted the whole flood thing up here was the icing on the cake... Very stressful situation..

Its people knowing my partners habits coming through our house seeing what they can find.. Fact is they won't ever find jack shit... So hopefully they'll quit wasting their time... Dans finally realized the effect its having/had on me... He's upset that I'm now uncomfortable in my own home, specially when our dog goes missing during the 40 minutes that this could have happened in...

Thanks John... Same thing goes for you, always..

*HugZ*

Love *T*

[inlinefour]

I guess when I posted the whole flood thing up here was the icing on the cake... Very stressful situation..

Its people knowing my partners habits coming through our house seeing what they can find.. Fact is they won't ever find jack shit... So hopefully they'll quit wasting their time... Dans finally realized the effect its having/had on me... He's upset that I'm now uncomfortable in my own home, specially when our dog goes missing during the 40 minutes that this could have happened in...

Thanks John... Same thing goes for you, always..

*HugZ*

Love *T*

Found that out after breaking my back and the impact it has had on my life and those who are or were close to me. We all at the end of the day have to make the best of the shitty situation and move on. You will get to where you want to be, I'm sure of that. Just got to keep the faith and never loose hope.

HugZ straight back at ya and I hope this bloke is treating you right and as the lady that I know you are. If not I can allways give him a tune up for you.

Love John.