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Thread: Whoever you are if you don't laugh at this

  1. #1
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    Whoever you are if you don't laugh at this

    there is summit wrong with you!!!



    This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
    The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
    The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
    Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because It was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
    The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
    Then one Thanksgiving she was in the kitchen making turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
    She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
    Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
    The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
    After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
    About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
    He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
    "What do you mean?" asked his wife.
    "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened.
    But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.
    i wouldnt want to be caught dead in the same grave as me.

  2. #2
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    Repost!!!!!
    There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? -Clerks

  3. #3
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    is it?

    ive never seen it before.....
    i wouldnt want to be caught dead in the same grave as me.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZeroIndex View Post
    Repost!!!!!

    Lee posts so many jokes that even he may forget which ones he has posted....

  5. #5
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    I read it less than a week ago...
    There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? -Clerks

  6. #6
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    are you sure you read it here? not on another forum or in e-mail maybe?


    but hang on, i dont read every single post on here so i might have missed it................oh and i did try search.
    i wouldnt want to be caught dead in the same grave as me.

  7. #7
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    Searches don't always work. For instance, if I were to search turkey guts right now this thread would not appear in the results.

    Sever
    Now and forever
    you're just another lost soul about to be mine again
    see her, you'll never free her
    you must surrender it all
    And give life to me again
    Disturbed - Inside the Fire


  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waylander View Post
    Searches don't always work. For instance, if I were to search turkey guts right now this thread would not appear in the results.

    No, but interestingly enough....look what does!.. the 2nd thread from the top..
    Its gotta be in there somewhere....


    http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/se...archid=2474793

  9. #9
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    And here it is....posted on May 30th by none other than......


    #19 30th May 2007, 13:35
    canarlee
    kamikaze eat yer heart out

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    DON'T FART IN BED >>> >>> If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me >>> know and I'll pray for you. >>> This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. >>> The only friction in there marriage was the husband's habit of farting >>> loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and >>> the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every >>> morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it >>> was >>> making her sick. >>> He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She >>> told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow >>> his guts out. >>> The years went by and he continued to rip them out! >>> Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for >>> dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where >>> she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the >>> spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and >>> went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling >>> back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his >>> underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some >>> time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which >>> was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic >>> footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. >>> The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor >>> laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she >>> had >>> got him back pretty good. >>> About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood >>> stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip >> as >>> she asked him what was the matter. >>> He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me >>> and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. >>> "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my >>> guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, >>> some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back >>> in."

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by maha man View Post
    And here it is....posted on May 30th by none other than......
    OMGWTF!!! Carnalee... that's shocking... you posted this joke 2 weeks ago, and are making sure EVERYONE read it by posting it twice?

    The joke was originally posted by WRT in August 2005... but I wasn't around here back then, so you woulda got away with the repost if you hadn't posted it two weeks ago...
    There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there? -Clerks

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