Opening up- No one to talk to. I dont expect anyone to read or answer this.

[Mr Merde]

I'm sitting here in my home by myself. Partner at work and far from my family.

This morning I have had news of the worst kind. The cousin i have been closest to through my life time has just this morning, died.

He was 3 years older than I. When growing up he was the person closest to me that I looked up to. He started me on bike riding. He encouraged me to take up shooting. I lived with him and his family for a year and he helped me with my homework at that time.

He contracted the big C and has been very ill. I visited him in hospital last week and had planned to visit him today.

I couldnt as he passed away at 6:45 this morning.

Seven years ago we had a massive arguement and we havent until last week, spoken to each other. When i visited him in hospital we just forgot about all the shit that had passed between us and chatted as we used to. He told his younger cousin what to do, he was just my cousin. We were just mates again.

Now he has gone. Why did we let all those years go by just ignoring each other, I dont know. maybe we were too much alike. Too proud too stubborn to approach each other.

I'm 50 years old and I'm sitting here wiping the tears away and feeling as useless as hell.

Life is too fucking short to let stupid arguements ruin things.

MIKE, I thank you for looking after your little cousin. I thank you for teaching my that 22/7 is Pi and what it means. I thank you for letting me ride your Francis Barnett 200cc motorbike when I was 13. For showing me how to have fun with a .22 bolt action rifle. For putting up with me.

Most of all thanks for being my cousin.

Mr (aka Chris Breen)


Dedicated ro my cousin

Michael Moodie ( died July 21, 2007)

[crashe]

My condolances to you and your family.........




RIP Michael

[Mint Sauce]

My heart felt everything on this.

I'm about the same age and have had some similar experiences:

Father died while were in a non talking period after one of our regular arguments.

Just caught up with a mate, was my best mate and brother in law for a while, after 30 years apart due to a misunderstanding. He is almost half cut away now with cancer and the future looks grim. It was great to catch up but oh what a waste of years.

The things I've learnt:

Don't hang onto shit. The only one who really loses by anger is the one holding it.

I'm damn sure I'm not going to let my son have the pain of his father dying while in the midst of a non speaking period.

All the very best to you and hope the pain does not sit with you too long.

[Trudes]

Nothing any of us can say will probably help you at the moment, so all I'm going to say is that it is fantastic that you both had the opportunity to make peace with each other before he passed, a lot of people don't and regret it. So s to you Chris. Remember the good memories of a fantastic sounding cousin.

[janno]

I feel for you, Mr Merde. One of the nicest things I thought about when my mother died was a Torres Straight Islander belief that when someone dies, the person's spirit stays around for three days to be with the people that loved them and hear what they have to say.

Even though my Mum and I had a close and loving relationship, the thought that she was just checking up on things for a few days before she left for good was very comforting.

So keep talking to your friend like you are doing, he'll be listening.



Jan.

[Holy Roller]

My thoughts are with you at this time.

[Sniper]

..........................

All the best.

[tri boy]

Condolences Chris. Honour your cousin with happy memories that involved both of you. Don't sweat the lost time you had without him. You both gave each other special moments.
Sadness passes, but the moments in time that you treasure will remain.

[klingon]

Life is too fucking short to let stupid arguements ruin things.

Too right. And you didn't let it ruin things. It's wonderful that you went and saw your cousin Mike last week and had a chance to talk to him again. There is never enough time to say all the things you want to say to the people you love, but I'm so glad you had the chance to see him, and for him to see you.

Thank you for sharing those heart-felt words. I hope it will help some other people here to realise what's important in life.

My father is dying of cancer right now (deteriorating rapidly) and I'm trying to spend as much time with him as I can. I can't tell him how I feel about him, but I think he understands from my actions. Every cup of tea I make, and every pillow I adjust to make him comfortable, is done with love.

Sending hugs your way, Chris.

[Edbear]

Nothing any of us can say will probably help you at the moment, so all I'm going to say is that it is fantastic that you both had the opportunity to make peace with each other before he passed, a lot of people don't and regret it. So s to you Chris. Remember the good memories of a fantastic sounding cousin.

+1...






10char

[scumdog]

Condolences Mr M.


A part of life we tend to ignore is:

EVERYBODY is going to die sometime - just some die earlier/nastier than the rest of us expect.

Some people put death as far from their mind as possible - and it hits them so must harder when it does happen.

[Virago]

Hi Chris,

Thanks for having the guts to post that.

My thoughts are with you.

[Scorpygirl]

Condolences to you Chris. Hold onto all those special memories of your cousin.

[Mr Merde]

I thank you all.

Its been real hard opening this thread up to read what has been posted.

I spent my last hour with Mike talking about bikes.

Told him I really wanted to build a drag bike up. (he is the person who first introduced me to bike riding)

Told me to get an old Triumph engine. Bore into the cylynder and attach a superchaeger to the ne intake.

He called it " 2 stroke it"

never heard of this before.

He talked about his bikes to me, his favourite bike was a TS 185 Suzuki. He had a lot over his time here. he loved off road riding.

New Zealand has lost someone who was passionate about bike riding.

Now join me in one of my other threads.

The Sun Is over the Yardarm.

and raise a glass to my friend and cousin

Mike.

[jester67]

Forget the bad, celebrate the good. I am sure your cousin would have wished it that way.

In his last days he would not have wanted you to be sad - so try not to be. Grab a journal (or a pad) and write down as much as you can about the good times you had - when you read them again you will remember others and you can write those down. Then you'll always have him with you.