Quiz for males

**Big Dave** · 30th July 2007, 01:27

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.

6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
A. "I hope we can still be friends."
B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
C. "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Answers:

Yeah, sure.

**ZeroIndex** · 30th July 2007, 04:44

This has gotta be my favorite... it is just such a nasty comparison, gotta love it

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

**deanohit** · 30th July 2007, 08:19

Originally Posted by Big Dave

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Hahaha, thought they were all pretty funny until I read this one, bloody choked on my weetbix.

**tri boy** · 30th July 2007, 12:46

I answered C from 1 through to 10. Is that a pass, or just more lonely nights waxing the Dolphin?

**oldrider** · 30th July 2007, 15:58

Originally Posted by tri boy

I answered C from 1 through to 10. Is that a pass, or just more lonely nights waxing the Dolphin?

Don't think I scored well either!

Where do you buy your wax?

**ManDownUnder** · 30th July 2007, 16:00

Originally Posted by oldrider

Where do you buy your wax?

Wax???? Try butter. When you're done you wipe it on your bread and you're ready to put the jam on

**Conquiztador** · 30th July 2007, 17:39

They are the way to go.

**tri boy** · 30th July 2007, 17:48

This thread is gaining momentum, let the reins out a bit, and ride that pony. Yeeeha

**ZeroIndex** · 30th July 2007, 17:49

Originally Posted by tri boy

I answered C from 1 through to 10. Is that a pass, or just more lonely nights waxing the Dolphin?

Originally Posted by ManDownUnder

Wax???? Try butter. When you're done you wipe it on your bread and you're ready to put the jam on

Dammit, couldn't find the South Park clip, but yeah:

Stan: Dolphins are intelligent and friendly...
Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonaise.