Second Rotorua child hospitalised

[ManDownUnder]

Who are the bumwipes exactly?

When it comes to neighbours.......
I have neigbours I don't speak to, not becuase I don't like them just because I never have. The old codger next door I've spoken to about three times in five years, so what? He's probably not into bikes and I certainly don't give a flying fig about his garden. We mind our own business and respect each other's privacy.

be nice to help if he wasn't seen outside the house for a week without good reason wouldn't it? Or if someone was in your house - should he care?

I think he should... personally.

[peasea]

be nice to help if he wasn't seen outside the house for a week without good reason wouldn't it? Or if someone was in your house - should he care?

I think he should... personally.

He gets regular visitors for (I assume) the purpose of keeping an eye on him. I can go weeks without clapping eyes on him, maybe that's un-neighbourly but I don't see it like that. If he needs something, sure I'd help out, who wouldn't? On the other hand I would go nuts with a Coronation Street-like scenario where people drop in all the bloody time passing on and picking up gossip. All we do when we go away is (sometimes) tell the bloke over the road and I get a mate up the road to swing by, have a nosey and grab the mail.

There is a connection with all this though, to child abuse. I doubt you could live next door to an abused child and not notice anything. There must be screams, yelling, fighting etc. I'd make a call if I heard shit like that, sure, but we've got three reserves within spitting distance. If I checked out every scream (they all appear to be fun-based so far) I'd get nothing done.

There's a fine line between being helpful and being a nosey Parker but your point is taken. One day it might save a life, right?

[ManDownUnder]

There's a fine line between being helpful and being a nosey Parker but your point is taken. One day it might save a life, right?

From what you describe... and that closing comment - we're on the same page.

[Grahameeboy]

If you are referring to the Christchurch case, the father pleaded guilty, and had previous unrelated convictions.

Honestly people, the whole "anti-smacking" line of argument is nonsence. What happened is that a defence in our law which allowed parents to use harsh discipline (horsecrop, fence picket, chains - all successfully defended) was removed. How could any decent person argue with that??

Murder is illegal - but it still happens. Why don't we just remove it from the Crimes Act - people are going to do it anyway.

Normally I'd cross the street to avoid Sue Bradford but on this matter I'm in full agreement. The whole point of the law change was to get the message across to all of NZ that hitting our kids is not OK. Our child abuse is frightful - anything which tells people to hold back, not hurt children, has to be good.

Yep, it as simple as you say it and although each to their view I just feel that there are too many knee jerkers on this site that are making something out of not a lot........just like most things.......sorry but don't some people see the wider aspects of the Bill.........what real harm is it going to do?

We have Speeding Laws. We may think they are stupid, and we certainly ignore but whatever the rights and wrongs, it is about making people aware and funnily enough a lot of people moan when they get a ticket for doing 111kph in a 100kph zone.............

We have 555 which allows citizens to report bad driving. I suspect we all agree with this, however, when it comes to kids, we complain that parents will be reported under the Anti Smacking Law.........seems that reporting bad driving is more acceptable.

We complain that we are told to do things by people who don't have kids and don't know about parenting but folks there are bad parents out there...maybe we think we are good parents but are not as good as we think?

At the end of the day a Law which raises awareness has to be a good think and this thread and many others on KB is evidence of this so the Law is working.

[devnull]

Where you off to? LA? Columbine perhaps? Waco?

Why not make a stand and try to help fix this place? If you bring your own kids up right and work hard there's not much you'll be short of in NZ. I can see some similarities between drunk driving and child abuse and as time is going by drinking and driving is slowly becoming less socially acceptable. When I was a teenager in the 70's it was almost a right of passage to be able to get home from a party pissed-as without getting plucked. Now it's frowned upon by most. People are becoming more responsible, in my circles anyway. If more people showcased the 'right' way to do things then maybe others will realize where they've gone wrong.

Turning our backs on drinking and driving won't fix the problem any more than leaving the country will fix child abuse or anything else.

Brisbane

Around the end of next year. Waiting for the 2nd child to arrive first.
Lots of stuff for the kids to do, good schools - pay rates are worse than Melbourne or Sydney, but lifestyle is better...

The problem with staying is that the social decline has taken more than a decade, and I think it'll take at least that much again to turn it around. My first priority is the kids, so staying isn't high on the list of options.

There's been literally mountains of research on this issue over the years. The problem is that a lot of the solutions aren't in line with certain political views, so they don't get considered. Until people pull their heads out of the sand and demand that the govt enforce THEIR views rather than it's own agenda, it'll be pretty hard to make the changes.

If you're like me, and were a kid in the 60's and 70's, no doubt you'll remember what it used to be like - close communities, not an overabundance of rules and regulations, kids showing respect, being responsible for your own actions, etc.

Now we have "rights" not "responsibilities", can breed for cash, teachers tell kids that parents can't punish them, the media regularly carries stories of abused children - even ones that are in state care aren't safe....

[Grahameeboy]

If you are referring to the Christchurch case, the father pleaded guilty, and had previous unrelated convictions.

Honestly people, the whole "anti-smacking" line of argument is nonsence. What happened is that a defence in our law which allowed parents to use harsh discipline (horsecrop, fence picket, chains - all successfully defended) was removed. How could any decent person argue with that??

Murder is illegal - but it still happens. Why don't we just remove it from the Crimes Act - people are going to do it anyway.

Normally I'd cross the street to avoid Sue Bradford but on this matter I'm in full agreement. The whole point of the law change was to get the message across to all of NZ that hitting our kids is not OK. Our child abuse is frightful - anything which tells people to hold back, not hurt children, has to be good.

Yep, it as simple as you say it and although each to their view I just feel that there are too many knee jerkers on this site that are making something out of not a lot........just like most things.......sorry but don't some people see the wider aspects of the Bill.........what real harm is it going to do?

We have Speeding Laws. We may think they are stupid, and we certainly ignore but whatever the rights and wrongs, it is about making people aware and funnily enough a lot of people moan when they get a ticket for doing 111kph in a 100kph zone.............

We have 555 which allows citizens to report bad driving. I suspect we all agree with this, however, when it comes to kids, we complain that parents will be reported under the Anti Smacking Law.........seems that reporting bad driving is more acceptable.

We complain that we are told to do things by people who don't have kids and don't know about parenting but folks there are bad parents out there...maybe we think we are good parents but are not as good as we think?

At the end of the day a Law which raises awareness has to be a good thing and this thread and many others on KB is evidence of this so the Law is working.

[peasea]

Brisbane

Around the end of next year. Waiting for the 2nd child to arrive first.
Lots of stuff for the kids to do, good schools - pay rates are worse than Melbourne or Sydney, but lifestyle is better...

The problem with staying is that the social decline has taken more than a decade, and I think it'll take at least that much again to turn it around. My first priority is the kids, so staying isn't high on the list of options.

There's been literally mountains of research on this issue over the years. The problem is that a lot of the solutions aren't in line with certain political views, so they don't get considered. Until people pull their heads out of the sand and demand that the govt enforce THEIR views rather than it's own agenda, it'll be pretty hard to make the changes.

If you're like me, and were a kid in the 60's and 70's, no doubt you'll remember what it used to be like - close communities, not an overabundance of rules and regulations, kids showing respect, being responsible for your own actions, etc.

Now we have "rights" not "responsibilities", can breed for cash, teachers tell kids that parents can't punish them, the media regularly carries stories of abused children - even ones that are in state care aren't safe....

I was a kid in the 60's and did the teen thing in the 70's. I left school at 15 at the close of 72. I still think NZ is a great place and some common sense needs to be applied to the 'new age' rules. I smacked my kids on the bum when they were young and now they're my best mates, you're welcome to meet us and see how we interact. I am in close contact with a primary school principal who was willing to go into bat for me when the excrement hit the air handler a while back in the Family Court. He can see what's what and I was flabbergasted when he offered me that support; a pillar of the community like that at your side is pretty good ammunition. I have told my children that basic discipline is not only a good thing, it is a requirement of life itself. Check out dogs and their pups, they nip and push etc., apes, cats you name it. It's part of life training. Abuse is something entirely different.

You make some valid points and I won't try and sway you from your decision to move to Oz, I wish you all the best. I've been to Brizzy a few times and can't wait to get back to Willowbank Raceway, I can see how the lifestyle would be attractive but I am seriously in love with this land and it's going to take more than a few silly rules to make me pack my bags.

Good luck over there mate, I hope it works out for you.

[peasea]

[QUOTE=devnull;1154340]Brisbane

Around the end of next year. Waiting for the 2nd child to arrive first.
QUOTE]

Just to take the piss; how does the second child arrive first?

[Guitana]

[QUOTE=peasea;1154425]

Brisbane

Around the end of next year. Waiting for the 2nd child to arrive first.
QUOTE]

Just to take the piss; how does the second child arrive first?

The second child may be a twin and arrive "first"!

[devnull]

Just to take the piss; how does the second child arrive first?

IVF, hence the wait. We had a fantastic midwife for the first one, who arrived 6 weeks early, so she'll be delivering the second one.
Was a very quick ambulance trip to the hospital - I can definitely say that even though I'd delivered babies before, when it's your own it's a whole new ballgame

Great to hear how supportive the school was - if only common sense was more prevalent. Sounds like the principal is a top bloke.

I reckon that if they overhauled the child care services and benefit system, the govt would go a long way towards combating this issue. That Canadian bloke, Dr Larzalere, had some great info on what did and didn't work in families. We missed the boat with our laws - instead of tightening them, we got a can of worms. The problem was never the law, it was the enforcement (something that I don't think is the fault of Police, BTW)

I've never been to Brisbane though we have friends there - have worked in Melbourne and Sydney, and visited Adelaide (the land that time forgot - sort of an Aussie version of Greymouth)

A mate in Melbourne has been telling me that the roads are better for riding too - big plus

[kro]

Nia Glassie died.

[Scorpygirl]

Nia Glassie died.

RIP Nia. May your life now be full of the joy that you never had in this life. Very sad news to hear.

[Pussy]

RIP Nia....you never had a chance to live in peace

[Skyryder]

This problem is not going to go away until there are some serious curbs put on those that are eligible for the domestic purposes benifit. It was after all bought in for married woman who for whatever reason did not have the financial ability to get out of an abusive marriage. Now it has become a lifestyle choice for many woman who have no interest in making any contribution to society by means of getting a job. It's open the legs, get into the pudding club, and off to the 'Agency for a free ride for the next fifteen or so years.

Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying that solo mums can not be good mothers but nature made two to have one and it take two to bring up one.

Skyryder