The BIG C

[Grahameeboy]

If it was terminal and there was little chance of conventional medical help then I would rather just enjoy what time I have left with my Daughter and give her courage.

I would probably go for alternative medicine and use nature to decide.

When my time is up I will accept it rather than try and cheat death with Chemo etc with the likely chance that I will end my days in a Hospice or at home fed with pain relief drugs not being able to enjoy my remaing time.

I would like my Daughter to remember me as her Dad not a remnant.

[Omega1]

I watched my Mother n law die from liver cancer in the local hospice , it was just seven weeks from her diagnosis until she passed away, it wasn't pretty I can tell you and scared me how quickly cancer took her from us.

Live life to the fullest

[judecatmad]

Assisted suicide definitely, once I had reached an unacceptable quality of life. If it's terminal of course - some cancers (like pancreatic cancer) ARE a death sentence and completely untreatable. But there are many that are truly treatable, with very high success rates. But assuming a terminal diagnosis, or I'd already had chemo/radio and it hasn't worked.....then I'd definitely like to go on my terms and not have those I love made to stand trial for helping me.

Watched mum waste away with pancreatic and liver cancer in the space of 3 months. Even morphine wouldn't stop the pain in her final weeks.

We put our animals to sleep out of love, why therefore can the terminally ill not choose to go in peace instead of screaming agony?

A very personal view. I wouldn't expect everyone to agree and I totally understand the moral issues around it all.

[Paul in NZ]

Some very touching and thoughtful replies here...

What a wonderful forum this is - especially lately - and above all it reassures me that our species aint all that bad eh.. KB rocks...

[bungbung]

My dad was first diagnosed with colon cancer, fast forward a year to liver cancer and one more year, this time a terminal brain tumour.

I was 20 years old when he died. In his particular case, I'm grateful for the eighteen or so good months following surgeries to the colon and liver.

The final six months were gruelling for him and painful to watch.
Having such a long time to come to terms with the end is both a blessing and a curse, at times you wish you could hit fast-forward.

[The Stranger:Me]

ok... inspired by Paul's thread ( sorry mate .. serious stuff there .. didnt want to step on it ..)


say you went to the doctor and got informed that you have advanced cancer.. you may be able to extend your life by a few months/ years by Chemo/ Radiation, but you quality of life would be shit and it would nearly bankrupt you..and your family

I would go straight to Mexico for treatment.

[Matt Bleck]

Almost 10 years ago now my Mum died from liver cancer, it started as bowel cancer, they thought they had got it, but it then started in the liver.

To watch her waste away in the 6 months it took was the hardest thing I've ever been thru. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. In the end she was so wasted on morphine that she didn't know who i was. I was glad when she finally passed, glad that her torment was over. She was 43 FFS!!!

If it happens to me, I don't want my wife and children to go thru that. I would rather dissappear, jump from a plane and not pull the chord, ride head first into a brick wall at 200 clicks..... anything to save them from the pain and angush of watching me waste away.

[SPman]

Whilst I would like to think I would go out in style, active to the end and farting in the general direction of death, once the Reaper is walking grimly towards you, sharpening his scythe, it's amazing how you then want to hang on to every last breath - if only to spite him!

Mom snuffed it with lung cancer. The surgeon convinced her they could take out a lung and save her, but it was an open and shut case! Luckily she went quickly after that, 2 weeks after starting to take morphine and 2 days after going on the pump. A strange twist was that a friend of hers, who came to see her 4 weeks before she died, went home,complained of feeling off colour, went to the Dr and was dead of cancer within 2 weeks!

A flying mate of mine, diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer at 40, wanted to go up in a microlight and end it all, enjoy the scenery before flutterin to earth, but by the time he wanted to do it, he was too weak to get it into the air....

[scumdog]

I'd give the treatments a shot if it was a real option of extending my life AND the quality of it.

Ride/shoot/drive/root until I was waay past it - then leave a tidy corpse for the undertaker with an instant 'lights-out' method..

Oh, and that is why I relish being well over 50 - I got there and treasure each day and know some on this site will never get that old, very sad.

[Goblin]

I watched my Grandfather, Pa, waste away to the point i didn't recognise him when I went into his room at the hospital. He was being treated for pnumonia and had been ill for three months. Only after he died, the autopsy revealed lung and liver cancer.

About two years ago my friend's dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer. He had several operations and treatments but kept getting sicker. The doctors told him and the family about an expensive ($40-50k) operation that might give him more time. Of course under this kind of emotional stress, it gave them hope so they borrowed money and paid for the op. He died on 25th September last year. Mum has had to sell her house to pay back the loan.

I have another friend in his fourties who had a lump removed from his throat a month or so ago. Now he's off to Waikato to have his thyroid removed this week. Hope he fights it and wins.

I voted for the bottle, bong and keys if it were terminal but having the balls to actually do it would be another story.

[Mom]

I lost my best friend to cancer 10 years ago, she was 38 when she died. She was given the "this is terminal" talk when she was first diagnosed. She had been fighting this disease for 8 long years and never gave up until about 2 weeks before she died. She gained 8 years of her children (11 & 13), but most of all we had her with us for that time also. I perhaps would have given in to it before she did, it was not a pleasant way to die.

My Mom is at the end of her struggle with it. Talking to her tonight she says another night like she had last night and that will be it for her, she will give up too. Her call, for us it is quality all the way. Her treatment nearly killed her, she has suffered horrendous side effects for the past 6 years, but has enjoyed more good than bad days so was content. The scales reversed some months ago, and now it is getting too much.

For me from a really personal point of view, take the treatment. I would want to spend as much time with my loved ones as I could.

[wilber]

Easy to say on here ,you dont know what you would do .
When I got told you have cancer I went through the what ifs and why the flock me ,lucky for me kidney removed the problem fixed and all clear to date .
So after that went to lifes to short thing bought the TLS and started to clear the wanted to do list ever since.

[NotaGoth]

I lost my dad 2 and a half years ago to cancer... We first found out after we came back from his fathers funeral.. And he ended up in really bad pain... He was given 2 months to live (if he was lucky..) I remember they operated and removed a tumour... But missed one... No one listened to him when he kept saying he was still in pain.. Eventually he had to be sent in for emergency surgery... It was what they found the 2nd time that killed him... They never caught it early enough...

Despite everything he braved it up, went through all the treatment... I never forget how sick the treatment made him... His blood thinned out really bad, to the point little cuts could be dangerous as he bled so easily..

It was the most difficult thing for him to have to go through... Sometimes when I think about how much pain he was in it breaks my heart... But every day he fought it as much as he could... Because he loved us... Despite everything there was never a day where he thought about giving up... Because with us is where he wanted to be, he didn't ever want to leave us...

He managed to spend a very precious 3 years with us.... Before his liver finally packed in... He had just turned 46.. And passed I think 12 days before my little brothers birthday.. I still love him and miss him everyday... What I wouldn't give to tell him how much I love him..

I think its easy for one to sit here and say "I'd do this" or "I'd do that" Until you actually go through it all for yourself you don't really know what you'd do..

The thing I remember most is the mess my dad was in during the 2 weeks before he past... I have bad images of the last things I seen, that I just can't get out of my head... If I knew anyone who had cancer who wanted to end their life.. I would respect their wishes.. I wouldn't think of them any differently... No one should have to ever go through that.. I would still always have as much respect for someone who ends their life because of it, as I would for someone who stood there and fought til the bitter end..

[ynot slow]

but the chances of survival/remission/quality of life are better now than even five years ago and getting better all the time.

Choose life! You'll never fail to be surprised by what it rolls up.

Agree there,I was told after a scan last year by doctor,you have cancer, growths in pelvic region,and couple growths in lung,had another scan and most likely scar tissue,12 mths later no growth,not every day you are told you have cancer and find out opposite.Thankfully my oncology doctor didn't rush into chemo,but wanted a couple of scans first.

Also at time my oncology doc said if I needed chemo it would be tablet,not introvenous like last time 4 yrs ago,that is the advances being made.

If I found out it was so far advanced,obviously treatment comes into it but if I thought assisted suicide was available over life of crap I'd hope family would respect my wishes,afterall I've been there before and know the effects it can have on you.