Telemarketer day

[Big Dave]

They are annoying me today - 3 so far.
I've been having fun doing an angry Basil Fawlty at them.

Just have to be careful If a customer rings I'm likely to do a 'yeswhatisitihaven'tgotalldaycomeonoutwithit.'

Why is it in cycles - usually a flood - anyone know?

[merv]

They always seem to ring us at home just as we are about to eat dinner so they get told to go away.

[Big Dave]

They always seem to ring us at home just as we are about to eat dinner so they get told to go away.

Bite their heads off - kind of an appetizer.

[crazybigal]

so were in wellington do you work? and whats your direct line?

[gijoe1313]

I just do the pizza order routine on them...

"Thanks, I'll have a pepperoni/hawaiian - thin crust and a side order of chips. Usual address please.." . Hang up.

or the "Oh thank god you called, I needed someone to talk to - I've got a shotgun pressed against my head and was just going to pull the trigger when you rang.....sob ... weep" . Stand next to door and slam it shut hard. Hang up.

and my "Sorry I'm in the telemarketing business also. You know the rules." Hang up.

I'm sure because of these responses, the amount of calls we get have fallen off dramatically (must be noted on some d-base "this household has a loony in it")

[Joni]

Yeah Dave, us too... we have had almost a dozen calls in the last 2 weeks... everyone from the kidney foundation to something about angels...



beginning of financial year maybe.... I dunno.

[Big Dave]

so were in wellington do you work? and whats your direct line?

0800 BIG DAVE

Ask for Public relations.

[ManDownUnder]

Be fun to put them on hold... then leave 'em there...

[Big Dave]

"this household has a loony in it")

Ha! - exact same thing I told South Auckland Area Health Service.

[Virago]

Aarrghhh! Don't get me started - oops too late...

You know as soon as you hear the Indian accent don't you...

Six calls from Telstra Clear in the space of two days last week! They just would not take no for an answer. Each time I got angrier and angrier. The irony is that they have irritated me so much, I wouldn't consider changing to them.

It's funny having two consectutive numbers listed in the phone book. Answer a call, "Congratulations sir, you have won a prize..." "No, not interested...click". Wait for 10 seconds, other phone rings, "Congratulations sir, you have won a prize..."

Often some bloody obscure charity - "Sumo wrestling for the disabled" or whatever...

Because I'm away from the office most of the time, I divert the phone to my cell phone, so those all these marketing calls cost me.

I probably receive an average of two a day, but as you say it seems to come in waves. I think they do a different letter in the phone book each day.

My pet peeve at the moment is spam faxes. Spam email is irritating, but people who send out spam faxes actually force you to pay for the paper and ink to print their advert! Where possible I fax it back to them over and over and over, until their machine runs out of paper... Most however are wise to that, and hide behind strict anonimity.

I'm being bombarded with "trade directory" calls at the moment - three in the last week or so. These buggers copy your Yellow Pages advert, and try to charge you for appearing in their own obscure and dodgy directory, requesting "re-approval" for the "exisiting listing". Borderline pro-forma stuff.

[0arbreaka]

You could just try the 'over the top super aggressive tactic' or just put them on hold, that seems to work but not as well as the aggressive tactic..

[Swoop]

My pet peeve at the moment is spam faxes. Where possible I fax it back to them over and over and over, until their machine runs out of paper...

A fun thing to do is to change the settings in your fax machine - the one that puts your company name at the top of the fax where the phone numbers appear.....
"Murderer of Telemarketers Co Ltd" or variations on that theme!

I'm being bombarded with "trade directory" calls at the moment - three in the last week or so. These buggers copy your Yellow Pages advert, and try to charge you for appearing in their own obscure and dodgy directory, requesting "re-approval" for the "exisiting listing".

Simply reply to their fax, saying "due to last years mistake on your behalf and our agreed refund of expenses which appear to have not been paid, your account is overdue and debt collection will commence forthwith"...

Telemarketers are fun!

[Morcs]

The way to screw the phone ones is to simply interrupt them.

As they are reading off a prewritten speech and trying to rattle it off as fast as they can, simply interrupt them and it completely throws them as they were simply reading a script.

Sorted.

[bell]

As my wife points out, they are only doing a job to pay their bills, raise their kids, pay off their debts, etc, etc.

BUT, the sooner NZ does what they've done in Oz and set up an "opt out" database, the better. These companies willw aste less of their resources too.

Wow! A win-win situation in the telemarketing game....who would've thought?

From some Australian site:
Telemarketers will have to abide by a national Do Not Call register in 2007, after the federal government announced it would soon introduce legislation to protect consumers.

The register would establish national minimum contact standards for telemarketers, on matters such as permitted calling hours, minimum information requirements and termination of calls.

The standards would apply to all telemarketers in Australia and overseas telemarketers representing Australian companies.

"A Do Not Call register, open to individuals and small businesses, will enable people to opt out from receiving unsolicited telemarketing calls," said the minister for the Department of Communications, Information Technology and the Arts (DCITA), senator Helen Coonan.

"Once a telephone number is registered, it will be prohibited for telemarketers to contact that number.

Bring it on.

[Big Dave]

The way to screw the phone ones is to simply interrupt them.

As they are reading off a prewritten speech and trying to rattle it off as fast as they can, simply interrupt them and it completely throws them as they were simply reading a script.

Sorted.

Doesn't help when my train of thought is already interrupted during business hours to take unwanted calls.

I was deep in web coding when Duli...... rang. F*** 'im and the verbal spammers he works for. I almost uploaded a page with a bad link because of it.

Anyway they don't get a chance to start - let alone be interrupted - that is why I only know his name was Duli......

It would be hugely co-incidental if it did end in 'unt' as I intoned whilst bodyslamming the phone.

;-)