Economic models explained with cows.

**placidfemme** · 15th September 2006, 10:10

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

_____

A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows. They get stolen, so you blame the previous regime' and steal someone else's cows and shoot the owner.

_____

A ZIMBABWEAN CORPORATION

A farmer has two cows.
You take over his farm, eat both cows and wait for the international community to supply more.

_____

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

_____

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

_____

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Both are mad.

_____

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You pray to them for food.

_____

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

_____

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

_____

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

_____

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

_____

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
The one on the left is kinda cute...

**unhingedlizard** · 3rd August 2007, 09:45

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market it world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Both are mad.

IRAQI CORPORATION:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the hell out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank. Then you execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder. He sells the rights to all 7 cows' milk back to the listed company, and proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.

NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.

AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate and stay out of the sun.

**paturoa** · 3rd August 2007, 21:06

KB Corporation:
Cowboyz
Cowpoos

**cowboyz** · 3rd August 2007, 21:19

at least I am on top for a change. Even if it is on cowpoos.............

**chanceyy** · 3rd August 2007, 21:23

Originally Posted by cowboyz

at least I am on top for a change. Even if it is on cowpoos.............

**Bren** · 4th August 2007, 09:14

Good old cow humour...I love it...

**eelracing** · 8th October 2008, 01:17

21 Economic Models explained with Cows

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island
Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States ,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then
buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.