Dating

[Boob Johnson]

If you shag most females, is this like seeking revenge sub conciously?

Certainly some seem to view it that way. Always puzzled me that one. After a break up I usually go solo for a while, take some time out, a bit a "me" time

[TRAINING WHEELS]

Ive been with my partner over 6 years now and we still go on dates every week. However i am lucky i do have a romantic partner who writes poems and letters to me every now and then.
I also go on dates with others (yes my partner is awear) i am some what a hopeless romantic deep down so dinner and movies, walks along the beach watching sunsets and late night swims are still alive with me and my dates including my partner.
I do not go to bed with my dates nor do i intend to and they are all awear i am spoken for.
For me dating is a meeting of the mind and soul its not physical but more than just friends....
Respect is the biggest thing as mentoned though....
Romance is out there kitty coume join us LOL....

[Ocean1]

Im not holding against him

I wont hold it against any other guy either.

I think I may see where your problem is dear...

[Busy]

Romance ....

You place a sweet note on her pillow - you get asked what you broke
You make a candle lite dinner - you get asked if you found her insurance policy
You run her a bath (with salts and flowers etc) and want to bath her like a queen - she thinks you don't like the way she smells
You try do a picnic on the spur of the moment - she doesn't have time to put her face on so thinks you want to show the world how ugly she is
You lay your jacket in the mud for her to walk over - she'll walk around it and make some remark about that was stupid getting your jacket wet and dirty.
You are on a very tight budget but you buy a single red rose - you get accused of cheating
You do the deed on a first date but after finding your way to the kitchen and grabbing some ice cubes you don't manage to find her room, instead her mothers - In the morning you get accused of being everything, including being the cause of cancer (according to the daughter), no lights, big house ... next time I'm taking bread crumbs
She comes home from work tense, you opt to rub her neck and shoulders rather than cook dinner - she will ask/think she is fat
You break up with her, so you use her tooth brush to clean the sink, you take her stuff back and you end up sleeping together, you feel bad so go to tell her until you catch her new b/f using that tooth brush - who said romance is dead

[Paul in NZ]

What are you expecting?

Love? Lust? Romance? Skyrockets and parades??? Its not like that in my humble but lengthy experience. True 'Love' happens as a result of time + respect... I fell in 'love' with Vicki the very second I saw her, it wasn't just that she was / is a hottie, there were plenty of them but it was just something.... BLING! Magic... However, that quickly fades if there is nothing else - we are each in the others debt and we both make accomodations to the other in soooo many ways... RESPECT, Understanding and TRUST... She knows I'm obsessed with bikes and that I held that back while the kids were young and I still do because we are not rich - but she indulges me and pretends she loves the festing piles of munt in the shed, I know she loves her antiques etc so I have become knowledgable there and have even 'restored (read ruined)' a few things for her...

Everyday i wake up and just thank my lucky stars I found such a partner (and I mean PARTNER) and every day I tell her I love her.... We have been married 27 years in august together 28/9... It just gets better and better...

So - keep looking and search for someone that is their own person BUT will allow you to be your own person as well, ie they respect you and who you are! All else flows from that...

[McJim]

If you shag most females, is this like seeking revenge sub conciously?

Personally I'd have called it luck in my younger days....

[Ocean1]

This has got to be the oldest topic discussed on the planet. And perhaps the one least capable of arriving at a consensus. For a very very good reason.

From an evolutionary perspective Men and Women require different things from a relationship. Once you get that worked out why should it come as a huge surprise that Men and Women have slightly different agendas with regards to a relationship. Sheesh, it ain’t rocket science, they want different things, COMPROMISE.

In order to propagate their worthy seed Women want a Man with genes capable of delivering the highest survival traits in their offspring. I understand Women have a highly refined set of measurement criteria they apply to prospective mates. I have no idea what those criteria are other than to note that apparently I personally don’t meet most of ‘em. She also wants him to STAY THE FUCK RIGHT HERE AND SUPPORT US. Which means ideally a manogymouse set-up where the Man’s focus is entirely on the Woman and her kids. Hence the high proportion of really scary “romantic” words essentially meaning “long term commitment” in most of the above posts by the concaved types.

In order to propagate their genes to best effect a Man wants to impregnate as many Woman as possible, preferably the ones with genes capable of delivering the highest survival traits in his offspring. The best strategy here is to fuck every Woman not substantially faster than him or not currently being otherwise entertained by a significantly larger Man. He also needs to do a tricky balancing act involving the number of offspring he can then support. The most genetically desirable ones (chase first) can readily be identified because every Man has a template hard wired into his neural cortex which diverts most of his available blood supply away from his brain. For this reason Men’s views on sexual relations are usually less than lucid.

So, can we recognise the emotive and physical triggers for each sex which effectively do the “choosing” without benefit of higher cognitive input?

[Winston001]

So, can we recognise the emotive and physical triggers for each sex which effectively do the “choosing” without benefit of higher cognitive input?

Good post (apologies for cutting it up). This question opens a whole can of psychological worms and the late Dr Freud would be all over it.

Every individual is shaped by their unique genetics as well as their own experiences. Depending upon the relationship with his mother, a man will look for similar traits in a partner - or completely different traits. A woman will seek her father, or perhaps the ideal of some other significant male in her early years.

Leaving that aside, there is research which shows that each culture has it's own criteria as to what the ideal male/female should look like.

[Ocean1]

Good post (apologies for cutting it up). This question opens a whole can of psychological worms and the late Dr Freud would be all over it.

I like worms. I'm less enamoured of Freud.

Every individual is shaped by their unique genetics as well as their own experiences. Depending upon the relationship with his mother, a man will look for similar traits in a partner - or completely different traits. A woman will seek her father, or perhaps the ideal of some other significant male in her early years.

Pure Freud. Grain of salt etc.

Leaving that aside, there is research which shows that each culture has it's own criteria as to what the ideal male/female should look like.

Does that surprise you?

Want to take a stab at the reason for the attraction of some females to males of a different culture?

[Winston001]

Want to take a stab at the reason for the attraction of some females to males of a different culture?

.............no.

[Ocean1]

.............no.

Coward....

[Joni]

Coward....

Well... spill it then!

[Winston001]

Want to take a stab at the reason for the attraction of some females to males of a different culture?

Ok ok.......hybrid vigour?? Exoticism?

[007XX]

Want to take a stab at the reason for the attraction of some females to males of a different culture?

Huh...care to give an example?...that seems to be a bit of a broad generalisation.
What I mean is some interracial attraction are a bit more obvious than others...For example Heidi Klum and Seal.

Where myself (french) being attracted to my husband (kiwi) would go maybe fairly unnoticed upon a first meeting with other people. And yet, we are from quite different cultures.

I think the answer to your question would have to come to the individuals preferences, which none of us can truly know.

Or did I miss something?

[Mr. Peanut]

Stop worrying about where "society" is going and do your own thing.