Dating

[Joni]

Straight girls want men, not other girls.

I suppose this is where the problem lies for me... men think if they are not what Kiwi society thinks a man should be, then they are girls.

Anyway, my comment was my opinion from my own experience as a foreigner coming to this country and seeing this "kiwi bloke" thing from the outside. I was disappointed by all the harden up, and stop being gay shit when someone tried to express something that may not be manly enough for the men.

Anyway, we are all different, no one solution fits all...

[inlinefour]

I always thought its between people who are commited to each other and love each other
not just who care about eachother.

....I think i'm getting old

There are plenty of us out there who agree (I hope), its just becoming much harder to troll through the others out there whom only think of themselves I suspect.

[Mekk]

I suppose this is where the problem lies for me... men think if they are not what Kiwi society thinks a man should be, then they are girls.

Therein lies another problem as well. Society is beginning to say to guys that they need to wear designer shirts, faded jeans and develop a caring and new-age perspective on things in order to fit in.

My point was that there is an increasing lack of manliness in this country. Perhaps not on the rugby field but more in the dating/social scene.

But yeah, I respect that that's your opinion and this is only mine.

[Joni]

I hear echos of Sarges thread a while back..."Whatt makes a man"... I suppose that answer is as individual as every person!

[Morcs]

Ive never had a problem with dating.

I date classy chicks - and the owness is on me to prove that I aint there just for a shag. After that its all sweet and the good times roll.

I almost miss dating...

But yeah I can see from a chicks point of view, especially in auckland where the majority of single younger guys are sleazy twats really...

[vifferman]

Things have changed....dating isn't what it used to be.

Friends with benifits, casual flings, where has romance gone?
Is the aim to get laid on every date?

What's happend in society?

Selfishness, I guess. Too much "What's in it for me?" rather than giving of oneself. And that applies to both sexes. I know ladies who after years of playing the field, going out with the 'exciting' guys suddenly realist that they're no longer young gurrllies any more, and the kind of bloke they thought they wanted isn't the kind of bloke that's best to settle down with.

Another thing is there are a lot of men and women who have been in one or more failed relationships without sorting out some fairly basic issues/shortcomings. They blame their partner for most of what went wrong, then move on to another relationship and get to the same point where there's a conflict or selfish act, and again it doesn't get resolved. So they're spending a lot of time looking for Mr/Miss Right, when the problem is with themself, so even if the perfect person comes along, the realtionship's still doomed.

I'm sure there are still people out there who are romantic (and the posts here bear that out) and who want a relationship rather than just a shag, but maybe they don't hang out in the places people go to find them?

[ManDownUnder]

I hear echos of Sarges thread a while back..."Whatt makes a man"... I suppose that answer is as individual as every person!

LOL yes yes yes! The ability to be that man (whoever that man is) is the chalenge. So many agendas, so many expectations etc. This may be what women went through a while back needing to comform to expectataions all around them.

It took me 35 years to get through/around/used to it. I still give a sh*t but a lot less than I did.

[KATWYN]

Selfishness, I guess. Too much "What's in it for me?" rather than giving of oneself. And that applies to both sexes.

Yea thats it!

[Sanx]

especially in auckland where the majority of single younger guys are sleazy twats really...

And so far you've managed to hide your true self, huh?

[BMW]

Relationships take work on both sides but when one is doing all the giving & the other is doing all the taking then its not a relationship at all. There is no communication or compromise .. everyone has become very self centred as long as they get their way they are happy if they don't they walk ... sad really

...

yes very sad. Most people live in a throw away world. When something or someone does not serve its purpose we get rid of it.

I do not like it

[Morcs]

And so far you've managed to hide your true self, huh?

Well im not an Aucklander

[Trippin113]

Fak that tarseal hurts when you hit it, getting back on the bike's the hard bit! .......and you wouldn't, not get back on the bike.....cos you remember what it was like before you hit the tarseal

[peasea]

Fak that tarseal hurts when you hit it, getting back on the bike's the hard bit! .......and you wouldn't, not get back on the bike.....cos you remember what it was like before you hit the tarseal

You've been dating/hitting tar seal?
More domestic violence methinks.

"Ooh, I just had my assphalt"

[Grahameeboy]

Fak that tarseal hurts when you hit it, getting back on the bike's the hard bit! .......and you wouldn't, not get back on the bike.....cos you remember what it was like before you hit the tarseal

Especially when you go through a red light

[peasea]

LOL yes yes yes! The ability to be that man (whoever that man is) is the chalenge. So many agendas, so many expectations etc. This may be what women went through a while back needing to comform to expectataions all around them.

It took me 35 years to get through/around/used to it. I still give a sh*t but a lot less than I did.

Ultimately you're looking to shag each other, it's what we are here for, to continue the species. However, as such it's important to get right, which I didn't when I married. Things/people change and the mix that once worked no longer did. Long story, now divorced. Today I think I'm more reserved/guarded and it's taken my new lady literally years to 'get in' but shag we did. Now, if some medical condition prevented shagging I love her enough to never 'discard' her.

I've shagged on first (sometimes only) dates, but I've waited for months in some cases, some relationships lasted, some didn't. Before I married my ex, we parted company at least twice; others 'filled the gap' and everyone had a good time. While sex is an important part of a relationship it's not the be-all and end-all of the thing. it's close though.

Having said that; I think I am a romantic generally, not soppy and wet but I open doors, do things around the house that I know 'she' will do if I don't, I don't alllow her to scrub the dunny (not a lady's job), I do most of the cooking, it's all tied in. Different couples have different recipies but I think I get a lot out coz I put a lot in. (Well, a few inches anyway.)

'She' seems happy....