Chivalry is well and truly dead.

[Deano]

Mrs Deano only has another 2 months before the due date of our first baby.

She catches the train to work into Wellington and back each day.

Yesterday she got on the train and all the seats were taken. She is obviously pregnant, yet not one person offered her their seat.

The train guard came along and clipped her ticket and noticed that she was preggers. Pretty hard not to when he can't get around her in the aisle

Guard announces loudly "isn't anyone offering you their seat "?

No response from other passengers so he repeats it even louder (much to Mrs Deano's embarassment).

At this point one woman 'realises the situation' and offers her seat.

Are people so blind or up their own arses to not see Mrs Deano's plight and assist ?

Maybe I'm extra observant by nature but I generally notice most of what is happening around me. (Maybe a motorcyclist survival instinct?)

Even when the guard made a fuss, men didn't jump up with an offer - it took another woman to do it. Oh and I use the word men in the loosest form, as these cretins are not real men.

Mrs Deano told me once how a lady on crutches was struggling to get on the train one day - seated passengers who saw her quickly put their heads back into their newspaper/work/book/arse in order to pretend they were unaware.

What is up with society these days ? Where is the love ?

[Cajun]

Yeah alot of people just seam stuck in the own world, and don't care unless it effects them personally.

Welcome to the 'ME' world

[vifferman]

That sux, Deano. But I'm sure if someone like you was there, he would've given up his seat. I sure would have (without being prompted).

But then I still enjoy holding doors open for people, and opening the car door for my wife.

[Blackbird]

...... and opening the car door for my wife.

Good man. That's something I enjoy doing for female passengers too.

[ManDownUnder]

Where is the love?

Good question. I feel like a parrot on this but... we need to get it back. It's nuts. Baby Nia was ignored byt he neighbours. Your wife was ignored byt he others ... despite both obviously needing help...

And yet here we are helping Mack, helping IL4, helping Shaun... etc. THAT's where the community is, where it starts and we just have to keep doing it... others are catching on I'm sure...

[Chickadee]

Yep, there are a lot of 'all for me' types out there.

But there are some good people too, I had trouble getting a seat most of the time when I was preggas working in London (commuting by railway), but not all the time. I'd say 30% of the time I'd get some nice person offering me a seat. I had to be quite vocal one night when trains were packed that - hey I'm pregnant - don't squash my and my baby and yes I was standing all the way home!

I'd give up my seat for a pregnant or elderly person for sure.

[MyGSXF:Me]

Mrs Deano only has another 2 months before the due date of our first baby... yet not one person offered her their seat.

Ignorant sods!!!

All the best when bubs arrives!!! ( ps: enjoy your bike while you still can.. )

[007XX]

it's not all gone burgers but it's close sometimes...

About 10 years ago, when I was pregnant, I had a similar problem and so to see how far people were going to go to ignore the situation, I feigned having belly pains...

I know it may sound horrible and manipulative, but my back was killing me and noone seemed to give a bat's arse...

At the first look of pain on my face, about 4 people immediately came to the rescue.

i think the moral on this is that living in cities, we are overloaded with demands on our sense of compassion, the stresses of dealing with a busy lifestyle and the everyday coping device in our heads just demands that we "shut down" the Give signal to selfishly reserve some for our own purposes.

It doesn't mean it's right or it's fair, but you wouldn't find this in rural environments...there people depend on each other, relationships are stronger as the close community makes you responsible for each other...

I hate cities...

[gijoe1313]

It's just not endemic to NZ... I was in Japan and I know the custom that it's a dog eat dog world for a seat on a train. I've seen old ladies, hit and poke with umbrellas and elbow their way into a seat. Don't blame them, can be there for ages standing and I've always wondered about the paradox of their polite face and the other shadier side of it (Honne/Tatamae).

I think I broke all social conventions and taboos when I was there, on the train, I would always give up my seat for the elderly, pregnant or those who looked most in need (hell, I got two legs and standing ain't no prob).

The look of shock, suprise and gratefulness I got touched me deeply. Also, the palpable air as the "shame" and loss of face my largesse created was interesting. They weren't to know I wasn't Japanese (was treated like one all the time I was there! ) so my behaviour must have been outrageous!

Don't know if things have changed. Will have to go back and find out again!

In a nutshell. Render assistance to those in need. If you are a bloke, get off your arse and give up your seat.

[McJim]

I blame the big OE. All these Kiwis go to London and pick up bad habits.

[Deviant Esq]

Where is the love?

Good question. I feel like a parrot on this but... we need to get it back. It's nuts. Baby Nia was ignored byt he neighbours. Your wife was ignored byt he others ... despite both obviously needing help...

And yet here we are helping Mack, helping IL4, helping Shaun... etc. THAT's where the community is, where it starts and we just have to keep doing it... others are catching on I'm sure...

I quite agree MDU.

Personally this sort of thing makes me quite cross. Not so very long ago IL4 came and asked me if it would be possible for me to escort him back to Taranaki from Christchurch, as he was not able to go it alone. He'd asked several people, but noone had been forthcoming - even family and closer friends - so he asked me to do it, and I did. Least I could do for a fellow KBer, nay, fellow human being in a moment of need. I was surprised, though, that he'd found it so hard to find someone to help him out, after what he's gone through.

People seem more and more intent on thinking only about themselves, rather than helping someone else in need... hell not even that, a little courtesy wouldn't go amiss. I make a point of audibly thanking people that make an effort to make room for me, it surprises them that I care and they smile.

Bring back the love.

[avgas]

Yep - i had good fun catching the bus on crutches, already full and no where where i could sit. no one got up and helped me fall down the steps or give me their seats.
Public transport is about as polite as a rectal exam.
Mind due isnt half of the hutt prego these days? lol (pt)

[yungatart]

I'm sorry for what happened to your wife, Deano, that really sux.
But it isn't all like that...when I was on crutches, endless people offered to help me all the time! I was blown away by it quite frankly.
And, no, it wasn't just in rural areas or small towns either, I even got assistance in Auckland!!!
I guess if we all do our bit, at least we are trying to make the world a better place...and succeeding, if only in a small way.

[Karma]

Welcome to the 'ME' world

Isn't that on the welcome sign at Auckland airport?

[Toaster]

i think the moral on this is that living in cities, we are overloaded with demands on our sense of compassion, the stresses of dealing with a busy lifestyle and the everyday coping device in our heads just demands that we "shut down" the Give signal to selfishly reserve some for our own purposes.

It doesn't mean it's right or it's fair, but you wouldn't find this in rural environments...there people depend on each other, relationships are stronger as the close community makes you responsible for each other...

I hate cities...

I live in a rural area and the community feeling is certainly good. Having said that, historically it was better. We drift slowly towards a society of self interest and self importance over and above that of caring for our fellow man and woman and a love and commitment to our country which in my view has lost much of it's patriotism and sense of community and togetherness.

I remember the days I used to catch a bus to work in Wellington, the kids never stood for adults and the men rarely ever stood for women. I think it is a shame!