Unknown dads

[Skyryder]

The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details: These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check number 11, It takes the prize.

01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.

07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at EuroDisney maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilised.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

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Skyryder

[judecatmad]

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

LOL, along the same lines is the one about the young mum from West Auckland who's filling out her DPB form at the welfare office. She puts the names of her 10 kids down on the form and the case manager notices that all her kids are named 'Wayne'.
He asks "Doesn't that get a bit confusing for you?". She replies "Na, it's easy - when I want them to come in for their tea I shout 'Wayne, yer tea's ready' and when I want them to go to bed I shout 'Wayne, get to bed'. Saves me callin' em all one by one".
"Yes, but what if you do need to call just one of them for something?", the case manager asks.
"Oh, that's easy", the young mum replies, "then I just use their surnames"

[McJim]

Good job I emigrated to New Zealand - I was at at least 3 of the parties mentioned there.

[andrea]

holly fark! my covers blown that sex change and moving to nz didnt do the trick now all those bitches are going to have me up for child support for all my bastard offspring, and im only on the farken dole. oh man im never going to have my dream bike now

[Colapop]

I usually lift the covers before being blown!!

[Beemer]

I usually lift the covers before being blown!!

I thought you meant you lifted the covers before you farted!

[Lou Girardin]

I usually lift the covers before being blown!!

Gallantry is not dead.

[Switch]

Hahaha very good

[Korumba]

The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing the father's details:

These are 'genuine' excerpts from the forms.

01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.


02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.


03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3 The Poplars where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his phone number? Thanks.


04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a
BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the
Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.


07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.


08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?


09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at EuroDisney
-
maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If
I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 14 Miller Street, mine might have remained unfertilised.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

[Laava]

Don't the poms have the best sense of humour? Did you take these lines from Little Britain?

[Korumba]

just got it as an email...I agree about the poms sense of humour.

[ManDownUnder]

Hey - I was at that party at 3 The Poplars...

[Swoop]

Numbers 2 and 3 are class acts!

[placidfemme]

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

haha can one say.... slut?

They're all pretty good... exspecially the pope one

[ManDownUnder]

haha can one say.... slut?

They're all pretty good... exspecially the pope one

"Slut" is such a strong word. She prefer the boy scout motto of "Be prepared" although in this case she clearly wasn't.