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Thread: Why God made mums

  1. #1
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    Why God made mums

    Why God made Mums -- BRILLIANT Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions!!


    Why did God make mothers?
    1. She's the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.
    2. Mostly to clean the house.
    3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

    How did God make mothers?
    1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
    2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
    3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

    What ingredients are mothers made of?
    1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
    2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

    Why did God give you your mother & not some other Mum?
    1. We're related
    2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like me.

    What kind of little girl was your mum?
    1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
    2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
    3. They say she used to be nice.

    What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?
    1. His last name.
    2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
    3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

    Why did your Mum marry your dad?
    1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.
    2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
    3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

    Who's the boss at your house?
    1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a clot.
    2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
    3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

    What's the difference between mums & dads?
    1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
    2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
    3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to
    sleep over at your friend's.
    4. Mums have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

    What does your mum do in her spare time?
    1. Mothers don't do spare time.
    2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

    What would it take to make your mum perfect?
    1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
    2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

    If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?
    1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
    2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
    3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
    To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded

  2. #2
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    Ok pick out your fav.



    This is mine, bloody priceless





    Q: Why did your Mum marry your dad?


    A: She got too old to do anything else with him.


    To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boob Johnson View Post
    Ok pick out your fav.



    This is mine, bloody priceless





    Q: Why did your Mum marry your dad?


    A: She got too old to do anything else with him.


    Mine is the same question but this answer:
    3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

    A funny read, cheers.

  4. #4
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    I thought God made mums just to test us?
    "Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"

  5. #5
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    Oh, very funny! Most excellent!!

    your fav is mine, too. Or else, that she has to know dads last name to marry him. It would help . . .
    Illuc ivi, illud feci.

    Buggrim, Buggrit.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boob Johnson View Post
    What would it take to make your mum perfect?
    1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
    2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
    I nearly sprayed tea all over my laptop.

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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by janno View Post
    Oh, very funny! Most excellent!!

    your fav is mine, too. Or else, that she has to know dads last name to marry him. It would help . . .
    Great minds think alike


    Quote Originally Posted by RantyDave View Post
    I nearly sprayed tea all over my laptop.

    Dave
    lol nice one, glad the lappy isn't swimming, they don't really like that sorta thing
    To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded

  8. #8
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    Why God Made Mums

    Why God Made Mums

    Enjoy the answers given by primary school age children to the following questions:

    Why did God make mothers?
    1. She's the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.
    2. Mostly to clean the house.
    3. To help us out of them when we were getting born.


    How did God make mothers?
    1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
    2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
    3. God made my mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.


    What ingredients are mothers made of?
    1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel-hair and everything nice in the world, and one dab of mean.
    2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.


    Why did God give you your mother and not some other mum?
    1. We're related.
    2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like me.


    What kind of little girl was your mum?
    1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
    2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
    3. They say she used to be nice.


    What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?
    1. His last name.
    2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
    3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?


    Why did your mom marry your dad?
    1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mum eats a lot.
    2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
    3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.


    Who's the boss at your house?
    1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goofball.
    2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
    3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.


    What's the difference between mums and dads?
    1. Mums work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.
    2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
    3. Dads are taller and stronger, but mums have all the real power cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.


    What does your mum do in her spare time?
    1. Mothers don't do spare time.
    2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.


    What would it take to make your mum perfect?
    1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
    2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.


    If you could change one thing about your mum, what would it be?
    1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
    2. I'd make my mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
    WISDOM IS KNOWING KARMA REALLY CAN'T GET YOU.

    SPEED KILLS, BUT YOU GET THERE FASTER

    DILLIGAF = Does it look like I give a FUCK - Hell no!

  9. #9
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    As a Dad I resemble those comments.........
    Bought For The Parts.......

  10. #10
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    stop trying to get bling you bling whore
    Quote Originally Posted by 325rocket View Post
    Isn't it a rectum stretching pain in the ring piece when the mrs wants to slip in a digit and wont use lube
    Quote Originally Posted by gatch View Post
    I don't need pills to make me blow massive loads
    Cold Kiwi

    Everyone loves duck sauce, is the amazing or is this amazing?!

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