Couples separating - UPDATE

[young1]

You may remember my post re when couples separate what happens to wedding rings etc.

First thank you to everyone who replied with such nice comments and also to everyone who sent me private messages, it certainly made me feel good that there are such nice people out there.

This week I have been patient with her etc and as she had already taken all of her jewellery from the house I suggested that we should both make a list of what she has so we can take it all into account when the final wash up comes.

Well GOOD NEWS today she has said that I can have the KTM if she can have the jewellery!!!!!! I have said yes but she has to put it in writing.

So the 2007 990 Adventure KTM with less than 3000km on it is now mine and not included in any future division of assets!!

[Sniper]

Awesome news matey. Get a lawyer or someone to witness the signing ect.

Sorry again to hear about the break up

[Virago]

...today she has said that I can have the KTM if she can have the jewellery!!!!!!...

"You took the KT, and left her the jewels to hide..." (Blues Brothers)

[Swoop]

Well GOOD NEWS today she has said that I can have the KTM if she can have the jewellery!!!!!! I have said yes but she has to put it in writing.

So the 2007 990 Adventure KTM with less than 3000km on it is now mine and not included in any future division of assets!!

Be VERY careful.
Before signing anything, get your lawyer to approve it.

[merv]

Yep, well you couldn't have ridden the jewellery so should be a good outcome.

[young1]

Son told me today that my ex wife (first time I have said that) came into the house today to get some of her clothes and she also took her riding gear!!! Helmet, brand new boots and pants and a borrowed jacket.

That prick she is with better not be a biker (if so I bet he rides a Honda!!)

[HenryDorsetCase]

Im putting this message up in public rather than a PM because it is probably of general interest.

There are very specific requirements around divvying up stuff, and contracting out. They arent that onerous, but it WILL cost you some money to sort out. Get a lawyer.

I tend to class this sort of stuff (jewellery/vehicles) in the "easy to deal with" part of the equation: she probably doesnt give a shit abuot your bike, and you dont give a crap about the jewellery really.

So thats a win/win.

the shitfight will happen with the house, superannuation, investments, inheritances you might have received (hint: if one of you got an inheritance, and you say paid off a joint mortgage, the inheritance is to all intents and purposes now joint property): not so if it just sits in a separate bank account or whatever.

Get a lawyer, because of course you are going to get a reaming from the IRD and you want to make sure at least its the minimum pain.

its also past time for you to stop any joint credit cards, freeze any joint bank accounts, and generally to be on the ball to ensure you dont get reamed (conversely its up to you to ensure you dont do anything nasty, even if you are tempted).

I think I mentioned get a lawyer? Seriously....

PM me if you want advice, and try and get a recommendation from someone you know for a lawyer.

Good luck, the whole situation completely sucks, but its a process, you just have to take it a step at a time.

[Zukin]

Son told me today that my ex wife (first time I have said that) came into the house today to get some of her clothes and she also took her riding gear!!! Helmet, brand new boots and pants and a borrowed jacket.

That prick she is with better not be a biker (if so I bet he rides a Honda!!)

Well I would suggest you get that 990 signed over (all legal begal), cause if he is a rider then he will be egging her on to get it

Also I think its time for a trip down South and let your hair down (even the lack of it ), what da ya reckon about the Burt Munro Rally in November?

Cheers Scott

[HenryDorsetCase]

Be VERY careful.
Before signing anything, get your lawyer to approve it.

any purported contracting out or settlement agreement is invalid UNLESS a lawyer witnesses it, AND endorses a certificate that they've explained the "effect and implication" of the agreement to the person they represent. Its manadated in the PRA*

There is some fascinating, and in my view very wrong, caselaw around what this means, which I wont bore you with....


*Property (Relationships) Act 1976.


if anyone wants to look at the act itself, go to www.legislation.govt.nz, hit "statutes" then scroll to P and look for the PRA.

[young1]

Im putting this message up in public rather than a PM because it is probably of general interest.

There are very specific requirements around divvying up stuff, and contracting out. They arent that onerous, but it WILL cost you some money to sort out. Get a lawyer.

I tend to class this sort of stuff (jewellery/vehicles) in the "easy to deal with" part of the equation: she probably doesnt give a shit abuot your bike, and you dont give a crap about the jewellery really.

So thats a win/win.

the shitfight will happen with the house, superannuation, investments, inheritances you might have received (hint: if one of you got an inheritance, and you say paid off a joint mortgage, the inheritance is to all intents and purposes now joint property): not so if it just sits in a separate bank account or whatever.

Get a lawyer, because of course you are going to get a reaming from the IRD and you want to make sure at least its the minimum pain.

its also past time for you to stop any joint credit cards, freeze any joint bank accounts, and generally to be on the ball to ensure you dont get reamed (conversely its up to you to ensure you dont do anything nasty, even if you are tempted).

I think I mentioned get a lawyer? Seriously....

PM me if you want advice, and try and get a recommendation from someone you know for a lawyer.

Good luck, the whole situation completely sucks, but its a process, you just have to take it a step at a time.

Thanks for the advice, I do work for a law firm but we dont do Family Law, I have been to see a lawyer and have found out some of the things that I need to be aware of. The most important thing that I was told was not to rush into anything (advice that I am now taking).

She has given me a letter that she has signed, that I will also sign and return to her, saying that basically the jewellery is hers and the KTM is mine and neither is to be taken into account in any distribution of assets.

Credit cards etc were stopped last week, overdraft facility was dropped right down etc etc

Mike

[HenryDorsetCase]

good effort. You might want to retain some sort of evidence (insurance valuations/bike shop quote for second hand value) as to values (just in case it does go all to shit later...)

[young1]

good effort. You might want to retain some sort of evidence (insurance valuations/bike shop quote for second hand value) as to values (just in case it does go all to shit later...)

Yes I have already had the two cars valued, and I will lose a packet on my 03 Subaru Impreza STI!! have noted the mileage of the KTM etc.

[mstriumph]

problem is your future depends on you thinking/acting coolly and logically now ---- just when you are prolly still stunned and battered emotionally from the sudden way your life has changed & just wanna curl up in a ball and hide

but that's the way it is
so stay strong
and save the pissup until after the paperwork is done and dusted

hugs fella

[young1]

problem is your future depends on you thinking/acting coolly and logically now ---- just when you are prolly still stunned and battered emotionally from the sudden way your life has changed & just wanna curl up in a ball and hide

but that's the way it is
so stay strong
and save the pissup until after the paperwork is done and dusted

hugs fella

Yep I am taking things slowly now. Yep a few quiet rums will be well worth it once everything is finalised (but I am not looking forward to the day I see her with that prick downtown!!! or worse on a ride somewhere!)

[mstriumph]

walk it thru in your head
think what you will do to keep control of yourself
it sounds crazy but a little 'rehearsal' can save a whole lot of grief when the situation eventually DOES eventuate.