The grief cycle & paraplegia

**Coaster** · 8th September 2007, 01:30

I am writing this on behalf of Inline 4 who wants to let you all know that getting used to being a paraplegic was the easy part!

Getting through the grief cycle is the HARD part. John was put on Amitriptylline (an anti-depressant which is also used for reducing neurological pain) for his neurological pain while in ICU and it was continued while he was at Burwood. Problem was he was extremely sensitive to it and it made him hypermanic and then some. This meant that he became overly happy and thought that everything was great and wonderful and that he was coping so well (some of us call this denial)

. To those of you that visited him you would have noticed the non-stop talking and the fact that he just couldn't slow down. Also got sleep-deprived because he was too busy to waste time sleeping much

Problem was his sister Rachel and I finally convinced them that he was hypermanic so they took him off the medication. He then became irritable, nasty and angry (especially at me - hence deciding everything that happened was my fault

leading to him dumping me!!)

John then came home and became very depressed being the other extreme and was then suspicious, hypervililant and paranoid. So to all those people who he offended through the various sites over the past few months he wants to let you all know that he is really sorry

Thankfully he is getting there and becoming more like the John I knew and fell in love with

so I am giving him another chance so please if he has pissed (am I allowed to use that word 'Mods'?) any of you off - more than he usually does!, please give him another chance - those that know him well will agree he is a really awesome guy and values the comradarie that usually is abundant on this site (there is a few exceptions but then there always will be!)

Catch you around on-site
Cheers Donna/Coaster

**Winston001** · 8th September 2007, 02:23

That is very touching Donna, thanks for the post. I don't know either of you but I wish you the best and John has to be one helleva lucky guy to have you around.

**skidMark** · 8th September 2007, 03:31

i wondered what had been going on for a while because he was having a fair few digs, but hes been great as of recent...

SM

**riffer** · 8th September 2007, 06:01

Thanks for the update Donna.

FWIW, I never really knew John well before his accident and only met him afterwards so if he didn't manage to turn me off then he can't be so bad.

Besides my 9 year old daughter thought he was really cool and she's a pretty good judge of character.

You guys both look after yourselves and each other okay?

**Edbear** · 8th September 2007, 09:00

I have been through a similar experience in that I was in a wheelchair and taking 16 pills a day including potent painkillers. I was spending up to 22 hrs a day in bed and injecting myself in the leg every few days for Migraines. I thought I was going to die and was very depressed.

I wasn't on anti-depressents but do know a bit about the side effects of Amytriptilline and it's not a pleasant drug.

I feel for you both and those who care for John. While I got out of the chair and back to work, life has been a struggle and I have just been told I have Cushing's syndrome and am awaiting test results to see what they are going to do about it. (It explains a lot).

Knowing the cause of John's mood swings can help you to ignore them and keep yourself even. Letting John talk as much as possible will help him to work through the issues he faces. There is no easy answer and I wish I could say something that would "fix" it but just constant reassurance and being there, being flexible and remaining positive will help.

If John feels like venting, I'm sure the mods and members here will say, "Go for it, mate!" They'd probably even encourage it...

**Grahameeboy** · 8th September 2007, 09:05

It is up to the receiver to decide how to deal with digs eh?

How anyone could be offended by IL4 is beyond me when there has to be consideration for what he has been through............

**inlinefour** · 8th September 2007, 12:57

Originally Posted by Coaster

I am writing this on behalf of Inline 4 who wants to let you all know that getting used to being a paraplegic was the easy part!

Getting through the grief cycle is the HARD part. John was put on Amitriptylline (an anti-depressant which is also used for reducing neurological pain) for his neurological pain while in ICU and it was continued while he was at Burwood. Problem was he was extremely sensitive to it and it made him hypermanic and then some. This meant that he became overly happy and thought that everything was great and wonderful and that he was coping so well (some of us call this denial)

. To those of you that visited him you would have noticed the non-stop talking and the fact that he just couldn't slow down. Also got sleep-deprived because he was too busy to waste time sleeping much

Problem was his sister Rachel and I finally convinced them that he was hypermanic so they took him off the medication. He then became irritable, nasty and angry (especially at me - hence deciding everything that happened was my fault

leading to him dumping me!!)

John then came home and became very depressed being the other extreme and was then suspicious, hypervililant and paranoid. So to all those people who he offended through the various sites over the past few months he wants to let you all know that he is really sorry

Thankfully he is getting there and becoming more like the John I knew and fell in love with

so I am giving him another chance so please if he has pissed (am I allowed to use that word 'Mods'?) any of you off - more than he usually does!, please give him another chance - those that know him well will agree he is a really awesome guy and values the comradarie that usually is abundant on this site (there is a few exceptions but then there always will be!)

Catch you around on-site
Cheers Donna/Coaster

It took me along time to admit this, but thats pretty much what happened. Now I have the job of sorting my head out. Have reciently been thinking about what is important and what is not, which is one of the reasons why I've forced myself to finally first be honest with myself and then be honest with others. Breaking my back has been a life changing experience, in more ways than one. I know its been almost 10 months since I broke my back, but the recovery is still going on. Yes, I used to carry on that things was fine, but at the end of the day I was not wanting to face the truth, guess the truth really does hurt, eh? So yes, if I have offended anyone, I apologie. Now I have the job of going through recovery of the accident properly. I'm getting the help I need and going back through some of the stuff that I did in Burwood. I know that I have reciently been told of things that have happened in Burwood and some of them, for the life of me, I cannot recall. For all my training, it did nothing but help me with my denail convince the staff at Burwood Spinal Unit that everything was fine. Well things was not fine and although I can finally admit it, I have no idea how long it will take to be fine. I'm not actually sure even if I will ever bother getting a trike built as now that I'm being honest, does not seem very important anymore. Was a hard pill to swallow (so to speak), but I have swallowed it.

**Grub** · 8th September 2007, 13:07

Well bugger it John, we're still coming to visit ya!

**MSTRS:Me** · 8th September 2007, 13:15

Originally Posted by Coaster

I am writing this on behalf of Inline 4 .... so I am giving him another chance .....

This is great news, both of you. Just take one day at a time.
And John, you have probably just taken the biggest 'step' in your recovery.

**u4ea** · 8th September 2007, 13:24

I am really pleased to hear that you two are back together.It shows true and unconditional love..I havn't met you two yet but I will in time..Awesome news..am really stoked for ya's!!!!

**Mystery** · 8th September 2007, 14:22

I have never met you guys but I have read a lot of IL4's posts and have followed your progress since the accident with awe at your strength, positive attitude and forward planning. I cried when I read the posts that you two had parted ways. It just seemed so sad that you had both been through so much together and that it was over.
I am so pleased that you are giving it another try and wish you a long and happy relationship.

IL4, I cannot even begin to imagine how hard your struggle physically and mentally has been and will continue to be but I really hope that some of the positive can-do attitude you had, stays with you.

Please dont give up on your dreams or goals, anything is possible with ideas, help and support. They may seem crazy and unattainable now but never stop dreaming.

**mbazza** · 8th September 2007, 14:37

Hi to both of you.
Thanks for the update and the info. which we all as bikers need to take onboard. Recovery makes us different people in different ways.
Best of luck to you both and hope your future is what you want it to be. Thanks for sharing. Cheers.

**Nasty** · 8th September 2007, 15:55

Hey guys

Good speaking to ya today john ... I always find it good to check it and see how things are going ... the URL is www.dpchallenge.com really really good site ... lots to see and do ... have a look and let us know what you think.

**ynot slow** · 8th September 2007, 18:15

Anyone in Johns predicament can and rightly feel pissed off,nearly all medicines have side effects and varying degrees at that,have found his writings amusing anyway,mind you that could be my humour and reading between the lines at his piss takes,we all need to get a sense of humour at times,well done and good luck.