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Thread: Add your own short stupid jokes...

  1. #16
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    1st August 2007 - 21:17
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    Two cannibals are eating dinner.
    One says “I don’t like your cousin.”
    The other says, “just eat the potatoes then”

    * * *

    Q: What should you give an elf who wants to be taller?
    A: Elf raising flour.

    * * *

    A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.
    "Tiny" replies the man.
    "Why's that?" asks the bartender.
    "Because he's my newt!"


  2. #17
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    8th August 2004 - 17:16
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    Innuendo is an Italian suppository

  3. #18
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    27th February 2005 - 08:47
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    a dyslexic walks into a bra ....

  4. #19
    Join Date
    1st November 2005 - 08:18
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    At a party...

    A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man, standing alone.
    She approached him. "My name is Carmen," she told him.
    "That's a beautiful name," he replied, "Is it a family name?"

    "No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like
    Most -- cars and men."

    "What's your name?" she asked.

    He said, "Bob Titsenbeer"
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  5. #20
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    1st August 2007 - 21:17
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    Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money,
    between them they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro.
    Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea."

    He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large
    sausage.

    Shamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at all!"

    Murphy replied "Don't worry - just follow me."

    He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness
    and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.

    Shamus said "Now you've lost it.

    Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!"

    Murphy replied with a smile "Don't worry, I have a plan--Cheers!"

    They downed their drinks.

    Murphy said "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on
    your knees and put it in your mouth."

    The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.

    They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for
    free.

    At the tenth pub Shamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do this any
    more. I'm drunk and me knees are killin'me!"

    Murphy said "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third
    pub."
    ________


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