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Thread: Max Heslehurst needs finding

  1. 31st December 2008, 11:57 #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by firefighter View Post
    Buy as much cocaine, "p", and weed as you can afford, put it in his car or on his property then call the police.....that'll get him inside for a while......
    Thanks, you've just published our cunning plan on the internet, it's useless now!

    Back to the drawing board, guys...

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  2. 31st December 2008, 12:22 #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by ManDownUnder View Post
    So we set the IRD onto them? Funnily enough - I have some reasonably senior contacts...!
    Oooh yes, those bastards're more vicious than any coppers-they'll smash him good, and it'll all be untouchably legal
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  3. 28th June 2009, 08:46 #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by ManDownUnder View Post
    I don't believe it - I just got contacted by someone looking for Max... apparently he's "in Hospital".

    Just a heads up guys - this guy's still out there - he's facing charges - due in court 27 Jan '09 on 20+ charges from the Ministry of Economic Development, an ADDITIONAL 30+ from the Police...

    He's a confidence trixter extra-ordinare... meets women on on dating sites and totally beguiles them...

    Out of morbid curiousity - how does one find out WHICH court he's due to appear in?

    Hey MDU, this fat bastard features in the Sunday Star Times this morning. Apparently he has been sentenced to 3 years and 9 months in prision ( a reduced time as he is morbidly obese) after being found guilty of 41 counts of fruad. He is appealing his sentence and wants to be remanded at large (tee hee) until the appeal is heard. He is saying he needs specialised medical treatment due to his morbid obesity (200kgs) and this cant be provided in prison.

    Apparently it would be degrading for him as he needs help in going to the toilet. What a joke, man he is one fat fucker!

    In fact guess what one of his alisas is? Fat Max
    Quote Originally Posted by Gubb View Post
    Nonono,

    He rides the Leprachhaun at the end of the Rainbow. Usually goes by the name Anne McMommus
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  4. 28th June 2009, 09:23 #79
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    Hahahaha. I, also, came here to use the words "fat bastard" in the opening sentence. Holy shit! Strangely though I find myself agreeing with his lawyer that he shouldn't go to jail because of his weight:

    "his obesity meant other prisoners had to help with his personal hygiene when he used the toilet"

    See? Now that's just not fair. I'm not exactly a cheerleader for prisoners rights, but wiping that fat bastard's arse for him has got to be banned by the Geneva convention. I reckon get a diving pool, put him in it, remove the water and leave him there for ... ahhh .... three years and nine months.

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  5. 28th June 2009, 09:58 #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by RantyDave View Post
    I reckon get a diving pool, put him in it, remove the water and leave him there for ... ahhh .... three years and nine months.

    Dave
    Why would you remove the water?
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  6. 28th June 2009, 10:27 #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Owl View Post
    Why would you remove the water?
    Stop him from climbing out.
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  7. 28th June 2009, 15:00 #82
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    Mad Max Heslehurst

    Wasn't there a thread a while ago about finding this bloke? Doesn't your heart bleed for the poor guy....?

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crim...o-fat-for-jail
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  8. 28th June 2009, 20:26 #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edbear View Post
    Wasn't there a thread a while ago about finding this bloke? Doesn't your heart bleed for the poor guy....?

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crim...o-fat-for-jail
    Yeah mate - this is it... and no. It doesn't.

    Anyone driving any friend of mine to attempt suicide gets nothing but contempt from me. He's also very very well known as a con artist, twisting the truth to achieve all sorts of ends.

    If he can't wipe his arse in prison... what difference does it make if he's at home? Nope - sorry. I hope he gets taxed on all his ill gotten gains as well. 40% of $300k+ = OUCH!
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  9. 28th June 2009, 21:50 #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by ManDownUnder View Post
    Yeah mate - this is it... and no. It doesn't.

    Anyone driving any friend of mine to attempt suicide gets nothing but contempt from me. He's also very very well known as a con artist, twisting the truth to achieve all sorts of ends.

    If he can't wipe his arse in prison... what difference does it make if he's at home? Nope - sorry. I hope he gets taxed on all his ill gotten gains as well. 40% of $300k+ = OUCH!
    I have to admit I sorta struggled myself to work up any sympathy so I gave it up as a hopeless endeavour...
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  10. 28th June 2009, 23:03 #85
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    Mom you did well to remember this thread! I also saw his (eeek! ) photo in the paper today and thought "now that's a familiar name..." but hadn't quite put 2 + 2 together yet.

    Crikey the guy's huge!
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  11. 29th June 2009, 07:09 #86
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    Drop the prick in the ocean a few hundred yards from the Japanese whaling fleet...
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  12. 29th June 2009, 12:00 #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by ManDownUnder View Post
    Yeah mate - this is it... and no. It doesn't.

    Anyone driving any friend of mine to attempt suicide gets nothing but contempt from me. He's also very very well known as a con artist, twisting the truth to achieve all sorts of ends.

    If he can't wipe his arse in prison... what difference does it make if he's at home? Nope - sorry. I hope he gets taxed on all his ill gotten gains as well. 40% of $300k+ = OUCH!
    That's what I thought - who wipes his fat arse when he's NOT in prison? Get them to spend the time in prison with him! Or buy him a long stick with a sponge on the end and surely he can wipe it himself!

    I can't believe this waste of space is still living - wish he'd drop dead of a heart attack and save everyone the bother of looking after him.
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!
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  13. 29th June 2009, 12:23 #88
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    Poor guy needs a Comfort Wipe:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfGXmxJ1vM
    There is no such thing as bad weather; only inappropriate clothing!
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