Getting your knob checked

[Spuds1234]

I was just having a discussion with my brother about STD checks at the doctor.

He says that what they do is get a great big cotton swab and poke it down your knob.

Is this true?

[Grahameeboy]

They use a cotton bud and it is not an enjoyable experience.............

[caesius]

Um, I think they do a blood test. I don't see any medical point in carrying out the "method" you've described.

I don't think they'd have too many men lining up for testing if thats how it's done

[MSTRS:Me]

No truth in that tale at all.
What they really do is push a little umbrella sort of tool in as far as possible, and then pull it out. This scrapes out any infection that exists. Then a red-hot piece of wire is inserted to cauterise the de-scabbed nasties.
Hope this helps.

[caesius]

They use a cotton bud and it is not an enjoyable experience.............

Holy hell really? What is the point of this? I thought STI beasties didn't "reside" anywhere specifically apart from your bloodstream?

OUCH

[Grahameeboy]

Holy hell really? What is the point of this? I thought STI beasties didn't "reside" anywhere specifically apart from your bloodstream?

OUCH

Don't you have any blood in your penis??

[Disco Dan]

On a side note:

Wanking. Choking the chicken. Spanking the monkey. Five-knuckle shuffle. Strumming on the one-stringed guitar. Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters. Having a Sherman. Han Solo. Playing the pink oboe. Doing your homework. Shaking hands with the unemployed. Holding your own. Liquidating the inventory.

Come one, come all.


Whatever you call it, you're all a bunch a wankers. And it’s perfectly natural. Even if you were told that you’re going to go blind, get hairy palms and have an epileptic fit (or meet a blind, hairy epileptic) because of it.

Self-love is wayyyyy better than no love, and as we’re coming (ahem) up to Masturbation Month (well, actually it's in May, but anyway...) we thought we’d share with you our Top 10 facts about everyone's favourite pastime:
1. Kellogg’s Corn Flakes and Graham’s Graham Crackers were invented specifically to taste bland because Kellogg and Graham were moral crusaders who believed that masturbation was evil and that flavourful foods awoke nasty sexual urges in us all.

2. The only sort of vague reference to masturbating being a sin in the Bible has to do with a chap from Genesis called Onan. Onan took umbrage to the law which stated something like: “If your brother is slayne, then ye should make whoopee with your bro’s laydee, so as to give her a childe.” Onan didn’t buy the argument that he should produce his brother’s kid, and thus, whenever he and sister-in-law knocked boots, he “spilled his seed” on the ground. This was considered by religious types to be a Bad Thing.

3. It may be okay for former US president Bill Clinton to spunk over Monica’s dress in Washington, but in Oklahoma it is illegal to masturbate while watching two people having sex in a car. Apparently.

4. Devoted American and Canadian wankers hid behind closed doors last May 2nd as they participated in the International Masturbate-athon. Willing and eagers collected money for a good cause (sex ed and AIDS charities mostly) based on how much they achieved during the day.

5. In Victorian times, women rarely got off. Because sex with men infrequently produced the kind of marvellous screaming orgasms that we know and love, many developed what was termed until 1952 as the womb disease “hysteria”. To cure such an affliction women had to go to the doctor's office where her GP attended to her needs. But word has it that 9 out of 10 docs found this experience a real chore until…

6. ...electric and steam-powered massagers were invented. This apparently cut the laborious treatment time in half.

7. 1911 was a good year. That was the year that the first electric dildo hit the market. Today, we have Ann Summers, Myla and Harmony among others to thank for our more upmarket toys. (Word of advice when buying a vibe, girls. Forget the expensive Rabbit as seen on Sex and the City, although it is pretty damn good. For a cheaper and often better alternative, try the small but aggressive Pocket Rocket combined with a curved G-spot vibrator and you’re laughing. Enjoy!)

8. There were many devices that were created in the 19th century to prevent masturbation. Among them were rings, ‘cooling’ mechanisms, corsets and our favourite, the Stephenson Spermatic Truss. Chronic masturbators were expected to put their old boy in a pouch, which was then stretched and tied down between the legs. The later model included a metal hood with sharp spikes. Hurrah.

9. The Asian religion Taoism believes that masturbating to completion is a bit of a waste, as spunking rids the male of too much useful “yin” energy.

10. Ever wondered what singer PJ Harvey was on about with her song Sheila-Na-Gig? Seems that Sheila, whose likeness is carved into many English and Irish churches, was a mythological goddess of fertility with great big genitals. She used to display her bits in a bid to ward off evil. As you do. “Back Satan…Or my vulva will gobble ye alive!”

[canarlee]

No truth in that tale at all.
What they really do is push a little umbrella sort of tool in as far as possible, and then pull it out. This scrapes out any infection that exists. Then a red-hot piece of wire is inserted to cauterise the de-scabbed nasties.
Hope this helps.

yup, thats exactly right.





if women are going to cheat then they should be more carefull if they dont want to get caught aye

[nodrog:Me]

Don't you have any blood in your penis??

not when i'm around you!

[caesius]

Don't you have any blood in your penis??

Not in my urethra that's for sure.

[terbang]

Just went through all that recently for a Saudi work visa, aids test and all. Blood test, piss into a jar and a whole bunch of questions, thats all. I'm all good for needle sharing now.

[tri boy]

What have you been doing with your brother to raise this conversation with him?
Fire up the Banjo's boys, were hav'n a family hoot'n nanny.

[Spuds1234]

Nothing. He just randomly said "Did you know that when you get an STD checkup they get a great big cotton swab and poke it down your knob"

[imdying]

Tell him to change doctors.

[MrMelon]

Harden up! There's some truth in what he's saying but it sounds a little exaggerated. With the cotton swap down the dickhole trick they like to pull, it's a tiny swab they use to get a sample of skin cells to test and it's painless. This is just one of the tests they do in combination with blood/urine tests. STI beasties can reside in a few places other than just your bloodstream... Better to be safe than sorry!