Attack of the Cone(heads)

[The Pastor]

I lived in Switzerland for two years and never saw one traffic cone. Road works on a narrow road did not close the road to pedestrians. We were allowed to walk within swing range of the diggers and the workers never wore hard hats. The philosophy was one of personal responsibility. The sites were clean (no rubbish piles or things left lying around to trip over) and the public used their brain and looked out for themselves.

....................AND THEN I STOPPED SMOKING THE POT

[PirateJafa]

The exception that proves this rule would have to be the roadworks outside Bucklands Beach Primary then.

Exited my humble abode this morning and there was 6 inches of loose gravel all over the road (and you thinking I'm kidding), and buses flying up and down the road, diggers reversing alarmingly into poor motorists, and those few people who are sane (and have the luxury of only having two wheels) have to resort to using the footpath to get by.

Sigh.

[Reckless]

It could get really scary soon.
I'm expecting some wacko to jump out of the KB woodwork any moment and say, "Stop picking on the cones! It's not their fault, and cones are people too, y'know".

They are there to get ya!!! They're just watchin and waitin now. But when you are asleep tonight they're gonna sprout little legs and arms with big daggers haha. you'll wake up and they'll be waitin in the hall ..........................then..................yo u DIE!!!

Its true you just wait. Sleep well tonight!!

Wacko

[vifferman]

The philosophy was one of personal responsibility.

There's the nub.
Or the rub.
Unfortunately, by "making our country safer", and trying to fix everything with rules'n'regulations, the grey-faced, grey-suited bureaucrats and Safety Nazis are inculcating a culture where people have no personal responsibility for their own actions. Cones are just one illustration of that.

[Ocean1]

And the signs, don't fergit the signs... Fekin' warning that, ferkin' caution this, ferkin' danger the other.

If'n I didn't know better I'd think from reading my Bluell owners manual, (which is 2" thick) that Merkin Buell owners are imbeciles. Fully 1 7/8" of it is dedicated to fekin' warnings of impending doom.

CAUTION: FAILURE TO PROPERLY INFLATE TIRES MAY RESULT IN INJURY OR DEATH etc etc.

Information potentially useful to non-imbeciles? Zip, Nada, Nawt.
What's the reccomended "tire" pressure? Fuck knows, the manual sure don't.

There is a pretty picture showing where to put the key... wonder if I can sue their asses for not warning me about the risks of lightning strike or botulism associated with putting the key there...

[Swoop]

OK - TheConesThatBrokeTheVifferman'sPatience were installed for no other apparent purpose than "I am, therefore I cone".

Ah, the joy of uplifting a large quantity of cones and re-distributing them in an area that will create chaos and mayhem.
Who will question these cones? NOBODY (apart from Vifferman...) because they are OSH!!! and we cannot question the OSHmonster!!!!
Muahahahahahaha!!!!

[surfchick]

Fookin’ coneheads! ...

Kill a cone today! (Or, better still - kill a coner tomorrow!)

I stole a cone for my flat at uni once... just doing my bit for your campaign

maybe there should be
boners not coners?
boners and droners and not coners
loaners not coners
cloaners not coners
phoners not coners...

**and we could put icecream in punnets.

[swbarnett]

There's the nub.
Or the rub.
Unfortunately, by "making our country safer", and trying to fix everything with rules'n'regulations, the grey-faced, grey-suited bureaucrats and Safety Nazis are inculcating a culture where people have no personal responsibility for their own actions. Cones are just one illustration of that.

Exactly, that's one of the things that I loved about Europe (maybe it's just Switzerland) - people are taught to think for themselves from an early age.

[swbarnett]

....................AND THEN I STOPPED SMOKING THE POT

I'm actually dead serious. I walked only one metre behind a working digger, past several workmen that didn't bat an eyelid. Did this every morning on the way to work for about six months.

[sunhuntin]

Sometimes cones just don't cut it. Working on a new offramp for a new motorway, we had a string of cones blocking off the road we were working on, bar a small gap for our trucks. Next to an existing road, the road we were working on was lower, gravel, not painted etc and had graders, water trucks and men in high vis jackets all over it.

Yet whilst performing some tests on the road, I was a little suprised to see an obviously confused little old lady in a small toyota driving up the road as equally confused labourers and foremen looked on.

bout 3 years back, the petrol station i work at was being refitted [new pumps, new shop, new everything] and the workers had those "wall" things across all 3 driveways. the forecourt was literally dirt, waiting to be paved. one of the managers was telling they had people driving into and through the "walls" [orange and white, i think filled with water?], had people moving them aside, driving up over the gutters etc and then driving on the gravel. ummm... duh?

and yesterday, there was a shit load of cones all over one half of the road... having been relocated by some local drunks. lol.

EDIT: saw this a few k south of kaikoura last november. still havent worked out how they did it! was just by the welcome to kaikoura sign.

[Steam]

EDIT: saw this a few k south of kaikoura last november. still havent worked out how they did it! was just by the welcome to kaikoura sign.

Ah! Those things are cool! They are all over the lower south island. I think it started in Otago. Someone strips a pine-tree at night and leaves a cone on top. It was in the newspaper and on the TV news too. Weird and cool! That's a good use for a cone.

[Steam]

Here is some cone art, including a Goatse and a hitchhiking cone.

[sAsLEX]

Best one I saw recently over here in the home of the ridiculous OSH shite..... was a two lane road, the only road out of the peninsula I live on closed to one lane with a lollipop man controlling it as they were repairing a pothole right to the side of one lane..... now in this case had someone been struck with a bolt of logic and common-sense they would of noted that this part of the road was actually about four lanes wide due to a bigFuckoff turning bay....... sensible coning would of allowed two lane to remain operational around the pothole...... but no they turned my five minute journey in to nearly an hour........ fuck I wish I had a bike over here.

[Coyote]

Stop picking on the cones! It's not their fault, and cones are people too, y'know!

I lived in Switzerland for two years and never saw one traffic cone. Road works on a narrow road did not close the road to pedestrians. We were allowed to walk within swing range of the diggers and the workers never wore hard hats. The philosophy was one of personal responsibility. The sites were clean (no rubbish piles or things left lying around to trip over) and the public used their brain and looked out for themselves.

Over here though, if someone who is an idiot happened to see the digger swing their arm over and suddenly think "shit dat's gunnu hit mah ride bro" so veers into a tree, their whānau says it couldn't have been their darling childs fault so charge the roadworkers of committing murder

I stole a cone for my flat at uni once... just doing my bit for your campaign

So has my girlfriend. She has a couple of signs too