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Thread: Ambidextrous golf

  1. #1
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    Talking Ambidextrous golf

    Four lawyers in a law firm lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. It was their favourite moment of the week. Then one of the lawyers was transferred to an office in another city. It wasn't quite the same without him.

    A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round in the break room. Curious, she spoke up, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good.

    Would you mind if I joined you next week?"

    The three lawyers looked at each other. They were hesitant.

    Not one of them wanted to say 'yes,' but she had them on the spot. Finally one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting pretty early at 6:30 am. He figured the early Tee-time would discourage her immediately. The woman said this might be a problem and asked if she could possibly be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes but said this would be okay.

    She smiled and said, "Good, then I'll be there either at 6:30 or 6:45."

    She showed up right at 6:30 and wound up beating all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under-par round. She was a fun and pleasant person the entire round. The guys were impressed! Back in the clubhouse they congratulated her and happily invited her back the next week.

    She smiled and said "Sure, I'll be here at 6:30 or 6:45."

    The next week she again showed up at 6:30 Saturday morning.

    Only this time, she played left-handed.

    The three lawyers were incredulous as she still managed to beat them with an even-par round despite playing with her off-hand. By now the guys were totally amazed, but wondered if she was just trying to make them look bad by beating them left-handed. They couldn't figure her out.

    She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be showing them up, but each man began to harbour a burning desire to beat her!

    In the third week they all had their game faces on. But this week she was 15 minutes late!

    This had the guys irritable because each was determined to play the best round of golf of his life to beat her. As they waited for her, they figured her late arrival was some petty gamesmanship on her part. Finally she showed up.

    This week the lady lawyer played right-handed, which was a good thing since she narrowly beat all three of them. However, she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, it was hard to keep a grudge against her. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out!

    Back in the clubhouse she had all three guys shaking their heads at her ability.

    They had a couple of beers after their round which helped the conversation loosen up.

    Finally one of the men could contain his curiosity no longer. He asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

    The lady blushed and grinned. She said, "That's easy. When my dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I have always had fun switching back and forth.

    Then when I met my husband in college and got married, I discovered he always sleeps in the nude.

    From then on I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his "you-know-what" was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed and if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed.

    Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, "But what if it's pointed straight up in the air?"

    She said, "Then I'm 15 minutes late."
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  2. #2
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    loooooooooooooove it!!!!
    ... ...

    Grass wedges its way between the closest blocks of marble and it brings them down. This power of feeble life which can creep in anywhere is greater than that of the mighty behind their cannons....... - Honore de Balzac

  3. #3
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    17th August 2006 - 22:42
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    hehe

  4. #4
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    Bloody brilliant!!!!! Got some golfing mates I'll have to pas it onto. =)
    "I came into this game for the action, the excitement... go anywhere, travel light,... get in, get out,... wherever there's trouble, a man alone... Now they got the whole country sectioned off; you can't make a move without a form."

    Paved roads are just another example of wasted tax payer dollars.

  5. #5
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    24th July 2006 - 11:53
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    Ambidextrous women eh? Now you know why I'm sometimes 3 min late for a ride.
    Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ocean1 View Post
    Now you know why I'm sometimes 3 min late for a ride.
    You should get one of those new-fangled zip flys, instead of having to waste time fumbling with buttons.
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hitcher View Post
    You should get one of those new-fangled zip flys, instead of having to waste time fumbling with buttons.
    Ah, a technophile, no doubt a Velcro proponent.
    No thanks dude, I’ll stick to my buckskin and rawhide, once bitten twice shy…
    Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon

  8. #8
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    Very good, Mr Hitcher!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  9. #9
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    15th May 2007 - 11:26
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    I loved that...finally a bit subtlety! Thank you Mr Hitcher...
    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Time to cut out the "holier/more enlightened than thou" bullshit and the "slut" comments and let people live honestly how they like providing they're not harming themselves or others in the process.

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