Is resignation betrayal?

[Joni]

Tell them to shove their flowers up their arse

You know mate... I am fully aware that I am too soft, and that my concern for others is at times not my best asset, as it has caused my downfall... but damn, not sure how to shake it, and not sure I want to be as tough as people like you anyway

Ah well, One step at a time...

[Scouse]

Tell them to shove their flowers up their arse

You know mate... I am fully aware that I am too soft, and that my concern for others is at times not my best asset... but damn, not sure how to shake it, and not sure I want to be as tough as people like you anyway

Ah well, One step at a time...

Ok so tell them to do it in the nicest posible way with icecream and a cherry on top

[Goblin]

Tell them to shove their flowers up their arse

Ever the Diplomat eh.

[BarBender]

Some industries are pretty cut-throat in terms of 'demanding' when people need to make their decisions by....especially if you're good and they think there are other players wanting to recruit you ...OR if they have other candidates waiting in the wings OR if the companies recruiting are in the middle of a RFP and need to put names into the proposal. Advertising and IT are examples where this situation is commonplace. However Im surprised that you were only given a short amount of time. Standard is usually 5 working days.
Flowers?? Shhhiiitt! Sounds like these guys could tear your head off and smile while they do it. Just my $.02 but Id pass. You just got a good look at how these guys operate when trying to recruit. Id hate to think what their management style is like. If they really wanted you they would have given you the time.
End it nicely though. Chch is a small place.

Husband and wife management teams??? Thats almost as bad as drinking buddies going into business. Dont get me wrong some work. But its a given that the dirty laundry is going to get aired. Part and parcel of the dynamic of that type of business partnership...
Question is Joni...Have you had enough?

Best of luck babe.
R

[Wolf]

Tell them to shove their flowers up their arse

Ooh! Hope they were roses - "old fashioned" roses...

[Virago]

Tell them to shove their flowers up their arse

...But tell them to do a flower-arranging course first - as they must look 100% at all times...

[Brett]

Some industries are pretty cut-throat in terms of 'demanding' when people need to make their decisions by....especially if you're good and they think there are other players wanting to recruit you ...OR if they have other candidates waiting in the wings OR if the companies recruiting are in the middle of a RFP and need to put names into the proposal. Advertising and IT are examples where this situation is commonplace. However Im surprised that you were only given a short amount of time. Standard is usually 5 working days.
Flowers?? Shhhiiitt! Sounds like these guys could tear your head off and smile while they do it. Just my $.02 but Id pass. You just got a good look at how these guys operate when trying to recruit. Id hate to think what their management style is like. If they really wanted you they would have given you the time.
End it nicely though. Chch is a small place.

Husband and wife management teams??? Thats almost as bad as drinking buddies going into business. Dont get me wrong some work. But its a given that the dirty laundry is going to get aired. Part and parcel of the dynamic of that type of business partnership...
Question is Joni...Have you had enough?

Best of luck babe.
R

Always full of solid comment and advice aren't ya Rona? Good words.

Edit - cant give you bling...gotta spread the love around a bit first!

[sunhuntin]

...But tell them to do a flower-arranging course first - as they must look 100% at all times...

LOL. i suggest cutting the heads off and sending back the stems...

the new company are not willing to allow you breathing space now, when you are not even on their payroll... imaging what theyd be like if you were! youve made the right choice in tolerating the husband/wife team until something more suitable comes along.

yeh, having a couple working together always ends up bad. both of my jobs ive had co workers that were married... if one has a day off, so does the other, so all of a sudden you are two staff down instead of one. my current job, the husband had a heart attack, so he was off. his wife then had "a breakdown" and hello, shes off as well! not good. at a time when staff were already stretched thin, with many pulling double shifts.

[sweetp]

Hey Joni, sounds like you are making some tough decisions at the moment. I know people have said it before but you need to put yourself first and also to trust your intuition. Neither your current job or the new one sounds right for you, so if you have the courage hold out for what is going to work for you.

It is really hard to leave a job and even harder to turn one down when you are not happy, but be assured if you want it to happen it will.

I know it sounds soppy but I am HR and have been through a very similar thing recently. I acutally turned down a job and ended up in a role that I didn't think was going to offer me much but am now the 2IC....

Good luck to you - and I have to say a weekend is not long enough to review a contract especially if you want to seek external advice. They need to give you at least until Wednesday......

[howdamnhard]

Good decision,bide your time until you find one that suits you,at least now you have the luxury of time and flexibility

Well kick and I had a chat…. And without me telling him what my decision was, his call was the same as mine.

Analysed:
So I currently work for a company that I am not happy in.
I have a few options that I can look at, no guarantee that I get them, but at least I know there is potential.

The offer I got:
-The have given me a weekend to think it over, with no opportunity to consult Greg Jones, my personal business mentor.
- I might have to give up Kung Fu, as they don’t allow Flexi time and won’t let me come in early and leave a little earlier on a Monday and Wednesday.
- I have to wear a suit everyday/all day, my desk has to be spotless at all times. (pfft)
- I have to take a pay cut
etc etc etc and there are many etc's

Basically I will say thank but no thanks. I want to join a company where I can stay for a while and grow. They have showed no flexibility, and it seems its their way or no way…. I would rather listen to my boss fight and throw things around the office for a while longer, until I find people who appreciate the talent I have to offer and show that its give and take… flexibility is a great thing.

So I keep on looking… at least now I have worked through the feelings of guilt about leaving… and am ready to accept the right position, not just any position.

Thank you, quite a few of you have helped, and I have taken your advice on board.

[NighthawkNZ:Me]

I don’t often write about personal stuff on KB… but I wanted to get some thoughts, as I am really mulling over something.

About a year ago I joined a company after they head hunted me quite aggressively. In the beginning all was ok, as it always is as everyone is at their best behaviour…

However slowly but surely the Director and her husband (the Financial Manager) started to fight, until after a few months very personal stuff was being aired in the office. This has never settled down… however a few months ago they started treating me like that as well… slightly aggressive, abusive and quite personal which I feel is way above the level of standard professional courtesy.

Through being upset about it and mulling of a career change, I eventually started looking for another position and have now been offered something that will open the doors for me in what I want to do in the future.

However, now all of a sudden I feel so stink… when my boss is not fighting, she is a damn nice lady and I get on with her really well… its just at times she is a genuine bully. But I feel so guilty about telling her about my decision… that I am trying to get out of doing it Monday.

Phew!

So my loyalty is something that I pride myself in… but when does loyalty need to step back for self preservation??

Oh dear… I feel like a traitorous shit!
Am I being a big softie again?

Is the pay and conditions better... (go with the money) if your not being treat in a professional manner then don't put up with...

Its with your right to move on to bigger and better places... write down the good and bad points of staying and do the same with your offered position. Do they (your employee) need you more than you need them???

At the end of the day if you are not happy where you are then simply move on.

[ManDownUnder]

No - it's not betrayal although I can see how it feels that way especially if they went out of their way to find you.

Look at it clinically, employment is an exchange of convenience, your expertise and time for thier resources (cash perks etc). If that's not working either of you has the rights and abilities to change it although it's a lot harder for the employer to do it.

Employment contract is an egreement for that exchange to take place ongoing. If something in the office is making it horrible for you to work there then don't.

Be clinical about it - if I were in your shoes, what would you tell me? I'll bet it would be
1) Look after yourself first
2) Make sure they know why you're leaving
3) Move on to something that gives you opportunities in the future.

No?

[Ocean1]

I am fully aware that I am too soft, and that my concern for others is at times not my best asset,

If that's not your best asset I'd quite like to explore the rest...

You didn't need to ask about the job though did you?

You feel bad about how others are behaving, and you can't change it? Well, if you've been assertive about your expectations of their behaviour towards you and it's made no difference then you shouldn't feel that you lack loyalty in leaving. Simple as that really.

Same deal with the new job offer. Any new appointment process requires some flexibility in negotiation. If you calmly call their bluff about the proposed conditions then you've clearly demonstrated that you won't be unreasonably treated. It is possible they are looking for exactly such a response, in which case you've demonstrated your worth and set a precedent. Flick them a brief but well constructed Email saying that you feel their concerns with regards to your personal transport are perhaps innapropriate, and that you'll let them know Wednesday. If they stick to their position, wanting you there Monday and bikeless then what does that tell you about their culture? You can walk away happy that you missed nothing.

Right, think that's the standard male advisory response to the standard female request for support out the way eh?

Oh, one more bit of free advice: Don't toughen up too much m'dear, we still expect the normal female response to the usual male fuckups and general social ineptitude.

[Finn]

Don't forget how accommodating your employers have been about you spending so much time on KB. That would have cost them big time.

However, they seem weird. I say sleep with the husband then leave.

[Hitcher]

Life isn't a dress rehearsal. You've got to do what's best for Joni. The only opinion here that matters is yours.