Special Classes Offered to Husbands

[lemure]

Special Classes Offered to Husbands


* HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation
* TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion
* DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)
* DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE / FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.
* LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS.
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming - Open forum
* EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play
* HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation
* REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did
* IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation
* LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing
* HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques
* REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class
* GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counselors available

[Mikkel]

Haha

-Pseudo science. All men know how these things work - it's not magic, just the basic forces of nature. The origins of these forces are: 6-pack abs, ferraris and not least a fat bank account!

[LardEmbargo]

Ok. Apply now for Training Courses for Women, running from January

Automotive Studies
* Petrol Stations I: Removing the nozzle from the tank before attempting to drive away
* On-Road Skills I: Green means "Go", not "Please sit there applying makeup"
* Tyre Pressure Fundamentals: Why 'bar' is not the same as 'psi'

Bathroom Courses
* The Cost of Personal Hygiene: Zen and the Art of getting Pubes out of the Soap
* Pointless Products Studies: What happens to your expensive lavender-scented toilet roll?
* Bathroom Safety: Using his razor to shave your legs (course run in conjunction with Home Safety II: minimise your visits to Accident and Emergency, and Household Expenses IV: reduce your partner's reconstructive plastic surgery bills.)
* Cosmetics Marketing 101: "Take 12 bottles into the shower?" -Advertisers, and why they love you

Language Classes
* Basic English I - Straightforward Statements: The Meaning of "You're not fat"
* Conversational English: You Too Can Learn How to Stop Twisting Everything People Say and Then Using it Against Them
* Differences of Opinion (for Advanced Students) Discussions with Logical Flow

Life Skills
* 'Guerrilla' Shoe Shopping: Get in, hit 'em hard, get out in under 4 days
* Skills in Gossip I: Pausing for breath
* Decision Making: Choose your outfit for the evening before it's too late to actually go out
* Identifying Quality Entertainment: Why rentals from the Romantic Comedy section will be wank
* Nutrition I: Controlled Dieting, and why not eating for 3 days before the party just isn't the same
* Gaining Perspective: Quantifying the Actual Absolute Importance of Mrs Grady's cousin's daughter's hairdresser's new wallpaper

Navigation Training
* Map Reading I (6 week Foundation Course) Holding your map the right way up
* Map Reading II: Left.
* Map Reading II: And Right.
* Map Reading IV: Giving directions before the turn-off you actually needed.

[lemure]

Ok. Apply now for Training Courses for Women, running from January ...

no no no no no ... Remember women multi-task better than men. Don't argue about this: it's fact. January's when women are usually on holiday with nothing to do, so they won't be able to handle it - too much time on their hands. Schedule it for December 08. Xmas shopping, kids just got off school, wife still working, hubby wondering where his bike gear is after winter, holiday plans need finalising, ... c'mon, put some thought into this.